I'm going to be an absolute hypocrite here and play devil's advocate. I've always gone for smaller institutions where I'm more valued and respected. I've always had tons of support and good grades. But it HAS excluded me from the top research positions, and it HAS made me feel a bit left out. Intellectually I agree with o.stoll on every point. But you alone know how much academic snobbery there is in your targeted field - some subjects it is very high, in others it doesn't matter. In theory I'd put your success over the next three years as a top prority - but ONLY if that won't undermine your possible success over the next 30.

If it was a rigid black and white choice between kids and doctorate then I'd choose kids, but I've had to fight so hard for my education that I'm scared of what I'd be giving up. I also know I AM the best candidate for the project I'm going to do. But it feels so wrong and deceitful going into a project which I might have to suspend because of family commitments. I'm also really worried on trying to raise a family on a stipend and just my husband's salary. So what? If I do the PhD, I'm letting down my husband, his family, my own family... but if I have a baby, or take time out from my project for maternity leave, I'm letting down my supervisor, the university, and everyone who wrote me references saying I was reliable and hard working. I don't know what to do, and, quite frankly I want to cry.

Whoops, only just found this. I've read most of the discussion on this thread and I must admit it's the situation I'm sort of in. I'm not pregnant, but I'm married and my husband has waited four years for me to finish my BSc and Masters. I now have one year until I start my PhD, I was hoping to have a child before it started but I think I was being a bit naive. I can't bear to wait another 3 or 4 years for having children, and my husband definitely cannot. Not having children is starting to really hurt him.

Unfortunately, I really do think that if you have really specific goals in your life (and it sounds as though you do), it's far better to go for the top institution which is well-equipped and well respected than it is to choose a supervisor over the university. Personally, though, I'd do the opposite - but that's because I'm doing a PhD for my own personal goals and not for a glittering academic career. I think that if you can get into a top department, with good lecturers who have the same interests and goals as you, you should go for it. I wouldn't worry about their lack of experience in supervision - most of the time during a phd ANY supervisor will be too busy to help you anyway!!

I was just wondering if anyone out there has had a child either immediately before or during their phd. If so, how did you cope?

There IS a lot of negative energy on this thread!!! I'm beginning to wonder what I've done wrong...

Yeah I was 16 when I started my first degree, it was a really strange and confusing time for me. I had a lot of potential but also a lot of problems which I guess is why I'm nervous about trying for a PhD now. It was easy doing a marine biology MSc because it didn't really matter to me, but astrophys / astrobio is really important and I'm worried about not being good enough. Dropping out of astrophys at 16 was a huge big deal for me - a lot of people lost their respect for me and I don't want to let myself down again.

I'm still slightly confused about the whole application process - if I want to start my own project, do I just send a few unsolicited proposals to potential supervisors?? What if they just ignore me, or are too busy?

I'm expecting some aggressive replies to this, so my apologies for being a little bit backwards..

I'm 23. In my head I know I'm not that old, but I feel old and have family / financial commitments.

Seven years ago I dropped out of my undergrad degree in Astrophysics and a year later ended up studying environmental science because it seemed easy and was "something to do." I now have a Masters in what is basically marine biology but I can't get a job because the competition is so high and I don't really have any of the other skills needed. Nor do I have the enthusiasm for the kinds of work available.

I'm desperate to study astrophysics again and what I really want to do is a PhD in astrobiology. I don't know whether or not I'm qualified to apply, or where to start - I'm thinking of doing some OU courses but I really just want to start a PhD next October. I can't bear the thought of wasting any more time. I have good research ideas and know a lot about the subject but no relevant qualifications to back it up. I really do feel ready to do a PhD, I just don't know how badly my poor grades and lack of relevant qualifications will hold me back, and what I should be doing. If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it...