Hi all. I'm in some sort of dilemma. For the last 3yrs I've been in a wrong relationship (if i go into details this post will be too long). This has effected my work and i ended up depressed and with a 2:ii. My personal tutor for my BSc knew about some of my issues and wasn't very supportive so i ended up avoiding him for the rest of my bachelors.
My old tutor asked me what i want to do after my MSc and when i replied maybe a phd he was obviously taken back and although he didn't say ''you shouldn't'' he couldn't control his reaction and actually shook his head!
My marriage issues are still present, but i have started counseling and am trying to figure a way out. But my partner doesnt want to end the relationship and i depend on him financially. All this is adding pressure and the guilt sometimes gets too much.
This year for my MSc I've got a nice supervisor leading my project. My issues are personal but because they sometimes boil over into my work I'd like to find a way of letting him know so that hes aware of why i sometimes disappear.
Does this make sense? I know that he isn't my friend or a trained counselor so should I keep quiet and not tell him? Or would him knowing about my problems help him help me?
Any tips?

Hi there! It's an interesting one, what to tell your supervisor when you are having problems, and what to keep to yourself. I have been having a few health difficulties recently which have affected my work. My supervisor was aware that I have a particular disorder and had always said that I must tell her if I was having any problems. So I did, and she was extremely supportive and helpful. I then ended up talking to her more about my problems and then got stressed that I had crossed the line and that she really wasn't there to play counsellor. Another girl with the same supervisor as me had had similar health problems to myself and didn't let the supervisor know. This resulted in the sup getting pissed off about her not being in work, mithering her about work that hadn't been completed, and it is fair to say she got very pissed off with this student and it made the situation, and their relationship, much worse. I guess it is important to think about it from your supervisor's point of view. Personally, I think it is important to tell your supervisor if you are having problems that are affecting your work, and maybe mention briefly what they are, but to consider seeing someone else (uni counsellor perhaps?) if you really need to talk through things with someone. Good luck. KB.

I had some serious relationship and personal issues when I was doing my undergrad and they seriously affected my work.  But being a typical male I kept them all bottled up and didn't inform the uni that I was struggling and so when the sh*t hit the fan with some exams and stuff, it took me a while for the academics to accept my mitigating circumstances as it looked like I was just looking for an excuse. So my advice would be to tell your supervisor about any problems you are having sooner rather than later. You don't have to go into major details but just enough so that he knows that you do have some issues outside of work..