Sorry you're having such a rubbish day Eska, is the world a bit like a pile of mouldy (sprout) 's just now?
(sorry, couldn't resist the new icons)

I agree with sneaks, don't over-analyse what your sup said, half the time these people are just waffling without intent. Is there anyone else who could give you an objective view of your progress? It seems unfair that they should automatically assume you'll need six years (I know plenty of full timers doing half time hours). And as cheesy as it sounds, I really think you should believe in yourself here! My sups really don't know how far along I am or how well I'm doing and I've realised in third year that the only person who can really judge my progress is me. I think we all suffer from fairly crippling self doubt in the phd process, don't let it consume you.

As far as living arrangements go, I take it you can't wait until the job stuff is more certain before moving? Just wondering if you have enough to contend with right now without throwing that into the mix :s

And if all I've written is a pile of useless tosh (entirely likely), know that you have my support and well wishes.

Nic, argh, I just posted you a very long reply and it got chewed!

The gist was that I really feel for you, I have some issues myself and that I understand how frustrating and depressing it can be, there's nothing worse than feeling defined or restricted by an illness and it's a hard mindset to get out of when things are bad.

If your supervisor doesn't fully understand the situation then I really think you should tell him, as scary as that is. If he doesn't understand what's going on he will be resentful about the work, but he may respond much better to your explaining what's happening and setting realistic targets that you can meet. No, he won't be overjoyed that the targets have to be set lower for now, but it's miles better than the frustration of seeing you miss deadlines without knowing why. aside from anything, if you set yourself up for a fall you'll feel terrible and risk giving up as you're now considering, please don't do that to yourself.

And I second Bilbo, she has determination like I've never seen, she's often on the nocturnal thread if you want to stop in there.

Oh look, here's the sequel....
(nevermind cloglet)

I think it's perhaps not important whether this was real or imagined; he could be a bastard who messes with the emotions of women all around - if so, dear God don't be his next victim, you're worth more than that. Alternatively, if it was mostly imagined on your part (that's not a personal insult, it's amazing what our emotions can make us see) then equally, it's time to move on because you deserve better than an imaginary love-life.

Magictime is right. And while I know it must be hard, you're part-time, and as a fairly independent phd you probably have les contact than average colleagues in an office. If it's not too late to rescue the phd in terms of deadlines etc, then I'd suggest the following: have a meeting with him and just say "I've really drifted off course as you know, it's for personal reasons that I'd rather not go into but I'd like to make a fresh start"? It might even be a good idea to tell him you're taking a few weeks break to clear your head first (in which time, go out and remember what you want in life, away from this man) and then make that fresh start with a bit of perspective. Make it your mission to prove yourself academically, and try to "thought-block" whenever you start obsessing over him/the other colleague/etc.

It seems such a shame to let this romance-that-never-was deprive you of your education. Surely losing out in terms of your feelings has been bad enough Geisha? Grit your teeth, get all you can from him professionally and keep things as formal as possible. Oh, and without wishing to sound utterly trite - maybe just get out there and date someone else! I don't mean rebound all over the shop and hurt yourself, but just get a reminder that there are more fish in the sea and boost your ego a little so this perceived rejection doesn't continue to define you.

Mmm, fizzy fangs sound rather good (although I did wince a little as I imagined them).

Problem in my field is that articles are usually limited to a few thousand words, so everything is very basic compared to thesis writing. I'm really struggling to get into the detail (it just takes so damn long when every sentence needs a reference!). Still, I have a few hundred words of introduction now so that feels good in itself :-) Now if I could just face tomorrow's labwork.....

I'm in third year Sneaks, supposed to submit by June next year and it suddenly seems precious few months until deadline-day :s
I have a few disjointed papers I've written, but nothing on the general topic in any depth. Curse my shoddy attitude to writing in prior years! My current aim in life is to find a way to tackle the phd while being less stressed...... otherwise I may also be writing up divorce papers as hubby-dearest finds it a tad trying.

Good luck with typing up scouser lady (I feel this is the basis of a phdcomics installment btw, I think you should email Jorge and become a gradschool star!).

Your point about filing is very valid sneaks, but more importantly, you're coming up with some of the best quotes I've heard in months! I don't have a "geordie lady" in my files, but I do have lots of data that made perfect sense two years ago and is now thinly-veiled garbage for all I can get out of it.

Just had my inter-uni supervisory team meeting which has sufficiently terrorised me that i'm back at my laptop this evening. My own gantt chart has also frightened the crap out of me (that and the bill I just got for my car's MOT needs *sob*). Tonight I'm actually going to start some introduction writing - yup, stupid arse here never did write her lit review, gulp.

But

Not

For

Long!

And congratulations walminksi....

Go Chrisrolinski!

That's an awesome night's work!

I think I may cave though, I've been working on this since 5.40am and I'm done for.

Good luck chris and wal :-)

Hey Bilbo, glad to hear you feeling so confident, well done! I can only imagine the determination you must have to keep going in the face of illness, you're really an inspiration (up)

I have about 6 months left and virtually nothing written, but I hope very much to finish off my practical work soon (if my sup ever stops finding new things to do) and then i pray the muse of theses will pay a visit....hmmm.

*settles into the plush seats of first class and orders some of their finest columbian coffee*

Well done Sue, Chris and Wal, sounds like you're all doing some hardcore writing tonight! It heartens me to be in such fine, if virtual, company.
I meanwhile, am simply faffing about trying to draw pretty pictures in powerpoint (they all look a bit shit so far).

I think there's a broad spectrum on here peckster. Some have kids, jobs and full time parakeet care, others of us are fancy-free. I don't teach but do some voluntary work and some work experience for my own interest, I also have a p/t step-child and a husband with a bizarre work schedule which adds to the fun :-)

I think the only way to judge your own set-up is by whether it works for you. If you get your PhD work done, your sup is happy and you aren't burnt out then great. There's no one size approach to these things so as long as you feel ok, I wouldn't worry.

Luckily clogsie I have a gem of a supervisor who understands that these things just happen. That and the fact that he managed to convince the company they'd mis-advertised (which they had in a sense) and got the whole thing refunded as a credit ;-) Even my consumables are usually in 3-4 figures a batch so we have to wince and bear it in my lab.

Besides, any time I feel bad I just remember a good friend of mine who went on an industrial placement and managed to ruin a tube of antibody with the wrong dilution...... it was worth so much I don't dare quote the sum (but think the scale of a banker's bonus)