I don't think that relationships between students and lecturers are at all unprofessional. In Higher Education, we're all grown-ups after all. You're highly unlikely to find a 50 year old lecturer going out with a 20 year old. I suppose that others' perceptions of such relationships can be damaging to the lecturer and also to the student. But, if one went to the university I did, they would find that such relationships are not at all uncommon.

Eska, I'm a junkie, not a pimp. Anyway, having now tried nearly every drug known to man, I only have a few left: marijuana, absinthe, dexies (whatever they are) and one called out of body experience. I only hope there's one called rehab after all these binges.

I've not posted on this thread, so far, for quite an embarrassing reason. I don't know if it's because I've got problems relating to burn out or what have you, but every time I'm struggling with my writing, data analysis or being criticised by my supervisors for my PhD work or lack of (more common of late), I just imagine this smug little man sat on my shoulder, laughing into my ear and saying 'Ha, ha, ha, you should have gone to Belford!' Actually, like the Specsaver's adverts, I think that could do wonders for Belford as an advert.

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Oh my god, it's the SPSS output window!

How dare you offend SPSS! We've had many a good time together and a jolly old laugh. I'll never forget the first time we did our first T-test together and I couldn't find it because of the counter-intuitive submenu. Oh, and then there was the time we entered my data together for a multiple regression, but it had to be done in a really stupid way - we were at it all night long and I was knackered the next day. Sadly, like many professional relationships that become personal, I ended up recognising SPSS for what it was - a time waster. It moved out into my recycle bin, I moved on and I've been with Sigmastat ever since. Of course, me and Sigmastat have out ups and downs but there is an excellent help centre that helps us resolve our differences.

It's a rubifacient, so it works by increasing blood flow to the area of application, which therefore causes that area to warm up. It takes away pain via counter-irritation, since the nerves that carry pain also carry temperature sensation, so the nerves are blocked doing that.

Oh heck, I'd actually forgotten about this. :$ It was a fun idea that never came to light, yet simples to do. Hmmm, there would need to write some lyrics though, but everything else would be easy enough. I haven't run away with the money, I'm just not a very talented songwriter.

There actually are people (mugs) that buy stuff like this and swear it works. Personally, I'm all for it for such people if it keeps them away from real drugs. The only thing I got out of it though was ear ache, boredom and a feeling of wasted procrastination time. All the drugs sound like variations of the BBC Test Card signal (that one with the girl holding a dolly), yet no-one has ever got high off that.

Eska, thank you for asking. I've not had the most exciting birthday this year, as I've been immersed in the process of peer review and data collection. However, I've got a big conference coming up next month and I've bagged the best hotel room you could imagine. It's actually a designer hotel room with memory foam mattress, Imac entertainment centre, designer coffee maker, mood lighting, balcony, free Jaffa oranges, designer bathroom with designer bubble bath - and so on and so on... And my uni is paying for it for me for two days, so that will make up for it! :-)

I'm hoping to begin negotiations with Peoples' Friend or Take-A-Break to get an expose printed on my drug nightmare, hopefully next to the articles about Katie Price and Peter Andre. As my academic colleagues, I feel I need to warn you about a new terror, a new horror that stalks the streets and threatens to blight all our lives. Over the past couple of days, I've become a very serious junkie and there's nothing I haven't tried. I've gone from an innocent academic church mouse to a corrupted, erm, one. There's nothing I haven't tried either: crystal meth, morphine, opium, E, downers - all washed down with alcohol. This in just a couple of days, I might add - I probably should be dead. Not even Iggy Pop could take the punishment I've had. How was this possible and do I have a future that involves me completing my PhD, or will I live out the rest of my days in a gutter or B and B. To explain this, I need to take you back to the beginning - it all started on the internet...
Procrastinating on the internet, I came across a site that said it made software that can mimic the physiological effects of popular drugs on the body through the medium of sound and its ability to alter delta and theta brain waves. I was sceptical, so I decided, in the interests of science like any good scientist would, to try it out. So, I downloaded it, installed it and looked at what it had to offer. It was like an Aladin's cave for all good drug dealers: crack, smack, alcohol, mephamphetamine and so on. 'Wow,' I thought, 'I think I'll try some opium first!' All I had to do to administer my dose was play the appropriately labelled sound file through my headphones. For those of you who have ever wondered what it feels like to take opium, this is what it sounds like...

