Hey everyone, we really haven't done anything fun on this forum in ages. I expect, in part, because we're all working very hard on our theses. Well, I've come up with an idea for a thread. We narrate the story of a PhD student, from getting accepted to completion. For those of us that have passed, those of use that are at an advanced stage and nearing completion and even those of us in our first and second years, we live live it (for better or for worse). Ergo, we're better qualified than anyone to tell the story of the PhD student.
I'll start off the the story and we can continue it until, possibly, completion: viva success! Or not...

"Well I think it's fascinating," said Johnny.
"No, the fact is, you want to be a student forever," countered Sally.
Johnny thought deeply about Sally's hurtful accusation and said, "Erm, I don't think so. You're not a really a student anyway. You're a postgraduate student, and there is a very big difference. Besides, I want to make a big contribution to my field, and I want to continue to do so as a researcher. I want to be an academic and to do that you have to gain a PhD."
"Ha ha ha," laughed Sally, "gerra job! Anyway, remind me what you're going to be, erm, a student in again?"
Johnny sighed, and then sighed again.
"I've submitted a research proposal concerned with the assessment of the contribution of the water tap to modern western culture," said Johnny.
"Ha ha ha," chortled Sally.
"It's actually a very serious matter. You do realise that modern standards of domestic hygiene are only possible because of water tapes? The design has also changed considerably over the years from standard hot and cold taps to precise mixer taps? Throughout modern history, water taps have been used as an expression or wealth and class, even sexuality in some cases. Indeed, I would go so far as to say-"
"Shut up now. Nobody is interested in taps except for you. Anyway, it's late and I have work tomorrow. Anyway, when will you find out of you've got a place?" interrupted Sally.
"Hopefully tomorrow. It's a GTA, like I've told you, and there's a lot of competition for the places this year. You know? With no jobs for graduates and all that?" said Johnny.
"Well, I've got my fingers crossed for you. I hope you get good news. I'll see you later," said Sally as she headed out of the front door of Johnny's.
"Yeah, thanks, Sal. Bye," said Johnny.
Later that night, Johnny laid awake in bed, unable to sleep, the anxiety of whether or not his proposal would be successful playing on his mind. He thought about the contribution he could make to human knowledge. The truth was, Johnny thought, nobody has ever used a cross-sectional interview and survey-based approach to assessing the cultural impact of the water tap in the UK.
"The design is water tight!" he chortled aloud.

To be continued...

As it normally happens, the results were not out for another two weeks. John was desperate, going around in the living room, biting his nails, sleeping poorly. In an obsessive fashion he was checking his e mail and mobile constantly.
" Sally, I cannot take this anticipation anymore! I need an answer, even if it is a negative one. Then I can get on with my life."

Sally looked at him with pity. She simply could not understand why his obsession with that filthy life style.  Why did he quit his previous job? Why couldn't he just get a normal job and work normal hours and earn decent money? She didn't say a word, although she was seriously concerned about his mental well being. He looked pale and exhausted.

Johny had spent this last weeks in a black hole. From the little experience he had in doing research he absolutely loved it. He loved the struggle, the challenge, the long hours in the library but most of all he loved the "analyses of the results" part. He could work for days in absolute silence with very little interaction with other human beings. Suddenly in front of his surprised eyes, numbers were revealing patterns and trends of domestic water use in the exact desirable temperature! He could provide all future designers with the new unexplored knowledge of the effect of behavioural patterns of different socioeconomic groups on mixed water tapes!

He wanted this PhD badly. He didn't care what other people were saying. Some PhD students he met in the school had a very suspicious smile shaped on their faces. "Ooh, you wanna start a PhD! Good luck!" He even ignored the screams heard from the PhD room in the basement of the school and the various rants in the PhDforum. He desperately needed the scholarship, he had very little money in the bank and his family were totally unable to provide for him. He already had the experience if working during his masters and he almost died from exhaustion. He didn't have a spare moment to go for a walk in the park. let alone meet friends. If he had a spare moment he would take it to sleep. How would he support himself during a PhD?

" Oh Johny" said Sally. Johny quickly came back to reality. " I just want you to be happy! Do you really think that spending 4 years of your life to write something no one will ever read would make you happy? Let alone that the world will end at 2012 and you will not even have time to complete?".

Johny and Sally often played these silly games. They were clearly picturing the end of the world, what exactly were they doing at that precise moment, where a giant nuclear mushroom was approaching. Or the following day, when they were the only survivors. They were fascinated by this thought. " You will be in a tiny basement in Streatham with another 5 people you hardly know- you couldn't' afford anything else-. You work on your computer (offline), food is rotting around your desk, you are trying to figure out references or what is wrong with SPSS THIS time, when BANG! you cross eternity!"

They ordered some pop corn and sat down in the middle row. Johny couldn't even focus on that stupid romantic comedy, he only came along to please Sally. He felt guilty, that he was neglecting her somewhat with all the things he had in his mind. She was smiling peacefully, her face was only lit by the changing images of the huge screen.

Next morning he crawled out of bed, turned the computer on, and made some coffee. He walked with the hot mug towards his computer. There he was, checking the emails, facebook, the forum. Suddenly, BANG! he received a rather formal e mail from his prospective supervisor. " Congratulations. You were accepted in the PhD. The scholarship is 13.333,3 annually for three years. Meet me later in my office"

Johny thought it was a dream! He was jumping up and down on his bed. He danced a tango with his laptop. He mopped the floor. He washed the dishes. He had a shower. He called his friends. He jumped some more up and down on hi

Johny got in the PhD program. His burning inner desire to understand why tap water are important for modern civilizations was coming tomorrow. This tap water research is not just tap water research it is a tap that fills the knowledge tank of human knowledge.

Ah the contributions he is making. What a wonderful life.

And here comes 2012. Suddenly, there is dark reality looming over human kind. The world is going to end by Dec 31, 2012. It has been found out that some aliens have poisoned the water supplies of earth. Poison is of the sort that when a contaminated water comes in contact with metal used in potable water plumbing system it creates a strange chemical. Drinking this type of water converts a human being into a pig.

Johnny thinks is this his destiny, getting a phd in tap water and 2012 the world at the brink of disaster? what role destiny wants him to play? these thoughts are driving Jhony mad?