I love anonymity - it means that stupidity can be excused and personalities expressed. I also note, with disappointment and concern, that it has been quite some time since we had had an amusing off-topic. So, I have a suggestion. How about we start a thread where we can list and describe some of the most silly things we have done, either in the past or of late. I realise that this could be a risky because we are some of the brightest brains (minus me) and the future of our country. Frequenters of this thread doubtless include movers and shakers, the future John Majors. But it could still be fun to participate and make some of us chuckle - and you can be selective in what you choose to admit to, or just say something like..."well, I had a friend of a friend, who..."

Here's my current contribution - it happened about 6 months ago.

Giving to Gordon

When you own a mobile phone and laptop with internet access, the possibilities are endless and the whole world is at your finger tips. When you're doing a PhD, you can get frustrated at the lack of progress you're making and you want to effect change. That was the conclusion I came to at about 10:45 pm one evening, after drinking several bottles of 2.6% abv Asda own-brand French Larger. I meant no malice, I just wanted to help, felt I could help - I had feedback to give.
Reading the broad sheet papers online, I noted that Gordon Brown was receiving a terrible press and that he was having great difficulty trying to relate to us, the public. I looked at some of his videos online - and yes, I thought, that smile just isn't natural and he looks maniacal. I'm not much of a PR man (though I have a friend who studied it at uni, couldn't get a job and is now a policeman), but, in my slightly inebriated state, I thought 'yes', I know what to do, and I can help! There's not a moment to waste, better make haste, I thought. Walmsinki to the rescue.
It's surprisingly easy, when you're a PhD researcher, to find the number for Downing Street - you just use Google. For some reason, I half expected to ring the number and he'd answer - then I'd give him free advice on style and poise. No such luck. A snooty and harried-sounding woman answered...couldn't have been Sarag Brown, I thought, as she's always smiling and happy.
"Hello, I'd like to speak to Gordon Brown, please."
"You need to dial this number" she said.
"Oh, okay, thanks"
Thinking about how crap his secretary was, I dialled it only to find a pre-recorded message saying the number was no longer in use. I was furious and on my fifth bottle. So, I called the lady back...
"Hello, I called up earlier about speaking to Gordon Brown - that number you gave me doesn't work."
"Well, that's the only number I have for him. You'll have to contact him by e-mail."
"Can you give me that please?"
"You'll find it on the website," she responded.
I sent him an e-mailing urging him to contact me. No response yet :-(

Wally that's a story of civic engagement! Rise, public, rise!

He doesn't know what he's missing Wally, with your online charisma you'd sort the man's image in no time! I evidently need to drink more lager, I feel that I'm far too restrained and dull these days :-( that said, you sound rather entertaining when drunk, whereas I suspect I'm just a bit of a tit.

I think I've either suppressed my most shameful memories, or simply convinced myself that they were a good idea. I do suffer from foot-in-mouth disease though, recently I berated the dean of my faculty at our work party, telling him "God, I'm so glad I'm not married to YOU!" ....... erm, quite. This must be why I'm so popular around the department.....
(in fairness, he was being an utter chauvinist at that moment)

A lot of my friends have had babies recently and for some reason i didn't learn the first time, I have done this with AT LEAST 5 of my friends. the conversation goes something like...

Husband: "sarah went into labour last night and we have a gorgeous baby boy/girl"

Me "that's great - everything go ok?"

Husband "yep, all fingers and toes accounted for, although she has my big nose"

Me "well at least he/she isn't ginger - can you imagine THAT!?"

Husband ".......erm......well.....erm....he/she has actually got a firey head of hair"

Me: :$

Sneaks - at least 5? Are you magnetically drawn to ginger-gene harbouring people? That's quite a ratio!

Babies are a mine field. I always manage a show of enthusiasm and the polite questions about well being but after that I'm stumped. The miracle of life has been achieved, nothing went wrong - what more is there to say really?

it does seem that way, all my friends have had ginger kids, maybe there's something in the water?

Ah, your Gordon Brown story reminded me of what we did after the 1992 elections ... Once it became apparent that the tories had, yet again, won, my then boyfriend (now husband) decided it was his civic duty to try and do something about it. Well, as the Queen is the head of state, there was only one thing to do. He phoned directory enquiries and asked for the phone number for Elizabeth Windsor, Buckingham Palace. Amazingly he was given a number. A woman answered - sadly not the Queen. But he left a message for her, asking her to please do something and not let the tories in again for another 5 years. The woman promised to pass the message on and then the rest of us (4 or 5 not exactly sober students) repeated the phone call. Sadly the Queen didn't act on our advice. :-(

Hiya, I have a story, it's something I really cringe about and still can't believe I did even though it was 8 years ago now. While working as a costume person I was sourcing costumes for a pop video, had met the stylist a couple of times, and we'd got pretty friendly in a girly chatty kind of way and I realy liked her - she was talking about her new husband. So next time I saw her I saw that she had, what seemed, very much, to me to be, a baby bumped; I goes 'WOW Congratulations! You're pregnant, that's amazing'; she goes 'I'm not actually'. Needless to say the conversation dried up and she never contacted me again. I will NEVER do that again, and I reeeaaaally don't know how that came out of my mouth...

Obviously I have too much time on my hands - but am taking a break.

Years ago there used to be a club near me which had women jelly-wrestling, which outraged my feminist consciousness no end. So one night, after I'd been at a Women's Studies conference all day, then had a few with a friend, we decided to go and graffiti this club. Which we did. But we were too - erm, 'silly' to run off sensibly after we'd finished, instead we stood admiring our handiwork, until some boofy blokes came out and nabbed us. To make matters worse we were right across the road from a police station, so were hauled over there, to make our excuses and thankfully not be charged and arrested...

...silly, but am still quite proud of what we did!;-)