Hi everyone

Title is my problem. I didn't want to get to this point.

Firstly, my supervisors: my main supervisor is inexperienced but so lovely. She's been endlessly patient and positive. However this might be part of the problem. I wanted to quit in first year and she persuaded me not to. Things didn't improve and I also talked to her about quitting last year. I wish I had, but she begged me not to and even got the head of department from his office to persuade me. It was quite embarrassing, but I understand why she did it as I am her second doctoral student and she has a lot riding on me.

I didn't want to let her down so I agreed to go part time. I have a job which is nice and I've been working every evening and weekend. But now I'm at my final hard deadline and I still have 10k to write! I don't really understand the material and I don't think I'm capable of producing a thesis to the right standard. My supervisor continues to be positive, but the secondary supervisor has told me she's seriously worried.

I just don't know how I'm going to get it done. I have been miserable throughout this whole process and I don't want to work in academia.

I'm going to write as much as I can but I fear I will fail the viva or maybe be advised to withdraw instead of submit.

Any words of advice would be much appreciated.

I have a feeling that this has been missed and you are not being intentionally ignored.

Here is something that might be helpful on a practical level with the writing:

But if you really feel that you don't know what you're writing about maybe you should talk to the second supervisor. Maybe you should be making a plan to reduce the scope of the thesis and aim for an MPhil instead? Have you considered this option?

The relationship with the first supervisor doesn't sound to healthy really - especially if your feelings and the second supervisor's words of warning are confirmed. I wouldn't worry about what she has riding on it. Think about yourself too!

I definitely missed this.

I am a first-year and nowhere near such a hurdle yet, but all I wanted to say is that 10k is doable in 2 weeks. Set yourself small, manageable goals (for example, 500 words this afternoon, read A and B tonight) and keep track of them. Make notes for yourself going forward - things that you think of to include later on.

I know it's really hard, but you have come this far - try to think positively and get the thesis in and worry about the viva afterwards (this is my advice, anyway).

It sounds like your first supervisor is a bit over the top and as Tudor mentioned, definitely think about yourself first and foremost. Remember that they are not the ones submitting the thesis - you are. It is your thesis and your decision about what to do.

Your first supervisor doesn't sound lovely at all. She sounds needy, more than a little happy clappy and worse, it sounds like she has pressured you into making a decision which is bad for you. My worst nightmare in a person if I am being honest.

You mentioned in a previous post that you had or still have suicidal thoughts. You need to stop and get professional help right now if this is true. You need to be making decisions which are right for you. In your current state, you absolutely must not be thinking of what is best for her, only what is best for you. You can always come back and finish your thesis when you have recovered,

Please get some professional help for your depression if you can.

How is it going Sad?

Keep us posted if you can.

Tudor

Hi Sad,

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, but you're definitely in the right place to find support from people who may have gone through a similar situation themselves.

Although I can't offer words of advice, I can offer words of support. Please do come back and let us know how you're doing :)