WhooooooooooooohoooooohOOOOOO WhoooooooooooohOOOOOOWHoooooooooo - for 40 minutes

The opium didn't actually do anything for me, and I did get fed up of listening to the file after 5 minutes. Now, I know it's bad for your teeth and horribly addictive, but I seemed to lose all control at this point and went for some crystal meth...

WhoooHoo WhoooHoo WhooHoo Dateeet Dateeet WhoooHoo WhooHoo

I don't know what happened after that, but I ended up trying downers, some weird drug called hell and an hallucinogenic... I'd tell you what the software is called, but that would effectively make me a drug dealer and I'm probably in enough trouble as it is. Someone needs to speak out about this, and if I've ruined my career by becoming a junkie, I only hope that I can salvage my personal decorum by protecting others. I'll also be contacting the Daily Mail to begin my right-wing crusade shortly.

Okay, Rebel, Pm'd you. Really hope it works for you. Let us know how you get on (up)

Right, assuming it's been deleted or whatever, it has to be on your hard drive somewhere. It can't just have vanished in the sense that the file is just no longer there. Unless you've installed a lot of new software or saved some very big files since losing your file, the chances are really good that you can recover it because it won't have been overwritten. So, I've just had a think and a look and I have some very good, simple software that you can use, if you wish, to recover your file: EASEUS Data Recovery Wizard 5.0.1 (http://www.easeus.com/) Now, I'm going to upload it for you, give you the download address and then all you need to do is just download, install and run it - it's very straightforward to use and very effective (free to you, of course, and no expense spared). It's a small file, it won't take long and hopefully it'll do the trick. Will send you a pm when it's done.

I've found a new and productive way to exercise my necessary periods of procrastination and I thought I'd share it with everyone. Now I'm not Martin Lewis or anything, but I have found my voice as a self-righteous consumer and, in the process, reduced my cost of living quite significantly. So far, over the past week, I have reduced the cost of my internet broadband by 20 %, have got a months free internet access and free month's worth of calls for my mobile and a £3 gift voucher from Asda to buy a new meat feast pizza. It's so easy as well. All you need to do is when you're feeling bored and frustrated with your work, just ring up one of your service providers and randomly complain about something.

So, to get the free meat feast pizza, I was angry about having to transcribe, so I rang up my local Asda and said there was only 3 pieces of ham on my pizza - hardly a meat feast! So they apologised and sent me out a voucher.

To get a month's worth of free calls and internet access on my mobile, I was angry about having to redraft my questionnaire, so I rang up my service provider and said my mobile signal had been poor all week.

To get a 20% reduction in my cost my broadband, I was angry about having to rewrite my verbal probes, so I took it out on Virgin Media. I rang them up, said that I thought their service was slow and I was thinking of leaving them. So they offered me a 20% reduction in my monthly payments with no contract renewal. That cheered me up.

Anyway, I'll bet no-one can beat me on productive methods of procrastination! The moral of my off topics thread is, if you're going to procrastinate, save money doing it. :-)

I would go back in time to two years ago to right things that I did wrong. The serious stuff out the way, I'd then go back in time to one million years BC with a box of matches, lighter and a 2L bottle of Fanta. Doubtless everyone would be amazed at how I could magic fire, the deliciousness of fizzy pop and they'd probably make me a god, or at least a king. Of course, being a PhD student, I'm aware of the serious ethical implications my actions could impose since both Raquel Welch and Ursula Andress would want to marry me. Not a problem though as I could play spin the Fanta bottle with the two of them to randomly (therefore ethically) select one.

Thank you very much for the thoughtful birthday wishes everyone :-) No partying today as too much work getting ready for data collection next week, but I'll make up for it at some point.:-)