Hi all,

I will further PhD at one of top 100 uni, specifically in the UK this October and I really look forward to it.

I get full scholarship for my PhD and I am bonded as a lecturer to my home country university, meaning after they sponsor my PhD, I need to serve as a lecturer at the university. Even with MSc now, I started teaching and giving lectures too.

My concern is that, there is this one colleague (out of hundreds, she is the rotten one), who is very, I mean VERY busybody about other people. I call her F. She will collect all stories about all lecturers and "keep in her archives". We were close when I first joined this uni as a lecturer, she told me about ALL LECTURERS' PhD EXPERIENCES and she said her intention is only to share experience so I will be more equipped for my PhD. Then I started to notice she likes to talk about other people too and suddenly, some people came to me and asked me about things I didn't tell them, but I told F. Then I know I need to stay away from her. She noticed and she confronted me and I said I want to mind my own business and colleagues are not friends who I share everything.

She seems offended that I don't share any news to feed her "gossip nature" so she starts to spread things about me in the department. I know her, and she'll go to the extend that she will get close to Associate Dean of my faculty suddenly after our drama (Associate Dean is the same area of teaching with me) and now the Asso. Dean gives me different, cold vibe, no longer friendly like usual. She will continue postdoc in UK too, ONLY NEIGHBOURING CITY TO MY UNI FOR PhD! I'm afraid she'll silently contact my PhD supervisor and spread false things about me to sabotage my PhD journey.

I am worried... she's a Dr btw.

Take these danger signals seriously! Be polite when you see her but avoid her at all costs! Keeping your head down is probably the best bet in this situation.

If you don't give her any more information, or listen to her information about others, then she won't have much ammunition she can use against you. Others will have given her the cold shoulder before, so it isn't like she won't be used to that. Just be polite but don't engage beyond that.

Chances are, she already has a reputation, and so people would take anything she says with a pinch of salt anyway. In the same way that you realised that she is just a gossip, so will others. In the end, your own behaviour will speak louder than anything she says. But do be careful!

Hi Tudor_Queen,

Thanks for the advice. I am very careful now that I avoid to see her at all costs. I hope that she will find a new victim.

Since she will do Postdoc for 2 years, in neighbouring city to my uni, (and she will fly to UK this June, and I will fly this Oct), do you think that I should tell my PhD supervisor about her behaviour so that my PhD supervisor could avoid her IF she approaches my supervisor through email / go to my uni / bump into each other at colloquium / etc? I am thinking to tell my supervisor beforehand to avoid this person (given her name and photograph) but I am afraid that I’ll look like the bad guy / supervisor thinks i’m weird / etc.

Anyone’s opinion is appreciated. Thanks!

I think it would seem very strange to warn your supervisor and show them a photograph. I think the best thing you can do is to make a good impression on your supervisor (e.g., that you are hardworking, trustworthy, reliable etc). That way he/she will already have formed their good impression of you, and would be unlikely to be too influenced by hearing something otherwise from someone that they didn't know - that is if they DID happen to hear something bad.

Good luck!