...and Piglet didn't actually say it - she just SAID she would (likely story)

If you're applying for another studentship I think you have to mention your current PhD, and think seriously about whether you really want another one. If you're applying for a job there's probably no need to mention the PhD. In either case it should be fine not to have a reference from your PhD supervisor - surely the application won't specify this? But if your current PhD supervisor will write a good reference for your new studentship application, then why not take it? I'm guessing this isn't likely...

(wasn't referring to coastman as 'baby' BTW )

Everyone's a winner, baby, that's the truth

TWELVE HUNDRED! (an important number for me PhD-wise - can't say why...)

winnings? you'll have to win first to find out...

re "how do you set deadlines for a supervisor?" I wouldn't dare - I'd be yelled at.

If the work is not going to be up to standard, then submitting without supervisor's approval is not going to make them happy! But (IMO) if they suffer for it, it's their own fault for showing no interest.
If the work IS up to standard, then a disinterested supervisor will at worst remain disinterested, and at best be pleased that they got a student through without slaving for it...

It must be tough to be in that situation. I don't feel that I have to have feedback from supervisor to write my thesis - in fact, I'd be quite happy to submit it without anyone else having laid eyes on it. Sure, I'd LIKE advice etc, but if I have to do it on my own, I can.
But none of that's helpful for you...I think you should chase them up, but not by e-mail. Put a nice big smile on, knock on their door (or phone them if you're away from uni) and ask sweetly.
And at the same time (because ultimately you can't force them to do anything) carry on with your work as much as possible.

I guess that's the thing - when I started I had a really clear idea of what I wanted to achieve research-wise. These aims were totally over-ambitious, and I've 'compromised' lots, but I'm still trying to ACHIEVE something, otherwise I reckon it's been a complete waste of time (it's not training-for-a-career-in-research for me since I'm not staying in academia). That's what motivates me - this is my ONLY chance to publish something.

I guess things got easier after the half-way point, knowing that I was closer to finishing than to starting. That said, every now and again (nearly four years in) I still feel like quitting - threatening to not write a thesis. I wouldn't really say I'm obsessively curious now. We had to write a little paragraph when we started about why we wanted to do a PhD - mine makes me cringe now, I was very naive. I just want a sense of completion - I want to finish the minimum that I came here to do, so that I won't feel I've failed (even if I were to pass my viva without having reached MY own goals, I'd feel like I'd failed).

I want to go somewhere for the month of August - in between submission and viva, but it probably won't happen...

But I think there are certain areas of research that can only be carried out in academia (like mine) - so if bdboy likes the research, a PhD may be the only way to stay involved. That was kinda my point. Maybe (also like me) he/she doesn't like it ENOUGH - or doesn't like all the things that accompany the research (environment etc)...

You said "I still love science, and like my research topic" - so it's a matter of deciding whether you can put up with all of the problems to stay involved in the research that you 'like' (on some level).
Three (potentially more) years is a long time - I decided to put up with problems similar to yours, but I'm not sure it was a wise decision.