Yes its distracting when you feel like that, but its all infatuation at this point because you dont really know whats hes like.  Hes married, so forget him romantically, and if he was prone to mess around, would you want to be another one of his flings, mistresses - not the first and certainly not the last. You cant help fancying him, and I know a good looking lecturer where I work and his students are always getting crushes on him, I also know of some of his affairs!  Put your effort into your phd and work on impressing him professionally and give yourself slap, you dont want him to think you fancy him!!! Go out with your friends and see if you can source some other distractions.  Yea all the good looking men are married or gay huh :-( All the best

Now this is bad... but I just cant help it...  I've got a big crush on my dentist, normally I hate going to the dentist, like the next person, but now I'm quite happy to go, and I dont even notice the drilling and all the horrible things that are happening because I am aware of his hands touching my face - thats bad isnt it? Sorry its my guilty secret; although I did say to my husband I found it a bit disconcerting that he wasnt the normal old, stiff, frumpy fart I that I have become accustomed to  :$ Must go and check when my next app is :p

Had to write monday off as I had too many other things to sort out.  I'm currently doing my lit review, so my plan for the rest of the week is just to sit there at my desk everyday from 10-3 and do something, I've been so lapse that I'd settle for just getting back into the routine of working again :$

Cant say I have taken much notice of the stars, except a certain person's cravings for them has brought them to my attention :p  I dont even know how to send one, but I am actually going to send one, my first one, and I expect my last one to Walmiskipeasucker, for being such a gentleman when I was being a rat-bag - thanks hun xx

Hi Bug, I'll sign up as well.  I started in jan 09, so just coming up to my 2nd yr, although I did my 1st yr upgrade in sept. I could really do with being accountable at the moment, because I am doing so badly, I have had to admit defeat and change from full-time to part-time, as I'm self-funding and paying for ft fees when I was finding I could only do 20 hrs a week, did not make financial sense.  And life keeps getting in the way of my efforts, so the PhD is suffering, but I'm not giving up, but can see this taking me 6 years instead of 4 - still as long as I keep at it. So hopefully this will help me to be a bit more productive.

I'm 45, and very similar to stressed's post.  I'm happy that I am doing my phd later, as I feel that I have managed to do a bit of everything, I have lived in a few different counties, had a few career changes; if I didnt like something I would just move on and do something else or go somewhere else - probably a bit flippant, but then I didnt have any responsibilities or anyone to answer to. But had I had any guidance or input from my parents maybe I would of been a bit more constructive, but I look back and I'm glad I have experienced so many things - I did manage to do a degree and a masters in this time.  Conversely my husband started his business at 24 and has worked hard ever since, hardly any holidays, always lived in the same place, had big responsibilities, a duty of care to the staff he employs etc. What would I advise my eldest child to do? do well in A levels, get into a good uni, in a subject that will lead into a good career (looks like it will be chemistry, science etc), has designs on doing a phd, so again I would advice to do this soon after the degree/masters, but perhaps a short break to go abroad, hmm would not advice to do what I did, but then I was a bit of a rebel without a clue!!

I dont have any trouble relating to the younger research students where I study, I dont feel any them and us, but then I am always fascinated by people, by youth and the differences in people; then I dont go out and socialize with them unless its xmas drinks etc, time is limited so I tend to socialize with my little group of friends that have nothing to do with phd's. 

My supervisors are in their 50's & 60's, we are all very respectful of each other, I dont always do as they advise, which I probably would if I was younger, I tend to take on board what they say, research it and do what I think best (within reason) but always thank them for their comments as sometimes it opens up something else that is really useful.

Which is best, depends on what you want out of life, want the hot shot career, then start early - personally doing a phd now with 3 children, a job, is very tough, but I wouldnt change anything. Hope this makes sense had a child come off their bike in the middle of writing this, bloody nose and mouth :$

hmmm now cleverclogs you did say 'raw' charm, so perhaps your charm intelligence is no so high :-)

Oh sneaks, I bask in your beauty, and sit amongst the thorns as you are the rose, forgive my impertinence for I am not worthy...

And yes thank goodness were not on web cams you might think I was suffering from delusions :p

Because I have been told many times in different ways, you dont need to work you can marry into money, you got looks not brains, so I have been on a quest for a very long time to prove theres more to me than face value - I really hope that does not come across as conceited

Because I enjoy lecturing and a phd will help my career.

Because I want to be an expert in my area

Because I love to learn.

