Oh Ev, I'm sorry to hear things have been so tough for you. I hope you're feeling stronger again now - make sure you're kind to yourself and don't pile on too much pressure. And I totally hear you about feeling awkward around colleagues you've shared with - but don't worry about it, most people are very human and understanding and will only be wishing you the best, not thinking any worse of you for anything you may have told them while in such a difficult situation.
Anyway, welcome back!