Hugs are sent your way xxx

"You're screwed. I say this from being in a very similar position. Will any academic break ranks and stand up for you over their colleague? I realised that was never going to happen for me. I can only say that I am disgusted by what has happened.

See if you can get out of there. To another uni, another department. "

Thank you so much for letting me have your unreserved views. I could have written it myself :( I am so sad that you are in such a situation too. Mine has gone all the way and I have come to accept that the relationship will never change and no one would ever come to my aid.

Coping mechanisms -
1. I have had CBT - to try to be "an accepting" person rather than "a demanding person" - E.g. "It would be nice to have my PhD after years of hard work, but ..."
2. Several months of pyschodynamic psychotherapy - not cheap and if anyone ever told me I would be willing to pay 2 x £90 for two assessment sessions and then continue to spend £55 every week for therapy, I would not have believed it. BUT it saved my life.
3. Now I am back to CBT for trauma :(

Good friends, music and faith have helped. In a sense intangible support.

4. I like the fact that you have chosen to stay and finish. I am happy for you. I know it is possible.
5. Try to find some motivational audios - like "Awaken the gian in you" :). It
6. I used to go to the steam room, sauna and such TLC :)
I am not sure of what else to say. OK, look back at your past accomplishments and know that you are good and can do it.

Kindest regards

Hello all. I wondered if I was on the right forum :) Lovely new look. I have been in hiding for over a year while a PhD complaint I lodged has been on-going. Sadly people closed ranks and those who could speak kept silent while I developed serious traumatic reactions. Two stages of complaint on (over a whole year of doing no work) I am told to "do what I am asked to" by the bullies. The last leg is the council and then judicial review. I have considered all options including whistleblowing, my MP and so on. I am trying to see if I could transfer either to the US or SA or anywhere that would take me and not expect me to start again. Had I started again two years ago, I would have gotten somewhere. I have asked to be moved out to another discipline as my course is multidisciplinary, even temporarily, but no. I was made to wait. What can I do?

Wow, thank you all, I actually smiled FOUR times???

Thank you Bewildered. I think sometimes when everyone knows you are doing a PhD and you quit, its a little akward, especially when they have never known you to fail, but that is a silly reason to hang on.

I have a son in Uni and "I want him to think winners never quit" however your words are wise :) It is strength to know when to call it a day. I have an MBA and an MPH and only yesterday I read a bit from a book and it suggested asking yourself the 5 whys. So, I want a PhD because.... I want to make an impact in lives working with people,... creating evidenced based practice... write a book (and put the letters PhD after my name:)  but do I need a PhD to do most of these things NO! (except the letters of course) I agree that maybe the effort should be better utilised in other things. Thank youuuuu :)

It will be difficult to let go of that PhD dream, but not impossible. Thanks, I have managed to email the union person and there is hope :) and actually funny enough my management team want me to have an OH management referral. I think they want to focus on my health rather than the bullying that got me there and there is an agenda; BUT yes it will give me the chance to state the circumstances that led me here.

Thank you so much everyone for all your kindness. Sorry I have not been back for a while. I ended up much worse with anxiety and stress and one last threatening email while off sick resulted in chest pains, extremely high blood pressure and a suspected heart attack (but thankfully it was not) and hospital admission :(.

I went in a lovely happy healthy enthusiastic person with previous distinctions, and here I am on five medicines, limping, a bad hand and so on. I am so upset that I had put in so much and held this whole thing so close to my heart, enough to have been this affected. I think the most frightening thing to me is the ganging up and betrayal. Bad things happen when good people are afraid to speak up. I now know this is called 'mobbing' and common.

Please if anyone knows countries or Unis in the UK where it is easy to move your work to, please let me know. My work is cross-disciplinary and can fit into management of innovation or health services. I am ready to strip out the single year of my work that involved other people and move on if that is possible. I will be happy to self fund and even relocate for a year full time, if that is all it will take. One of my assignments with the therapist was to find options BUT it seemed like a dead-end. Most UK Unis clearly state that they only accept transfers if the supervisor is moving to that Uni.

I have started with making enquiries about formal complaints as I have nothing more to lose. However, my health is so much more important.

I am deeply touched and grateful.

Thank you very much indeed. It is very encouraging that all may not be lost.
Kindest regards

Thank you Bewildered and DrCorrine
Your kindness and wise words are appreciated. I am very unwell with stress about the problem. The Union seem to be keeping mute and from the little I have read, this is not unsual. I spoke to the local rep who was very kind and supportive. She put the case together and submitted to others I think the lawyer and secretary and neither responded.

I feel emotionally and physically damaged enough to want to leave the job but I wonder who would take me to continue and complete the PhD. They already keep making threats that I may have to start from the scratch. I do not mind leaving the job but cannot face starting the PhD afresh after all I have done.

Thanks again.

Thank you so much. I have tried other academics but as you guessed, they are not willing to get involved. The Head of Grad studies who initially supported my finding an external has now kept silent and allowed the bullying. Unless I go way higher up to the Dean, but I am even afraid of the consequences of that.

Past and present students are very supportive. I also tried Uni counselling. I had only two sessions but my view is similar to yours on that. I am currently having CBT through my GP surgery. That is helping with my deep sadness but not addressing how to get out of this problem.

I never knew bullying could be so bad at this stage in life and in University where truth and hard work should pay off. The worst part is that I suspect a smear campaign has started and has filtered even to the external person who was willing to take me on as they are no longer responsive.

I think they would want me to abandon my years of work, resign and drop out. I am not sure I have any options:-( I am sooo sad and feel helpless.

Never give up, I know how you feel. My suggestion is that you should think very carefully before you make any decisions. A lot depends on whether you have good supervisors, you are interested in your topic and so many other factors. I think answering "what nex"t is very important too, especially in this financial climate. You have only just started and you may feel better about it; sometimes we have ups and downs. I am in a position where I wish I had left three years ago!
Take care.

I have found myself in a really sticky position. I am on a Uni funded PhD and work at the same place. I started working on a topic and also applied for a grant as part of my job  and got it. This gave me access to data which I planned to use for my PhD.

My Head of Department and supervisor later suggested a change in topic to something that is of no interest to me and even the supervisor, with the hope of using me to get another grant. At the time, they made it appear that it was the only way forward but I did not know it was because of their greed. I However, I still had to work to complete the first grant. I tried "gently" to suggest sticking to my initial project and continued trying to work on both with overworking and negative health consequences. When I eventually spoke up, both individuals started picking on me. As I also work at the same Uni part time and the same supervisor is my line manager, she also started bullying meon the job.

About 6 months ago, I requested an external supervisor who understands my area of work and initially I was told by the Head of Graduate studies that I could. Once I found someone, I was written by my line manager/ supervisor that I cannot go and furthermore, I must not speak to the external anymore (what I call a gagging order). Things got worse.

Now three years on, I am being threatened that I must transfer under this supervisor with the new topic IF i want to continue to be sponsored. I do not mind leaving and self funding as relationships have gone really bad, but I feel very unfairly treated and wonder if it is even possible to transfer to another Uni. I have spent so much time on the first project and would not want to have to start afresh. There is now a full gang up against me and even the person who said I could find an external has kept quiet.

Please what can I do besides giving up completely? I am now becoming very depressed and now my BP has also shot up.