I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this Eska, I can't believe your niece is treating you this way, let alone that others are allowing it.

I want to say that you should absolutely go if you truly want to, you have as much right as anyone. Quite frankly, sod the girl's reaction and sod what anyone else thinks. To be left out of a family event in this way is terrible, and I'm sad that your extended family have been bullied into accepting this girl's behaviour.

But all that said, while your niece doesn't own her mother's memory, she does have control of this event. If she's truly as awful as she sounds, I worry what she might put you through, I imagine she may well be angry. No one should ever stop you from remembering or feeling connected with your sister, but will this event (organised as it is by someone who doesn't respect that bond), really give you the opportunity to honour that? If it would cause you distress then you certainly wouldn't be showing any less love for your sister by having your own, separate remembrance.

I certainly don't mean that you shouldn't go, just don't feel pressured into it by other people's plans. Take this stand only if you feel good doing so and if it really gives you something. *hugs*

Well done keep_calm. I know it's rough but just imagine how much scrawling you could do on their work! I usually rail against any feedback, then realise it's quite helpful once I've calmed down.

Have a nice night tonight and reward yourself for your bravery :-)

I'm sure he's more disappointed than truly miffed, long distance really is hard going and he must have been looking forward to that time with you. Could you substitute part of the period at your parent's for staying with him, maybe while writing up? I don't think you should give a good training opportunity if you can help it, you need all the cv you can get just now. It must be horrible to know you can't live together for now, at least if you're in a good job though you'll have proper holiday time and more money to visit one another.

My own ability to move around for work post-phd is limited because hubby and I have a mortgage and he has a child, so dashing off to where there's work isn't easy. I actually chose my phd mainly on the basis of geography (so we could live close to his daughter) but now I'm working up the guts to strike out and do something for the sake of my career. He's very supportive, but the guilt and prospect of being apart does tear you up inside. It's made me re-think my plans a lot because I don't want us to be apart long term and I know that mobility (preferably on an international scale) is really important if you want to develop an academic career.

hehe, looks like you're over-helped wally (I blame it on the lure of procrastination)

Got it.
PM me an email and I'll send it on :-)

If it makes you feel any better, I didn't even get up until 11 :$ I was working til 3am last night to make up for yesterday's lack of progress.....looks like I'm headed for a repeat performance today, oh dear.

If you're really not with it then head off, enjoy the down time and come back refreshed. No sense sitting at a desk for the sake of it :-)

Hehe, hard to work when there are chocolate egg hunts to plan....

Actually i'm a little bit sad, easter is always a big deal in my family and I'm spending this year alone, even hubby will be away. I wish I could be egg hunting and roast cooking with my family in London. Still, I'll go out with friends instead, maybe I'll make them hunt for eggs in the pub!

Hi James

I think it does depend on the field, in a lot of science it can be hard to progress beyond a certain point without a phd to your name, but there are industries where practical experience is more valued. Do you know anyone working in robotics R&D who could talk to you about this? Even looking up companies you're interested in and taking a look at their staff pages might help (How many staff have phd after their name? What do the company request in terms of qualifications when recruiting?).

If it's really academia you're interested in then I'd imagine a phd is fairly essential. If funding is really a nightmare it might be worth teaming up with an academic who'd supervise you and approaching companies to see if they want anything researched, they will sometimes fund students for a targeted project (although beware the IP and publishing restrictions).

I take it that your old company doesn't have an R&D department you could move into?

Anyone about this fine nocturnal morning?

After a day of procrastinating I've finally tackled the revisions made by my supervisor. In fairness to him (and despite all my whinging upon receiving them) most of his comments were genuine improvements. Now I just have to write the rest of the thesis and get it all reviewed by all supervisors - urgh.

Good luck Chrisrolinski!

Don't mind him Eska, Wally is just in a quagmire of bitterness due to the pain of phd research. He'll be back to his usual flattery and wit before long I'm sure ;-)

Thinking about the competition element, this article
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=does-the-us-produce-too-m
from last month's scientific american mind has some interesting figures regarding the way that academia has changed, in particular the extensive period scientists now have to spend in so-called "training" posts before they can hope to even fight for a permenant job. Nowadays all the work is propped up by highly qualified but lowly paid postdocs on temporary contracts, great for the flexibility of science, terrible for the scientists themselves.