I, Keep_Calm, do hereby solemenly promise to never fall in love again.

I mean it. Brief history: I split up with my boyfriend of two years about a year ago. We have stayed in touch and things are ok. I then met, and fell head over heels for, a man studying at another university overseas. He said it couldn't work because of the distance. Honestly, I probably would have trekked to Mars to see him, but I reluctantly agreed.
Slowly I started to 'forget' about him and have dated a few other people in that time. Then me and the aformentioned man start chatting over e-mail, just catching up. He mentions he has a girlfriend now. And all this time later, when I thought I was ok, it still felt like the cliched knife through the heart.Of course I then start wondering about her. Of course she will be prettier than me, and cleverer.
Seriously, who needs it? Yes I would have missed out on some fun times if I hadn't met him, but I'd also miss out on all the crippling self-doubt and sadness I have felt. And I get enough of that from my PhD. I think the world will be a much nicer place to inhabit as a detached, neutral observer. Watching all the funny humans doing their silly things, but not trying to be a part of it.

Who's with me?

This bloke is only telling you about his gf cos he's dead scared you have a bf! I'm a compulsive liar, so at that point I would have said "oh yes, I was married last year and we just bought our second yacht yesterday"

I think you just need to find the right man and all will click into place, or failing that dogs are quite good company and are less maintenance

I dunno Sneaks. I know he liked/ likes me, but then he seems to attract a lot of women so I don't think he was massively bothered about keeping something going, if that makes sense. I am actually seeing a doctor at the moment so at least I can try and one-up him on that, haha, although I think probably leaving the whole thing and not bothering trying to stay 'friends' would be best for my sanity.

I would love a dog or cat, but will be some time before I can get one, thanks to living in rented flats. Me and my sister always joke that I'll end up an old spinster with 10 cats. We have even named them all...

oh god no, don't stay friends, that's just annoying for both. It will also put off any men who are interested in you (and your swish dr!) Who wants an ex on the scene? it would be different if you shared an office or something, but sounds like the only contact you will have with him will be him gloating, which isn't fun.

I don't watch Coronation Street any more because when I see the characters Roy Cropper and Norris Cole, I'm worried that I'm looking into my future. In fact, I may as well just accept it and join a UFO spotting society, collect stamps, extend my collection of Clark's shoes, wear corduroys and, well, just buy a wax jacket, wellies and Robin Reliant.

Oh dear KC, men can be such a pain, but like Sneaks says, you just need to find the right man! I almost gave up a few years ago and then when I wasn't looking my dear partner walked into my life and everything changed. I think you have to go through the rubbish sometimes to help you realise when you do find mr right. I suffered abusive partner, then cheating partner, then the stupidly immature, only interested in one thing guy, gave up and then met my man! :)

Don't give up hope, you will find the right man, possibly a nice dr...! :) I agree though, lose contact with this guy, it is not good for the soul. x

get well rid of him girl!! Fair enough if you are staying friends in the hope that when he returns to where you are then you might give the relationship a go, but if that's not likely then no point beating yourself up about it. Take a break from guys, enjoy having time to yourself and who knows, you might just love it!
I remember doing an English project in my first year of school. It was about love (God knows why!!) and I did a short survey of everyone in my class to get their opinions on love. We were all 11/12 years old, so obviously we knew what we were talking about! lol! However, one very wise girl told me 'Love is a universal migrane'...I didn't really get it at the time but I remember it made all the adults laugh heartily, and now, ah now, I understand only too well!

(((((((((((KC)))))))))))))) step away from the man!!! Love is a complete pain in the butt! Ok, so I'm married lol, but boy did I have to kiss a lot of frogs in the process of finding 'the one'. Stick with your Dr, forget the other one - yes, it hurts, of course it does, but he may not even have a gf and be one of those that tries to make you feel jealous, you don't need that hon, you don't need to waste time and energy on a guy like that - save it for having fun and when the time is right the one will turn up ;-) (cliche ridden I know, but that's love for you!)

Thanks folks,

Honestly I've been ok about it for ages, until today. In fact I was just remarking to a friend recently how it was amazing that the very fact of time passing can make you forget about somebody when you thought you never would. So I mean, I'm ok. No tears! Just thinking that it's such a horrible, vulnerable position to be in and I'm not sure I want that again.
I think you're right about not contacting each other too, although we don't do it much. Sneaks, I'd never thought about it that way but we do just gloat at each other really. Not healthy. I remember a Sex and the City episode where one of them was in contact with her ex and was saying that she was over it and they weren't playing games. Miranda replied 'There's always a competition with an ex. It's called 'Who will die unhappy' :-) (I don't normally like Sex and the City FYI).
Anywho, My doctor friend is lovely but I shan't be laying my heart on a plate for anyone for a while (famous last words).