Hello all. I wondered if I was on the right forum :) Lovely new look. I have been in hiding for over a year while a PhD complaint I lodged has been on-going. Sadly people closed ranks and those who could speak kept silent while I developed serious traumatic reactions. Two stages of complaint on (over a whole year of doing no work) I am told to "do what I am asked to" by the bullies. The last leg is the council and then judicial review. I have considered all options including whistleblowing, my MP and so on. I am trying to see if I could transfer either to the US or SA or anywhere that would take me and not expect me to start again. Had I started again two years ago, I would have gotten somewhere. I have asked to be moved out to another discipline as my course is multidisciplinary, even temporarily, but no. I was made to wait. What can I do?

hi sadphdstudent
I don't have any experience about PhD complaints so I'm sorry I am of not much help here but I hope you are ok---and if you have to wait, I mean, if that is what you have to do right now, perhaps you could look into doing other things that will make you happier (while waiting for whatever it is you have to wait for)

hope you feel better :-)

sometimes starting all over is not as awful as it sounds, who knows?
miracles can happen

love satchi

You're screwed. I say this from being in a very similar position. Will any academic break ranks and stand up for you over their colleague? I realised that was never going to happen for me. I can only say that I am disgusted by what has happened.

See if you can get out of there. To another uni, another department.

Draw a line around this **** so that it doesn't take over your life. It took a year of stress related illness to start to get there for me.

Get realistic. Ask yourself: how can I win if I stay in this department with this supervisor? What other options do I have to enjoy my life?

I chose to stay and stick it out. My complaints went as high as possible without being official. I got ****** at every stage. Exactly the same "do what you are told". 1+1=3. This is the truth. It doesn't matter what everyone else says. I'm "too stupid to understand". Realising that I am dealing with a truth speaker (i.e. my supervisor is a prophet who has no experience, understanding, but his words are beyond contest, even when he tells me that I'm right wing and don't think the rights of others are important - I have to write this to get a phd) has been a major help to me.

This isn't fair. Accept this. Academics are the kings of their own little kingdoms. This isn't about to change where I am.

Sorry if this comes across as absolutist, just like "do what you are told like a good child". This absolutism is how I deal with the physical and mental devastation of working for an idiot who thinks force of personality, ad hominem, authoritarianism, elitism, and revisionism are acceptable styles of discourse.

If you have any advice on coping mechanisms I'd love to hear it.

You are the only one that matters. Get what you want, and realise the cost. But make that cost as small as possible.

Good luck!

"You're screwed. I say this from being in a very similar position. Will any academic break ranks and stand up for you over their colleague? I realised that was never going to happen for me. I can only say that I am disgusted by what has happened.

See if you can get out of there. To another uni, another department. "

Thank you so much for letting me have your unreserved views. I could have written it myself :( I am so sad that you are in such a situation too. Mine has gone all the way and I have come to accept that the relationship will never change and no one would ever come to my aid.

Coping mechanisms -
1. I have had CBT - to try to be "an accepting" person rather than "a demanding person" - E.g. "It would be nice to have my PhD after years of hard work, but ..."
2. Several months of pyschodynamic psychotherapy - not cheap and if anyone ever told me I would be willing to pay 2 x £90 for two assessment sessions and then continue to spend £55 every week for therapy, I would not have believed it. BUT it saved my life.
3. Now I am back to CBT for trauma :(

Good friends, music and faith have helped. In a sense intangible support.

4. I like the fact that you have chosen to stay and finish. I am happy for you. I know it is possible.
5. Try to find some motivational audios - like "Awaken the gian in you" :). It
6. I used to go to the steam room, sauna and such TLC :)
I am not sure of what else to say. OK, look back at your past accomplishments and know that you are good and can do it.

Kindest regards

SadPhDStudent,

You get honesty because of all the times people say "oh it's normal to disagree with your supervisor/feel depressed etc.". What I see in your writing, like my experience, isn't normal.

Your advice is spot on. I saw a counsellor, will go back again soon. She helped me get rid of a lot of pain I carried around with me. She could not believe how I had been treated, and got angry and frustrated herself.

I'll look at Awaken the Giant. I think this is the main thing I will get from this experience, not training, not skill, just having been tested as a person and hopefully coming out successful. I realise that success isn't about whether my supervisor will pass me or not (I can't get to a viva without him doing so, and I can't change supervisor). It's how I act.

Become the giant you are, the giant you have been shaped into by your journey.

Thank you for making me feel like I am not alone in my experiences.

Good luck

Hugs are sent your way xxx