BHC, I would strongly suggest that you be pre-emptive. Get this right out in the open, every single detail. Otherwise, as someone else mentioned, this snake could anticipate your move, and then you won't have a leg to stand on. What a disgraceful situation. I can't stand deception and manipulation! Hence, why I keep my distance from departments and their politics. Keep us posted

Hi everyone. I had a tiff with my sup this morning re: time spent on the PhD. I'm going through something similar to what Bellaz mentioned regarding trying to have time for myself and not spend all my time worrying about the PhD. My sup asked me how much time I'm spending on research, and I explained that I'm trying to get a healthier balance going, and spending a few days a week doing other things that I enjoy rather than getting subsumed by my PhD work. Well, he wasn't happy about this, and told me that he didn't think I was totally committed to my work. You just can't win can you?! I was getting really miserable and depressed focusing all of my energies on my PhD, and now that I'm trying to make changes so I can have a better life, I'm under attack! What do you all think about this? Am I being negligent in spending time doing non-PhD stuff? I just can't spend all my time on the PhD anymore. I was in a terrible way when I was doing this, and decided enough's enough. I really don't think it's healthy. What do you all think?

Oh yes, all the time! In fact, I become so daunted by the pile I create that I actually end up doing nothing! I'll start reading something, and then realise that it's not actually connected to what I'm meant to be writing about right now, so I feel guilty for wasting time when I should be reading something that will tie in to my writing, and end up abandoning it half way. I get these panic moments when I realise I haven't read anything in a while. Sometimes I'll go weeks without reading anything, because maybe I'm working on a piece of writing. We all know how much time gets eaten up with that, and your research gets put on hold when you're writing because you don't want to confuse yourself any further. I'm not one of those people who can write a bit, read a bit, write a bit, etc.

Hey bellaz. This is a bit of a difficult question with so many factors involved. It can depend on how your project is going, how your personal life is fairing, your health, etc. etc. Assuming that all is going well, and your project is becoming more clear rather than more cryptic, I'd say yes, it's likely that you'll feel more comfortable and settled in what you're doing. I think the more material you are exposed to, the more confident you will become. Having said that, I guess some would say that the more material they read, the more terrified they become! You will probably find that as you become more and more settled, you will start to feel more at ease with the PhD, kind of like a relationship. The longer you are with the person, the more comfortable you become (or more irritated with them--depends on which way you look at it!)

Hehe, yup, that sure is smoker's reasoning I exhibited there My friend laughed at me when I told him I wasn't sure this was the right time to quit, said I would find any excuse under the sun to have another cigarette. I'm not sure what the theories are on finding the right time to quit. Am I using 'smoker's reasoning' yet again when I say it's not the right time because of the stress of writing up, or is it valid? Oh, what a web we weave! Do you see what I'm doing here--I'm actually trying to talk myself into having one! What a nasty little addiction (but oh so nice!)

I'm actually going through a stressful time right now trying to write up a piece. I'm not sure if this is the greatest time to quit. I find it such a comfort to take fag breaks while I'm writing. Anyone else smoke? Any suggestions???

Can anyone suggest some mega funny clips on YouTube? I need something to make me have a proper larf. I'm talking a real gutteral laugh where you can't catch your breath and tears start streaming down your face. I officially quit smoking on Monday (though I have unofficially had 3 cigarettes since) but I've been such a moody git since. I've actually resigned myself to not leaving the house until I'm in a better mood. I'm so out of control right now!!! God how I long for one puff, just one!!!!!!

I'd love to reply to your thread solidor, but I can't relate to you at all (that's a compliment btw) My god, completed first chapter, working on two papers for pub, a novel and working full-time. I'm gobsmacked. You must be one of those people with insane amounts of energy!

I honestly don't think it's a matter of hours worked if that's what's concerning you mokey. I've known people to put in 10hrs/day and be clueless, whilst others have messed about, slacked off, done very little research and have been okay. I think that, to a large extent, academia is about casting illusions. If you can convince other people through charisma confidence, and the ability to blag, you have the elixir it takes to get by. I have known academics who were complete frauds, but had the ability to spin a fine-looking web

Mokey, if it's any consolation, apparently most people waste shed loads of time in their first year, and don't get nearly as much accomplished as they set out to. In the second year, everything starts to kick into gear, as you may start teaching, or presenting at conferences, etc. I think the panic starts to kick in a bit. Most will describe the 2nd year of the PhD as the hardest, because many will have gone through upgrade, and then just feel as though they're drifting, not knowing what they're doing. Alot of people tend to completely lose motivation in their second year with a lack of deadlines. With the build-up to upgrade submission, you have a target, a set assignment. Well, after upgrade, it is likely that your only milestone left is final submission of your thesis.

Hi chris. It seems like the greatest hurdle most of us who undertake the PhD face is self belief. If you were to tell an outsider that you suffered from lack of self-esteem, and then told them in the same sentence that you were a PhD student, they wouldn't believe you. It's interesting, isn't it--that alot of us who do PhDs suffer from low self-esteem, yet we're undertaking one of the most, if not the most, arduous intellectual and personal challenges there is. I think much of what you're feeling is to do with fear, as is with most of us on here. We're afraid that we're just not up to the job, and that we'll be exposed and humiliated eventually. It sounds as though you're doing really well, and your sup must really respect you to ask such a thing. Wow!

I've noticed that I tend to move between extremes of feeling in my life. I'm either too uptight or too laxed, with no in-between. When I hit an apathetic period as I have in the last couple of months, I start to worry. It's a fear that it's going to hang around and I won't be able to get myself excited about anything anymore. I wish I was one of those people who just enjoyed the ride of life and didn't worry about anything. I meet these people and feel so envious of their ability to cope with anything that's thrown in their direction. The vision I had of the PhD before I started is completely different from the reality. I sometimes wish I hadn't done a PhD, then I would still have that romantic vision in my mind forever. I have a feeling I'm going to be a completely different person by the time I finish it--anyone else get this feeling?

Reading eddi's post about nervous exhaustion has really put things into perspective. I'm amazed every day at how many different feelings and emotions we undergo during the PhD. How is everyone feeling about their life/PhD/whatever is most important to them right now? Use this thread to vent your thoughts and emotions, whatever they may be! Me? Well, I seem to be going through an 'automaton' phase right now, not just with the PhD, with everything! It's almost like I've switched off and am just cruising along. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but I don't seem to care right now! I think it's some sort of coping mechanism. For some reason, it feels quite nice, because I've always worried about everything way too much, so it's a welcome break. How is everyone else out there feeling?

Oh, I left alcohol off the list of things to avoid, though apparently it wouldn't hurt to have a glass of wine or two

eddi, I had a chat with my mom this morning and asked her about her spell of nervous exhaustion and what helped her through. She told me that she had to take some serious time out after her episode. Apparently, she had wound herself up to such a state that she couldn't sleep at all, and was running herself ragged trying to do too much. She suggested natural remedies like camomile tea, valerian, Bach's rescue remedy, and to avoid (if possible) caffeine and stimulants for a while. Basically, your nerves are shot, and need time to heal. She told me it too her a good six weeks or so to feel settled again, but apparently it varies from person to person. Hope that helps?