Hello all,
So...
I am a Phd researcher, and I have been hiding this in my chest, because I don't see how it would benefit me sharing it with other people at my department.
Basically, I think I may be attracted to my [married] supervisor [who has kids].
He is so attentionate and I am sure he must be very good husband. Yet, I constantly long for his time and attention, which he won't give for very long! :(
I have no plans of telling him (especially as he could not care less about me, except as a Phd under his supervision). However,I also feel immensely uncomfortable and nervous around him. I cannot be myself. I become this distant/cold/confused woman. I hate his gaze, it is intense and it makes me lose all my means.

Anyways,
how to deal with this? I want to be more natural and confident around him, but I cannot! Any experiences?

Thanks

That's a tough one because I really don't think there is much you can do! You can't help your feelings for someone.

I think you should just keep your distance as much as possible and try to keep this under wraps as best as you can. Try not to ever think about him if you don't have to otherwise you are just feeding into the fantasy.

What year are you in? If its your first year "together" you will get over it. Trust me. Professional "flames" die out rather quickly, especially when they are not fanned ;)

P.S. Thread of the year so far :D

I'm honestly surprised this situation doesn't happen more often. I was reading 'How to Get a PhD' recently (Phillips and Pugh) and at the bits where it talked about building up the relationship with your supervisor, I was starting to squirm a bit because it sounded borderline romantic in places! I think the contact and attention with supervisors at this level is completely different to what we've had before, and I do think boundaries can become blurred. I have a friend who supervises PhDs and adds them all on to her Facebook page, for example - thank goodness my supervisor doesn't want to do that!

I agree with the comments above - don't do anything to fan the flames, and your feelings will sort themselves out in time. One of these days he'll say something annoying and you'll realise he's just become a good but sometimes irritating boss :-)

I can't say I have any experience with this, but it sounds like others have addressed this more or less completely. I'm sure it will pass with time - just try not to do anything to encourage the feelings in the meantime!