I am seeking some advice as to whether I should talk to my department head or not, (my advisor has recently become the graduate coordinator in our program).  When I initially started this program 5 years ago I was excited, but I soon realized my advisor was not interested in my project (she said she got the funding on a "fluke and wasn't expecting it") and I have been left to flounder on my own for the last 5 years. Despite being left to my own devices, I have manged to mentor 7 undergrad students, present at 1-4 professional meetings/year,  submitted a paper (that unfortunately I had to retract, due to listening to her advice...see below), passed my comps with flying colors, wrote for and was awarded 2 small grants through our department, guest lectured for another department every year, and managed to collect an overwhelming amount of data for very large number of sites.

Sadly, I did have two major health episodes and my grandmother passed while I have been in the program.  During this entire time my advisor has made inappropriate comments about my personal life (telling me WHILE I am having a miscarriage that now is not the right time to have kids anyway - unfortunately, I felt had to tell her because I was supervising HER undergrad student and needed her to take on that role while they figured out what was going on), told me I need to learn to tell my family "no" (ummm, my grandmother DIED, sorry can't say no to that), made snide remarks how the "piddly little" department awards aren't going to do anything for me and if I want a good letter of recommendation I have to get some big funding, how I am slow at everything (I don't feel slow, nearly everyone I started the program with is still here or quit), how I need to graduate to open up TA space for her (well, if she could manage to get some funding of her own maybe it wouldn't be an issue), and recently threatened to fail me on research credits if I don't get this paper out by the end of the semester. I am now on draft #8, which was marked up more than the last two and she is now wanting several new analyses that I think may take some time...maybe more time than I have before the end of the semester. 

Also, I have to share that I submitted a paper last year after working on it for over 2 YEARS and 32 drafts with her, and I let her brow-beat me into a type of analysis that I didn't really think was appropriate, come to find out (through my own work) the analysis WAS NOT appropriate and I retracted the manuscript...luckily it had revisions and was invited to resubmit, so was not actually published yet. This experience has led me down the path I am now trying to write about, but I am getting a little frantic when I look at all the revisions and analyses she wants done in just a couple weeks in order for me to "pass" my research credits.

Is this something I should talk to my department head about? I have already made the decision to leave school, give up my TA, and finish writing up near

I guess I am too long winded :) I am finishing my writing up near my family. I have already secured a part-time job in the lab I hope to work for as a post-doc for income while I write. I thought my advisor was going to jump up and down to get me out of here, but instead I was berated about my decision, and told that she needed more than 6 months to find another student to fill the TA. I'd love to quit, but since I'm in the writing phase (and I hate to quit anything) I really want to finish. Plus, I am 38 and don't feel like I could or even would want to start over anywhere else. Or, perhaps I spent too much time in the "real world" and this is how it goes in labs...I tell you one thing, I don't want any part of it once I am done. My husband and I are going to start our own small business and non-profit organization, but I may need some post-doc income while we are getting started. Any advice would be helpful!

======= Date Modified 21 Apr 2012 11:42:33 =======
Hi plantgeek13
Have to say, I was as confused and helpless as you. I may not give you very much advice but share my experience with you.
My supervisor did the same or even worse. He literally jumped up and down and shouted and through my thesis to me in his office. Verbal abusing and threaten happened almost every meeting during my writing up. And he even created something never happened to abuse me and said if I tell anyone, he would fail me. He asked me stay as his posdoc but I refused. Then after several failure of work application (I went to interview, they were all happy with my work and myself, but I was refused in the end), one day, he got angry again by something i even do not remember, he shouted at me said he would never even give me a good reference and a foreign student like me would never find a job in this country.
I was so confused and did not know where went wrong. It was only two month to my deadline of submission. I did not think I could make it if he kept doing so. Then I told myself I cannot take this anymore then I went to talk with some adviser in the Uni and was told to bridge with him then if not work, tell the PG tutor or Head. Then I went directly to the PG tutor. PG tutor then talked with my supervisor. He become even angry, you know. …Jumping up and down while shouting those bitter words towards me. Then I went to the head and asked for changing supervisor or a third person who will present all the time during the meeting of my supervisor and me. Then the department held an investigation and forbidden him to access me. Then I got my peace back. I wrote up at home and got feedback from my supervisor via pass my drafts to the third person. Then I submitted on time. Then I passed my viva without correction. I got 3 job offers without his reference. Now I am a posdoc in a very good university.
I hope my experience will be useful to you. If you can bridge with your supervisor would be the best, if you cannot, do remember to gather some evidence then go to talk with the Head of Department. At that time, i did not gather enough evidence then the department choose to believe what I said but cannot set him on some regulations due to lack of evidences.
Wish you finish on time and find the life you want soon,
Furun