..except this thread. When the human race has ended (probably in the next 500 years), the cockroaches will continue to post drivel on here. One day, a clever woodlouse might even write a book on it and start a whole new religion.

not me, that's for sure!

Sometimes I have those sorts of mornings like on Three Weddings And A Funeral where he wakes up late and nothing is going right. It usually involves me dashing round the flat (in true Hugh Grant style saying "f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, f***, " as you do.

Good for you Insomniac. I know that some of that get paid (this was discussed on here by the great HangSeng who, at the time, seemed strangely familiar). I avoid them like the plague, the secret being to quicken your pace, look purposeful and never, ever make eye contact!

Before anyone jumps on Grumpy old Sylvester, I do give to charity in other ways and on my own terms!

Well, I'm prepared to listen. What advice are you planning to give?

Kind-hearted volunteers? They get paid....for putting on that false smile and chasing you down the street!

A = I , hmmm, losing the plot here

A remember a similar thread to this awhile ago. See if you can find it and bring it to the top. We'll have a think on what to add!

Ahh, some Brits abroad smilies:

(unionjackshorts)
(englandfootballshirt)
(onthebeachatmiddayandwithoutsuntanlotion)
(club18-30)

(thousandsofcharityworkers) = (chuggers) ... charity muggers!

another one:

(ripofflatenightquizzesdesignedforstupidpeople)

Perhaps a few smilies to symbolise modern England

(stgeorge) obviously
(flag) likewise

(booze)
(binge-drinking)
(weekendnighttimetowncentrewarzone)
(teenpregnancy)
(materialism)
(greed)
(realitytv)
(politicalcorrectness)

any more?

No nay never..

Definitely. I'm thinking of taking the day off in celebration!

Otto could be short for Ottoman (i.e. Turkey). His name could well be Troy(assuming Otto is a he, I've never thought about it).

Okay. I'm not a historian. You're going to tell me Helen is not Greek either now aren't you?