The day becomes even more weird. I've got my second results chapter back and my sup likes that one as well. What's going on? I never usually get off so lightly when I hand something in to them. I'd better get my third results chapter handed in while they're going through this 'phase'.

Hey everyone, we really haven't done anything fun on this forum in ages. I expect, in part, because we're all working very hard on our theses. Well, I've come up with an idea for a thread. We narrate the story of a PhD student, from getting accepted to completion. For those of us that have passed, those of use that are at an advanced stage and nearing completion and even those of us in our first and second years, we live live it (for better or for worse). Ergo, we're better qualified than anyone to tell the story of the PhD student.
I'll start off the the story and we can continue it until, possibly, completion: viva success! Or not...

"Well I think it's fascinating," said Johnny.
"No, the fact is, you want to be a student forever," countered Sally.
Johnny thought deeply about Sally's hurtful accusation and said, "Erm, I don't think so. You're not a really a student anyway. You're a postgraduate student, and there is a very big difference. Besides, I want to make a big contribution to my field, and I want to continue to do so as a researcher. I want to be an academic and to do that you have to gain a PhD."
"Ha ha ha," laughed Sally, "gerra job! Anyway, remind me what you're going to be, erm, a student in again?"
Johnny sighed, and then sighed again.
"I've submitted a research proposal concerned with the assessment of the contribution of the water tap to modern western culture," said Johnny.
"Ha ha ha," chortled Sally.
"It's actually a very serious matter. You do realise that modern standards of domestic hygiene are only possible because of water tapes? The design has also changed considerably over the years from standard hot and cold taps to precise mixer taps? Throughout modern history, water taps have been used as an expression or wealth and class, even sexuality in some cases. Indeed, I would go so far as to say-"
"Shut up now. Nobody is interested in taps except for you. Anyway, it's late and I have work tomorrow. Anyway, when will you find out of you've got a place?" interrupted Sally.
"Hopefully tomorrow. It's a GTA, like I've told you, and there's a lot of competition for the places this year. You know? With no jobs for graduates and all that?" said Johnny.
"Well, I've got my fingers crossed for you. I hope you get good news. I'll see you later," said Sally as she headed out of the front door of Johnny's.
"Yeah, thanks, Sal. Bye," said Johnny.
Later that night, Johnny laid awake in bed, unable to sleep, the anxiety of whether or not his proposal would be successful playing on his mind. He thought about the contribution he could make to human knowledge. The truth was, Johnny thought, nobody has ever used a cross-sectional interview and survey-based approach to assessing the cultural impact of the water tap in the UK.
"The design is water tight!" he chortled aloud.

To be continued...

If I thought my viva examiner was a religious zealot, I'd certainly do it. Slip in sly little religiously themed sentences in my results. Something like...

Further, all correlations were found to be highly significant (p = <0.01). And Jesus said let this thesis pass. However, the strength of positive association between the two subscales was below 0.45. This may be attributable to Pope John Paul II, who convincingly argued: 'Love is never defeated, and I could add, the history of Ireland proves it, so make sure you pass this thesis with [very] minor corrections at the most'.

Sadly, I'm fairly sure my external is quite the rational man of science, so I doubt it'll work.

Congratulations, Dr Amanda!

Me don't think so, Algaequeen! As if I'd forget this thread and really let you win!

Well, didn't finish it tonight - but there's always tomorrow. It's too late to start making data tables now, because I'll only pay for it tomorrow if I'm up dead late.

Hmm, I've been very pre-occupied with crappy work of late, but I've realised something that's actually quite obvious: Eska has disappeared. She hasn't posted in ages. I'll have to put an add in the missing persons section of the PhD Times.

Woman dressed in a gaudy Father Christmas suit, last seen wondering around PGF in the middle of summer. Very enthusiastic about film and culture - quite outspoken (in a nice way!). Has a disgusting taste in men, so please don't start speaking about Richard Gere if approached. Answers to the name of Eska. Poor PhD student, so no reward offered.

I've also realised the distinct absence of shared knowledge and wisdom from that most gentle of men, Goodboy. Hmm...:$...Nahhhh!

Hi Livvie, I have to confess I have one mighty motivating factor: no sodding money. My finding has ended, so I have to get it done. There's no way, realistically, that I'm going to be able to work full time and carry on with this.

Got one of my results chapters back. My supervisor likes it, so that's one less thing to worry about. I'm hoping to finish off my last results chapter tonight. God knows if I'll do it. I was up till 3 am last night having to redo some silly calculations in order to write it. And I'm really, really tired. Back to it now - the lost has to be done and handed in by Xmas.

Done about 1,000 words on the third results chapter so far. I hope I can maybe get most of it drafted by the end of the night. It's not too bad because I'm just describing results from quan data analysis, so 20 % this way, significant difference that way - and so on. Pfff....

Right, must start writing the first draft of the third and final results chapter. I hate doing my work like this because, come the next supervisory meeting, I'm going to have an awful lot of corrections and re-writes to do I'll bet.

The topic is approachable and could be very interesting, but I think you'll need to narrow down exactly what you're going to be looking at in terms of the equity of health care. Are you going to be looking at any specific health care system? How exactly are you going to define equity in health care? How are you going to measure or evaluate it? Then you need to look at your methodology and the methods. I think there's really good potential to maybe look at using a mixed methodological approach here. Triangulation or complementarity perhaps. I'm going off on one now, but you could look at what service users and managers have to say at what they perceive to inequities qualitatively and then quantitatively look at measuring the inequities in health care and then do an integrated analysis and discussion. Hmm..anyway, you'll soon be an expert. Get hold of reviews of this vast area and look at what has been done. Good luck with your PhD.

Sent. Now time to wind down for 20 mins before sleep.

Well, a first draft of my second results chapter has been done. I really don't like it but I'll e-mail it off before the night is out. Meh!