Dear All,

I am very happy to say that all your answers have touched me really deeply...I just arrived to my office and the first thing I have done is to check the forum, I couldn't wait to see all your opinions....Even if you guys believe it or not, you have cheered me up much more than expected...It is a strange feeling to see the support given when it doesn't come from your friends or family...It kind of feel it more objective........


I am going to follow some of your advises, to start with. I am going to write down everything I can remember until now of things he has said, and of course I will continue writing down if he say something else...I have joined a couple of courses at uni about self-steem and assertiveness, hope they also help...I am also trying to build up again the relationship with my supervisor, but it is difficult, maybe I need a bit more time and confidence to do it...


You guys have made me smile this morning and I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone and hopefully for good I will keep you posted and I will let you know how it is going....

Thanks again and many kisses
:-)

Sorry Missspacey, I didn't answer the question about the other people opinion, it seems everyone thinks about him that he is proud and not nice, but some they either take it or some other they have complained to me but they don't want to get into troubles so they didn't even complained to my supervisor, one guy thinks it is normal, because he is "just" a master student....what can i say.......

Thanks a lot for both advises....I had thought about reporting him, but I think is going to put me so my pressure and stress that I am not sure I can cope with it....Besides, the place where I work is small and 90% men, I don't want the people to find out what happen and then being there uncomfortable, I am not that strong....Maybe if he bullies me again I might go for the legal way anyway.....He speaks in this bossy attitude to everyone that is not at his "level" that means, PhD, master students, etc...I can't be 100% sure why is so bad with me but I think it is because he tried to flirt with me at the beginning and I didn't pay attention to him or I didn't laugh at his bad jokes, so I think he just got pissed off and try to provoke me as a revenge....he is a very proud person....I don't have anything to apologise to him, and he has apologised to me it after the second argument we had, but he keeps coming around me like a fly and trying to make jokes still....About telling my supervisor everything, I was quite embarrassed to tell him about the sexual jokes and all these stuff, I just avoided telling that,  I just told him about the arguments but omitting these things....maybe it is a mistake and i should come again to him...i don't know... I find hard to take a decision, I don't know which one is the best, my supervisor is a nice person and looks sensitive but I just don't feel like having too much contact with him and I don't know why....probably because he didn't trust me at the beginning.... Sorry for all this, I just don't know what to do.......I am still confused....it has been too much thinking around it and i feel trapped....

I am in the end of my 1st year as a PhD. I started October 2007, I liked my group (6 people), my supervisors, the place, etc. After some time, there is one guy form my group (a post-doc) that is bossy and sexist and he was rude to me. I tried to sort out the things ( it is a bit difficult to explain the whole story so I'll try to be brief), it didn't work, my supervisor heard the 2 versions (mine and his) and for some reason he believed the other person.

Since then, i tried to avoid my supervisor and this guy as much as I could, but it became more and more difficult to concentrate in the work, I hated going to the office and being close to that person, or in the same labs, having to collaborate with him in experiments, etc.

The guy kept making my life a bit impossible and trying to wind me up all the time, I have to hear sexist comments, sexual jokes, bullying, etc.

The beginning of my work was basically training, so it is fine because you just have to do what you are being taught, but once I had to start becoming independent, everything turned upside down. I can't work, I can't read, I can't concentrate, I am stressed, I suffered in the past from anxiety and depression and panic attacks and now they are coming back...

Before the summer holidays, apparently my supervisor realised how this guy is and he came and apologised to me and told me he should had believed me, etc. All that sounds ideal, but for some reason I don't still feel comfortable with him, i try to avoid contact with him, and I am still in the same situation or worse.

It has been months now I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I can't work, read...and it is getting worse...I attended counselling, I am trying to do anything to sleep, gym, essential oils, I talk to my friends and boyfriend but it doesn't seem to get better...

I am desperate, I don't know what to do...I keep crying almost everyday and feel like I don't want to do my PhD anymore, besides that, all my experiments don't work and I don't get any result, and it is one year gone...

I hope somebody can give me some advise.......:-(