Crikey, hope someone can help. I started my PhD at the end of October. I have two lovely supervisors. We have so far had 2 Zoom meetings. In the first one, one supervisor asked for a literature review. The other asked for a 10,000 word introduction.

We settled on the latter. Of course I found I could not just write 10,000 words, never mind a lit review. I am only starting! Also I have multiple caring responsibilities, an exhausting part (sometimes full) time job, and have been really ill several times with flu like infections (not Covid).

I explained all of this in the second meeting but it felt like I was trying to weasel out. I am not! I have been reading and making notes but not produced any proper words at all. Now I have two more meetings coming up and am apparently still expected to produce thousands of words. I have been ill again and had two long stints caring again. And have still been working in between.

My supervisors suggested taking leave of absence but I'm quite reluctant to do that as I worry that the student loan will stop.

My question is, is this sort of expectation normal - the PhD is arts based? Surely the start of a PhD is when you read in-depth, make notes, get your ideas bouncing. And then, eventually, you start writing? It's 3 years for heaven's sake!

Feel out on a limb (I have yet to have the space to move to where my course is which makes it worse). Would be very grateful for feedback.