And yes, very shallow I will be sooo pleased to get my Dr title, and wear it, and change my cheque book, and ring up the school, drs, dentist, passport, the plumber, the lady down the road to let them know to please address me as Dr now, and friends a bit more respect from you now (if I ever get there, oh plodding on, I've got a long way to go)

Yes I agree with other posters, IQ measures such a small area of intelligence, that I dont pay an awlful lot of attention to it other than one is good at completing IQ tests in a time quota, rather like the 11+ tests some of our children do, and you can be trained to pass these tests. But intelligence covers so much more than this: emotional intelligence, musical, creative, spacial etc etc. It was Alfred Binet, psychologist, that first created IQ to identify children with special needs, so I think we can safely say that all of you out there with a high IQ dont need any help with your basic maths and english.

People often give me a strange look when I say I'm doing a phd, and I say, just to cover the awkward moment, yes I hide my intelligence well haha, then they all get back to talking about what little jonny is doing in the playground.  But for me personally its about tenacity and determination and the plodding on, definitely not intelligence (you may have noticed!!)

Also I was watching a program the other day 'how long is a piece of string' about quantum mechanics, quantum maths & physics, now that is fascinating and I cant get my head around that, and it appears to me that quantum physics would be a much harder subject to do in a phd than mine (even a degree).  Sorry not wanting to bring up the soft and hard subjects again - my subject is psychology.

And I was quite interested in cleverclogs point about bringing children up to questions things, I think its a lot to do with nature, but certainly nurture plays a big part, some children are naturally inquisitive and more confident about asking questions, but I do think it would be a good thing to encourage ones children to ask questions to people in authority, instead of the normal 'speak when spoken to' attitude - I shall start doing that, in fact I do in a lesser extent, and have a look at the book.

I agree with Jill Berry, I think it is important to point out that you cant have it all, you need to make compromises, be flexible, sometimes completely change route, and as Jill Berry put it, not to beat yourself up about it.  Yes, aim high, but be realistic. Perhaps you may not want children, and in that case it would be easier to rise to the top.  Maybe you want to stay at home and raise a family, or do both. Personally, I find if difficult to try and do everything, I'm trying to do my phd, I work 1-2 days a week, lecturing, I have 3 children, my husband works many hours so its down to me to sort everything out.  As a mother you are often made to feel guilty by society, guilty if you put your children in a nursery school all week and work, or guilty if you are a stay at home mum and dont go out to work. Although I am a mother and a wife, I also have my needs, and I would not be happy filling all my time looking after children and cleaning the house etc; but I would also not be happy if I felt my children were suffering as I was pursuing my career and fulfilling my potential - it does sadden me when I read from stressed's post, being left with the telephone and just wanting a mum that was there.  So I put my children first, I'm there to take them to school, pick them up, take them to their various activities, and there if their ill at home, do their homework with them etc; then when the children are at school I do my stuff, but its my stuff that suffers, not my children, I'm not too happy with the progress I'm making with my phd, which was really starting to get to me, but to put things into perspective, my children are happy and healthy, my husband and I have our health (and still solid), goodness what more could you want!!!! I have friends from both ends of the spectrum, stay at home housewives, and accomplished professionals, and bear witness to traumas (unfortunately) with children from the mums that arent there very often.  Its tough, and I dont want to make judgements as I can appreciate all angles, but I think its important to do what works for your family, whatever that is and not feel pressured. I think its tough for women that stay at home to look after the children, as society tends to view this as menial stuff, on bank accounts you have to be logged as unemployed, and put up with the comments 'oh you dont do anything then'. Sorry, this is an emotive subject, I have been rambling.....

Hi, I have just purchased the Kindle book reader from amazon for my husband, I did some research and this was supposed to be the best one on the market, had to ship from america though, not available here yet.  The next generation model 'kindle dx' is, as pointed out, bigger and more suited to academic needs. The screen is much easier on the eyes than a computer screen, and you can store 1000's of books etc; I think maybe the draw backs are that notes you make seem to all go into a main page for storage rather than on the document, although you can highlight the area on the page, so all your notes will be in one place - I would prefer to have my notes on the document, or at least at the end of it - but perhaps this will be an updated feature for the dx model.  Also I dont find the keys very responsive to touch, and quite small, so you wouldnt want to be making copious notes this way. But overall, what a great device, you can instantly purchase books etc, can send all your pdf's over, it bookmarks your last page, its light, can take it anywhere, one touch to go to next page, can change the font and size of text to suit - but will always love books, just maybe purchase those must have books for my collection, then buy the cheaper ebooks.

Hi Walminskipeas, point taken, apologies.... I am at a low at the moment and being very grumpy, I shall stay away until I find my positive self again:$

This is now getting pathetic (down)