======= Date Modified 20 35 2010 14:35:55 =======
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Hi guys,

This is probably the wrong place to come for this kind of advice (sorry mods) but we've had hair and Twilight dilemmas so I'm hoping you won't mind. I started dating a guy a while ago. I liked him but I wasn't blown away and I didn't have much spare time so I ended up calling it a day. It took quite a while for him to 'let' me do this. He kept saying it could work so I'd give it another try but in the end I had to put my foot down.
Now comes the stupid part. After about a month of not seeing him he asked me out for a drink and I went. I do find him very attractive and I never really stopped liking him so I guess I just wanted to see if I'd been wrong about him. Well, you can see where this is going. It's a few weeks on now and I'm feeling exactly the same way I did the first time round. I need to end it once and for all but I know I've been horrible and indecisive and I don't know what to say to him....Any ideas?

I know I've been very stupid :$

Doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong - you had to know! I don't have much advice, maybe you could just say you need to get on with your PhD and don't have any time for romance at the mo? and be firm! Or you could make him assume its only a friendship by pointing out girls he might like and then telling him all about your amazing hunky lab partner ;-)

I would just say that you gave it a second chance and it isn't working out. You tried and you're sorry for any confusion or messing around. But it's the end. Actually he might take that slightly better than the first time in term of 'letting' it go as he's already had his second chance.

Best of luck.

P.S. there's always the 'off-topic' option for posting these things.

Thanks you two,

I will bite the bullet and do it tonight. I don't think he's going to be happy- he's normally a very nice guy but last time I tried to end it he asked if I was seeing someone else *rolls eyes*. But I barely have time to see my closest friends at the moment, never mind men I'm not sure about. Thanks Mathkitty I wasn't aware of the 'off-topic' thing- move it if you like mods.

Here goes nothing...

Done...I feel awful and quite sad, but better than letting things continue, right? :-(

well done - time for my true love - a massive box of chocolate! :$

Well done Keepcalm. I know it being the ditcher always makes you feel like a heartless ice lady (does me anyway), but you've done the right thing. And hey, how could you be fairer? You gave him chances, you heard him out and now you've been honest - model datee I'd say! :-)

Now as Sneaks says, get going to that box of cocoa-filled true love :p

It's always hard to let go of something. Clean cut is always the best though. It'll be hard but at least you know you gave it a chance and it wasn't going to go anywhere. Take it easy for a little while. Do things you enjoy :) Which can include chocolate!

Cheers all,

I had an early night and an M & S chocolate pud last night and am feeling much better today. Too busy to be sad for too long anyway - PhD is turning me into what the Daily Mail would call a 'career-focused ice queen' :p Onwards!