Hello everybody, I hope you've all had a good Christmas, as I did.

I have, today, been gifted almost my own body weight in chocolate by my mother (including certain items that I swear I am genetically programmed to stuff into my face with crazy, frenzied fervour), I need to find a solution to the calorific time bomb which is lying in wait behind my sofa. I have stuffed myself silly for 2, going on 4, days (I have been reliant on either festive fare or Chinese takeaway for at least 5 days), and need to keep to my resolution to loose weight: I am determined that this post Crimb period will break with tradition and I will not spend it systematically working my way through this collection of lethal, but delectable morsels donated by my mother (even though I asked her not to, no, no I do not need 6 tons of chocolate in order to make it through January).

So, I have choices, and have devised a questionnaire which I am hoping will help me find a solution. I realise number two sounds like the perfect and most economically sensible solution, but it will require nerves of steel - one party is in md - Jan - and I'm just not sure I have the strength. I will very much appreciate any responses you make:

If I get given chocolate that I don't feel like eating at the time I put it in a drawer for when I really do want/need chocolate. I'm a bit of a chocoholic sometimes and that works for me - out of sight out of mind!

Hmm, having looked at the categorical choices given in your question, I think you should re-gift it - it makes good financial sense. Afterall, no offence to the homeless man, but he might be a diabetic, he might have no teeth (or he may do but not after eating all the chocolates!), he could sell it for drugs or he may be mugged lugging all the chocolates about. You can't chuck them in the bin because all the packaging will need to be separated out into paper and plastic and the chocolates may be composed of chemicals that do not break down safely in the environment, so you could end up being fined by your evil council for 'elf and safety...sorry, that's the Daily Mail in me. And Eska, I know for a fact that chocolates cannot be locked up securely in a safe - you know you'll end up eating them in the end - I know I would anyway (even if I have to get back into the safe using a blow torch)!

======= Date Modified 27 Dec 2009 22:13:56 =======
Thank you for the feedback Natassia, and that is sound, sensible advice. However, historically, I have zero self control around chocolate and just the knowledge that choc is in the house has previously eroded all will power. Although, yes, ideally, keeping a stash behind the sofa - there is no drawer in my flat big enough to hold this booty - would allow me to appreciate the gift, while saving me some money. But I just don't feel confident about doing that... I really admire your self control!

Just read your post Wally, I can relate to the blow torch thing! Not sure I can hang onto them until Jan either. I may take them to the venues well in advance...

======= Date Modified 27 Dec 2009 22:34:20 =======
Eska, pleeease don't throw them in the bin! That would be a disaster!!! What have those poor little innocent chocs ever done to you?

I think you should stuff your face with them, then you'll feel sooo sick and chunder everywhere, so much so, that you'll NEVER want to eat another chocolate again.

Sorted. :-)


p.s I voted for the nice homeless bloke outside Tescos.

I think the only reason it works is that I put it in my makeup drawer - not somewhere linked to food so for some strange reason I'm less likely to eat it when its there than when its in the kitchen - try it and see!

I'm also for regifting. The homeless bloke may not want your charity - if he's to be given anything, he might well appreciate a proper meal, rather than chocolates someone doesn't want. So, give them as an early pressie I reckon.

I see what you mean about the homeless bloke, he may not appreciate having to lug around my plentiful supply of chocs, or appreciate the wierd sugar rush and stomach experienced on gobbling half a ton of chocs in one go.

hmm...not sure....if I was really hungry, I don't think I would be picky about what I get to eat. Personally, I think receiving a load of chocolate would be an awesome treat that I wouldn't normally buy for myself because it would be cheaper to spend any money I get on a proper meal.
Eska, I think you should throw in a turkey too. That way we'll all be happy. Oh, but then again, the homeless man might complain that you forgot the two veg and roasties.

Damn f*cking homeless man! Always f*cking complaining!

HHmmmmmm.... I think I'll ask the homeless man if he wants the chocs, and give him a box if he does.

We have an unofficial agreement on our floor of the building at work whereby if anyone has leftover chocs they don't want (or leftover food/cakes from conferences/meetings etc) then it gets left on the table in our kitchen/eating area with a 'please eat me' sticker on it! Works quite nicely and makes for a good atmosphere! KB

sort out the chocs first. look at the eat by dates and sort them in order of that date. This should spread them out a bit and give you several piles in month order :-) and you will know how long the scoffing will last. divide the piles into your favourites and the rest (don't worry, chocs don't mind). You will now have several piles I should think, most chocs will last until April at least! Now, have a choc after all your efforts :$ put them in plastic bags, store them somewhere not too hot not too cold, and you can now eat each bag during its appropriate month and need, sometimes you need any choc, sometimes you need something special. If you are feeling generous, you could take a few into uni where they will disappear as quickly as the snow. -After that I think I will go and look at my own choc mountain, or shall I go for the crisp mountain instead.... I need something whilst writing

I went for re-gifting. Alternatively sharing with fellow PhDers is a good one...perhaps send to the PGF team as a thank-you?

======= Date Modified 28 Dec 2009 16:39:29 =======
I rang a Children's home yesterday to see if they would accept sealed boxes of chocolates, sweets and biscuits but no-one answered. I then heard of someone with special needs who doesn't really have anyone and so I passed the lot on to them. It was nice to make someone's Christmas, albeit a little late!

Mine is a boased (unbiased?) answer. Donate it.

I *hate* chocolates and anything sweet with a venom deep enough to pierce metal. (clearly I should join the dramatics society)

I am in my country of origin now for 10 days, back to good ol London on Sunday. Anyway, folk in this country live for sweets. That's what they make at home, buy from shops, stash their fridges with. That's what they wash down their dinners with. Every lane has a sweet shop.

So, for my b'day this week, I announced that sweets were out of the question. My aunt made a face which looked so deeply hurt that I wanted to hug her. I have consented to a tiny black forest cake because there are 6 teenage counsins in the picture who will lie down on the floor and cry if there's nothing sweet.

I hate chocos. I hate sweets. In fact, the best way to torture me is to say "PhD bug, imagine a chcolate fountain near you, and you biting on a bar of whatever it is choc".

I'd rather eat my own (or even someone else's) toenails.

Vent over. :-)