Bob Dylan's - It Aint Me, Babe, re-written by a woeful grad student

Go away from my desktop
Leave at your own chosen speed
I'm not the one you want, Prof
I'm not the one you need

You say you're looking for a grad
Who's never weak but always strong
Who will run your tests constantly
And publish each time you call

Someone to open that jammed freezer door
But it aint me Prof
Non, no, no, it aint me
It aint me you're looking for, Prof

Go melt back in the night Prof
Everyone inside is on facebook
There's no one in here working
And anyway, it's 5 o'clock

You say you're looking for a grad
Who'll promise never to part
Someone to work for years for you
With no pay but great heart

Someone who'd die for research and more
But it aint me Prof
No, no, no, it aint me
It aint me you're looking for, Prof

Excellent song-writing skills, Teek! You've created the living embodiment of a contradiction in terms: productive use of procrastination. I'll never get that song out of my head now.

Ah Wally, I wondered if that might lure you out of hibernation! Feel free to respond with another ditty if you feel the need for a little procrastination of your own ;-)

I see you've thrown down the gauntlet. To paraphrase Arnie (1984, 1991, 2003): I'll be back. I'll adapt Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights into a style more appropriate for PhD students...

Oh Wally, you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to that! That song is legendary in my house (picture 20 members of a family breaking into an impromptu performance at a Christmas party).

Ha ha, fabulous Teek :-) Now waiting with baited breath for Wally's offering - may have to hang around a bit - procrastinating.... me.... never :p

Oh yay!! Something fun on the forum, feels like it's been ages!!

I'm utter chuff at this kind of thing though, so I shall sit back patiently and wait for the song-off to get into the swing of things!! How fun! :-) (yes, my life truly is this sad...)

I'm never trying to re-write Wuthering Heights for PhD students again, but here's the re-interpretation...Withering Academic Heights

In my dingy room, coffee stains,
We'd roll and fall in the laptop screen,
I had a temper, you're my PhD,
Too hard, too needy
When I needed to possess you, I hated you, I still do too.

Bad dreams in the night,
They told me I was going to lose the fight,
Leave behind my withering, withering,
Withering academic heights.

PhD, it's me, Teek, I'm going home,
I'm getting so old, I'll escape out of the office window
PhD, it's me, Teek, I'm going home,
I'm getting so old, I'll escape out of the office window.

Oh it gets so dark, it gets so lonely,
On the unfinished side of you,
I pine a lot, I want to finish a lot,
Falls through with you,
I'm going home now, cruel PhD,
My once dream, my daily disaster.

Too long I roam the net in the night,
I'm going home, I'll never put it right,
I'm going home to withering, withering,
Withering academic heights.

PhD, it's me, Teek, I'm going home,
I'm getting so old, I'll escape out of the office window
PhD, it's me, Teek, I'm going home,
I'm getting so old, I'll escape out of the office window.

Ooh let me have it, let me have my viva and run away,
Ooh let me have it, let me have my viva and run away.

PhD, it's me, Teek, I'm going home,
I'm getting so old, I'll escape out of the office window
PhD, it's me, Teek, I'm going home,
I'm getting so old, I'll escape out of the office window.
I'm getting so old.

Oh Wally, I bow to your songwriting skills, I knew you wouldn't let me down ;-)
I may actually print this out and pin it up on my office wall to make me giggle my way through the depression!

Unfortunately I've found that this form of procrastination is addictive, I'm currently re-working No Doubt's - Just A Girl, when really I should be writing the methodology for chapter 5. Oops.

Hell, who am I kidding? I've continued procrastinating. Here's, Just A Grad.....

Take this undergrad gown with it’s lies
I'm exposed
And it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know
Exactly what this means
This viva makes me
Want to kick and scream
'Cause I'm just a grad, little 'ol me
And my committee are a woeful sight
I'm just a grad, all submissive and meek
So don't let me have any rights

Oh...I've had it up to here!
The moment, that I have a social life
I feel I’m betraying
My academic “wife”
I can't do the revisions, sup two asked for
All those untracked changes
Sneaks just abhors!

'Cause we’re just grads, we'd rather not be
When they don't pay a living wage
Oh we’re just grads
The almost-30 freaks
While employed friends sit and stare
With wide eyes

I'm just a grad,
Take a good look at me
Just your pale depressed prototype

Oh...I've had it up to here!
Oh...am I making myself clear?
I'm just a grad
I'm just a grad in the lab...
That's all that you'll let me be
I'm just a grad, living in captivity
Prof’s rule of thumb
Makes me worry some

I'm just a grad, what's my destiny?
My PhD is just making me dumb
I'm just a grad, my apologies
I’m just a drain on all your taxes
I'm just a grad, lucky me
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison

Oh...I've had it up to!
Oh...I've had it up to!!
Oh...I've had it up to here!

Wow, Teek, I think you've written a power ballad there! I'll be back on this thread tomorrow with a reinterpretation of M and M's the Real Slim Slim Shady called This PhD's Really Shady - Please write up, please write up.

These are brilliant! I would join in, but I'm in an active phase at the moment: going away doing stuff for two days tomorrow, then decorating (hopefully) at the weekend. Not sure if I'd ever top 'Just a Grad' anyhow...

Lol, Teek and Wally, way to go, but seriously, fun (aka procrastination) time' s over, now get back to work ;-)!

I bow to your greatness!!!! These could be tracks for the PhD band that was mentioned so many moons ago :-)

Ah... the almost 30 freaks! love it!!

Good work guys!! don't forget, these don't go in the thesis (but how wonderful if they did!)

Eagerly awaiting This PhD is Shady now.. :)