Hello!

I've just pulled out of a student house for next year.

As a result, Im expected to find a replacement, and as they were too busy, I should do all the searching. It was implied that as I am not busy, I have the time to do all the searching. She also said its common practice to find a replacement!! She also highlighted my reasons, claiming they were strange.

I got really annoyed with the assumption that as Im not busy (Im a phd student). I also found the common practice thing about replacement was said in a condesending way.I sent an email stating that I spoke with friends of mine (landlords, tenants etc) that completely refuted it. I also pointed out that my reasons are my own, and I dont appreciate having them questioned. To balance my email,I agreed to help out with finding a replacement, although I wont be doing the most of it.

From my email, I've just received an email stating ive misinterpreted her and she basically doesnt want anything more to do with me and doesnt want me helping out with finding a new housemate for them.

What do you guys think of this?

Sounds like you got what you want. Calm down!

Understandable to want a rant.

But also sounds like you've gotten what you want out of the situation so that's ok.

If you don't want anything more to do with the people you are communicating with then it's all good, no?

Bit frustrating to have it end that way, but hey ho.

sounds like you made the absolutely the right decision in deciding not to live with them! It could've been much worse if you were actually living with this person. Try to put it out of your mind and look forward to the new house and new housemates i presume?

Having to live with housemates you dont get on with is a real nightmare so its good you have found out beforehand what they are like!
Good luck finding somewhere new

Hiya!

Thanks for your responses. I have subsequently signed a contract with another group of students who seem to be fab people.

Ok, I have got what I wanted. I ultimately went along with my instinicts that I would end up killing this particular person. It does hurt a bit though having someone completely throw back my help, but its totally there loss I guess. I think it illuminates the type of people they are to-and that moving in with them is definitely not a good idea. I guess I cant have it both ways to-I cant be friends with everyone!

The way I see it is that by pulling out now, its less painful and less stressful, compared to if I pulled out during next year! I genuinuely hope they find a new housemate, but I don't like the feeling of being made to feel guilty because its not for me.

Would appreciate more insightful comments!

Why should you feel guilty, you need to do whats best for you, this person is not even a friend and you don't know them (I guess?). It makes sense to go along with any gut feelings you have. Having an unhappy/stressful home environment is not going to help your work in any way what so ever!

I think it was more than nice of you to offer to help find a replacement, most people wouldn't have bothered.

Nope, I wouldn't classify her a friend, such a fellow PhD student in one of my departments. Fortantely, my office is located in my other department so I won't have to face her everyday. The other guy whos moving in with her, I don't know at all.

Result, no?