Guitarman - I have just read your thread and you seem to have found the right words for how I'm feeling where I struggled to do so.

I have been discussing how I feel with a friend (who has no links to academia) and I below is a copy of what I have told her, its a bit of a waffle but somehow managed to get some feelings written down and it is easier to copy what I said than try and rewrite essentially the same thing.

I decided to go into further academic study as if I'm honest I had no idea what to do, a fairly "average" degree and felt it was the sort of opportunity you didn't turn down when offered it. I enjoyed the subject area at undergrad level but perhaps with hindsight failed to stop and think about what I actually wanted and whether it was the right decision for me and maybe went into it for some of the wrong reasons (though I feel I also had some right reasons namely enjoying and being genuinely interested in the subject). I am fortunate in that I am funded so have a small income.

However I have found it a constant uphill struggle and totally underestimated the level of commitment, dedication and work required and realise now I never had any real passion for it, just an interest which makes it even harder. I am finding myself losing more and more motivation, finding the pressures of work increasingly stressful and have been seriously questioning my personal motivations for doing the work. I am also finding what I am doing boring which I shouldn't given the nature of what I am doing and the freedom to take interest in whatever I want!! But I am bored and tired of reading, learning and analysing stuff - I am rapidly losing interest in a subject I once really enjoyed and struggle to find any inspiration to work.

I always knew the work was going to be really tough and that very few people have real job satisfaction and love what they do and even those people will still find their jobs stressful, collegues challenging at times and the real world out there is never going to be easy. I am unhappy but know if I can stick it out then I will open up many more opportunities for myself. But I also recognise that I am in danger of failing if I do not find ways of motivating myself and allow my unhappiness to govern my work output - already I have seen this happening which just makes me feel more depressed. That said there are days or very occasionally the odd week where I do enjoy what I am doing but somehow these always seem outweighed by the down days. When I look at the advantages of what I do (flexitime, great friends, freedom of the direction of my work, becoming "expert" at something etc. etc) and the fact I am being funded I feel like I would be mad to give it up and question why I am so unhappy but I just don't seem to be able to find the answers.

I have discussed how I feel with my supervisor and they have discussed options available to me - namely sticking at it but having to really up my game (as I said my work is already suffering as I just don't seem to have the motivation to work hard enough at it) or getting what qualifications I can (MSc) given the stage I am at but at the end of the day only I can make that decision. I have also discussed how I feel at great length with my Mum (has been impossible to hide the many many tears) and while I feel I have her support it is with the understanding that I don't give up on anything until I have a clear idea of where to go next and until I know that she feel I should keep going as if nothing else it gives me an income, experience and hopefully will continue to improve my future prospects. She feels very strongly that with the current economic climate I could find securing a job very difficult and could end up in a job where I find things equally tough or worse makes me feel even more miserable - atleast with what I'm doing now there are things I do enjoy and huge perks that I wouldn't have with any other job. I am inclined to agree wi

Pretty much as the title says really :(

Have never really felt passionate about what I am studying and more and more often now feel completely bored and miserable, totally lacking enthusiasm for it. I have no energy or motivation for it to the point that it is being reflected in my work and my supervisor has suggested that I will struggle to cope with the next few years and should consider converting to a masters (so far I have done just under a year).

But I feel like a complete failure by even thinking about giving up and there are plenty of things I like such as being responsible for my own time management, being able to take my own direction and having a great group of friends.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am letting everyone down and when I've discussed it with my parents get told I am mad to think about throwing the opportunity away when I only have another two years. Whats more I have no idea what I want to do if I do decide to convert at the end of the year.

Not sure what I'm hoping to achieve by writing and posting this except to see if I am alone or if anyone else can shed any advice or support as at the moment I have no idea who to turn to and am frequently coming home an emotional wreck :(

I am due to start a PhD in October, funded by EPSRC, but am totally confused by the funding side of things.

Uni have sent me very little info (arrived this am so can't phone until Tuesday), nothing from student finance, and have just listed the basic "offer of admission" which states the tuition fees and the estimated cost of living. I have not heard from ESPRC as the Studentship has already been awarded to uni (or atleast that is what I understand has happened).

My confusion is that I was told to expect a grant of around £12K a year over the duration of the PhD (3.5years). On the EPSRC the minimum stipends are listed for this year as £12,940 - which is about £3.5K more than uni's estimated cost of living. So do I receive this minimum stipend value or the sum the uni have stated and am I expected to pay for my tuition fees out of the stipend?

Obviously cost of living isn't cheap and so I want to start looking at my budget asap, especially as my car is due tax, insurance, full service and MOT within 3 weeks of the PhD start date!!! I have no idea whether I will have £9500 (uni "estimated cost of living" amount) or £12940 (minimum RPSRC stipend amount) to live off and it is quite a large difference!!

Help! This is scary enough as it is without worrying about money too!!

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I am due to start a PhD in October, funded by EPSRC, but am totally confused by the funding side of things.

Uni have sent me very little info (arrived this am so can't phone until Tuesday), nothing from student finance, and have just listed the basic "offer of admission" which states the tuition fees and the estimated cost of living. I have not heard from ESPRC as the Studentship has already been awarded to uni (or atleast that is what I understand has happened).

My confusion is that I was told to expect a grant of around £12K a year over the duration of the PhD (3.5years). On the EPSRC the minimum stipends are listed for this year as £12,940 - which is about £3.5K more than uni's estimated cost of living. So do I receive this minimum stipend value or the sum the uni have stated and am I expected to pay for my tuition fees out of the stipend?

Obviously cost of living isn't cheap and so I want to start looking at my budget asap, especially as my car is due tax, insurance, full service and MOT within 3 weeks of the PhD start date!!! I have no idea whether I will have £9500 (uni "estimated cost of living" amount) or £12940 (minimum RPSRC stipend amount) to live off and it is quite a large difference!!

Help! This is scary enough as it is without worrying about money too!!