Hello,

I started my PhD 3 years ago on a project which was tightly integrated with industry. Unfortunately the industry partner refused to share any of their material with the researchers, outside of their R&D offices, which was a 3 hour train ride away. I traveled that distance almost every week to attend to a useless weekly meeting, losing one day every week and being exhausted the next day. It was an utterly dysfunctional project and this situation demotivated me to my bones.
On top of that I had to change supervisors (I have one daily supervisor and the group head supervises everyone) two times for reasons unrelated to me. As a result my PhD didn't progress as it should although I think I tried my best in this utterly NON-ideal situation.
I'm not a complainer, maybe I should be. I had a horrible meeting with my department head this week, he told me I had a problematic PhD, implying that it was my fault. I tried to point out the problems in the project with no luck. He was very critical, distant and alienating. I have to finish my PhD in one year, since my contact is up at the end of 2012. He was constantly calculating how much time I had left during the meeting. It was very spirit crushing.
My current daily supervisor is great. We're working together since January and I finally feel like I'm coming up with ideas and feel motivated. But I feel so hopeless sometimes, like I have no skills anymore. I just feel stupid.
PhD is hard by itself, I don't need a shit project and a rude supervisor to make it even worse... Am I just supposed to shut up and deal with it?