I only have 10 months to go and I'm not sure if I can continue. I'm not sleeping, my heart is racing and I'm feeling on the verge of tears all the time. When I say to folk - mainly family and friends that I'm having a tough time and I'm not sure it's worth me feeling this unhappy they all tell me 'but you will regret it' or 'you can't quit now, you've come so far'.
I don't know if it's because I've had no supervisor for a couple of months due to summer break. I'm also going away on holiday next week for 3 weeks, which I'm almost tripping myself up trying to get there, and I think I'm having anxiety about being away from my desk. Jezz I don't know, I just don't feel right in myself. I've been up since 5.00am and its now early hours of the following day but I'm just tossing and turning. I don't see my supervisor till October now - 3 months since I last saw him, but that's due to holidays.
I need a holiday right? :-) Just having a dip in my confidence - wishing it was all done and dusted?
Well I hope everyone else is doing great!
A short holiday will do you good, but I'd also recommend that you consider speaking to a counsellor at your university. They're there to help students (including postgrads) through tough emotional patches. They don't come up with suggestions or solutions, but help you cope with the situation better. So maybe you could set that up alongside the break. I'm sure it will also help to see your supervisor again. Depending on how comfortable you feel about this you could also drop the supervisor a short email to let them know how things are going. I've sent my supervisors panic emails in the past. It's not a bad thing to do, they can offer words of wisdom before they can meet me in person, and it gets it out of my system!
Enjoy your 3 weeks away!
Hi Buzby
Could you be suffering from depression, do you think? Not sleeping, feeling teary all the time are symptoms of depression, and you might want to think about getting some professional help. Friends and relatives mean well, but platitudes about regretting quitting etc etc won't do anything to make you feel better or encourage you to work, these sorts of comments just make the guilt pile up. But there are things you can think about doing - go and see a counsellor at uni, talk about what you're going through, and work out some strategies for coping and moving forward.
Then go and enjoy that holiday! And when you come back, stick with the strategies and plan you've worked out, draft an email about what you want to cover off with your supervisor, and do tasks, one at a time, little by little.
Finally, PhDDepression is a poster on this site, and has had lots of helpful things to say - look for older threads, and have a look at this blog too: http://www.phddepression.com/
It will get better! You just need to take action to move through this. Good luck!
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