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Before you started your PhD, how did you feel? Did you feel totally overwhelmed by the application process, inferior to those already doing a PhD, nervous about discussing your initial ideas??
I'm starting the application process (approaching supervisors) in the new year and after talking to my tutors a few months ago, still don't really feel ready even though I've been thinking about what I'd like to do and the methodology I want to use, and getting quite excited about it. But I still don't think I'm really up to scratch or even old enough (nearly 22) to start a PhD - is that normal??!
When I started my first PhD I wasn't at all nervous, thought everything would be fine, and just took things in my stride. For the record I was only just 22 when I started the PhD, and I didn't do a Masters course after the first degree (science student: wasn't the done thing back then).
Obviously things went pear-shaped with that PhD, though that was down to the long-term illness developing shortly after I started my full-time PhD. I didn't ever think I'd have another go, let alone in a totally different discipline. Even when I was coming to the end of my part-time history Masters I didn't think I'd do a PhD. But then - suddenly and unexpectedly - a topic I loved came up, and so I decided to just have a go, and applied quickly and started some way through the academic year. No funding, and I had to study part-time, but I won AHRC funding part-way through my first year.
I was much older the second time around, and knew what to expect from the PhD process which I think has helped me get to (almost now) the end. But I wasn't intimidated the first time around either.
But I would have thought doubts were fairly natural. So don't worry unduly. But equally don't set the standard so high. Your ideas can be very vague at this stage. Staff you speak to won't expect you to have worked out methodology etc. in any great detail. You're still finding your feet in your field. Plenty of time (a whole PhD to be honest!) to narrow things down.
Hi Natassia! I think most people feel as you have described...to be honest I wasn't that nervous, just really excited and keen to get going. I already knew my supervisor and had a fairly good idea of what I was meant to be doing, although that got changed a bit along the way! Just keep in touch with your supervisors- they will be able to guide your topic choice to some degree, as they will know what is underway and has already been done, needs doing etc, but make sure you settle on a topic you are happy with and excited about- that's the best motivator of all! I didn't feel too overwhelmed really. I am part of a team working on a specific topic (dementia) so I could learn quite a lot from the other team members as well, even though my specific project is different to that of anyone else on the team- their help and advice was invaluable, so don't be scared to ask for advice if you need it, it has saved me a lot of time! And my MSc had prepared me really well for the PhD- particularly the research side of the MSc- I would have really struggled without the MSc but you will have that under your belt and I think you'll be fine! Best wishes with all the applications and stuff! KB
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Yes, like Bilbo says, don't put too much pressure on yourself. 22 isn't too young to start a PhD, there are lots of people who go straight into a PhD after undergrad. And your ideas will come together - you won't be expected at this stage to know too much about your area, or your research question. Doubts about your ability is also really natural - I still don't think I'm smart enough and feel like a fraud a good chunk of the time, but this just goes with the territory. Your confidence will grow.
I also didn't feel overwhelmed or intimidated when I started - probably because I already had done lots of postgrad study and was a also bit older. It's lovely getting all excited about the topic - that's fabulous! You'll be fine, sounds like you're off to a good start.
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I know exactly how you feel Natassia. Although I was really excited about getting my teeth into the work, I was quite terrified about sharing my ideas with the supervisor to begin with. I felt that he was far, far more superior (and probably is), but I thought "what could *I* possibly come up with compared to this already established academic!?!"
It takes a bit of time before you feel completely comfortable about sharing your ideas. I think it's because it's quite a personal thing in a way; in the world of academia you're supposed to share your ideas, but until you've had a bit of practice most of your ideas are normally kept in your head, written out in assignments, or shared with the occasional close friend or relative. The idea of sharing it with someone who you might feel 'knows it all' anyway can be quite scary.
What I've come to realise is this: 1. they DON'T 'know it all'. They know an awful lot, but they don't know everything. 2. don't feel intimidated by their position, but rather feel grateful that this person is one of your contacts - if you end up getting on really well with them, they will become an invaluable contact in the future and throughout the whole research process. 3. Don't expect your expression of ideas to flow out as perfectly as you had rehearsed them in your head the night before. It takes some time to feel completely natural and comfortable around the sup. In fact, the more you meet up, the easier it will get. You might find that quite early on you have a fantastic meeting, but for some reason the next one feels like an utter disaster. DON'T WORRY about it - it's perfectly normal for that to happen. 4. Don't worry about feeling 'not up to scratch' - you really, really ARE ready. You could spend a life time feeling that you are not ready. It's only because you don't know yet what's waiting on the other side that you feel like this. A good supervisor will steer you in the right direction, or in a direction that you've never considered or even heard of before.
It's absolutely brilliant that you're already thinking about the methodology that you want to use. You seem like you ARE ready and can't wait to get stuck in, and it is just nerves and your age that's making you feel a bit anxious. Use your age to your advantage - How can you possibly know everything at 22? You are still really young right? (Then go home and study like mad and then come back and kick 'em in the balls with your super superior intelligence at only the very tender age of 22.
;-)
You'll be fine. I know someone who started their Phd at 21!
Lastly, don't be fooled by some of the other Phd-er's. They might look the part, but most of em are full of bulsh*t anyway and really aren't worth worrying about. Just concentrate on why YOU are there and what you want to get from this experience. Good luck and enjoy it!
Thank you all for the replies, you all now have 1 extra 'helpful user' vote as I've just realised how to do it!
I am starting to see myself as someone who could study at PhD level, and I am really looking forward to starting the whole process but it is a steep learning curve.
KB - it sounds really nice to be part of a research team and to have a group of other PhD students to support you. The area I'm in is really new and still emerging really so there is a lot of work to be done - I'd imagine that other PhD students will be doing really different things to me but hopefully I'll still feel 'at home' with other PhD students. I'm much happier as a postgrad than I was as an undergrad student so hopefully I'll feel even more suited to PhD study. I think I'll be totally ready for it then after the taught MSc I'm doing now.
I think I need to see my MSc as more of a step towards my PhD, rather than totally separated from it, and inferior to it. Of course I will be reading more widely and writing at a higher level when I do my PhD, but at the moment I think there is more of a leap between UG and MSc level than between MSc and PhD - does anyone agree?
A big issue thats holding me back is that I'm applying to 2 professors from a university that rejected me at Masters level. I applying to academics involved with the MA course there, but not to those who interviewed me, I've never met them before. When I got rejected before it was a bit of a shock and my tutor could only think that it was because I was younger than most of the students they are used to teaching, rather than my ability. This university has a large proportion of mature, part time students and I think that may go against me. I am trying to forget about that experience though. It may sound silly to apply to the university again, but they are very well-respected in the field and their work sits well with what I want to do - they are an obvious choice.
Thanks again, Natassia x
Hey Natassia!
I agree with you- from my perspective the leap from BSc to MSc was greater than the leap from MSc to PhD, given that a large part of my MSc was a research project, so prepared me quite well for my PhD. I am sure there will be others who disagree though! I think the format of the MSc is more like that of a BSc, whereas a PhD is very different without the lectures etc, but in terms of academic level I took to my PhD like a duck to water after my MSc. I felt really well prepared, and even though the PhD is a huge challenge, I didn't feel completely out of my depth- I have loved it from the start and still do.
I guess it's always a bit difficult to gauge the level you are at right at the start of the PhD, so it's a bit nerve-wracking when you start handing in written work and sharing your ideas with your supervisors. I was seriously relieved when my supervisor gave me my first review paper back and said it was definitely of PhD standard in terms of both content and writing style (although it took about another 25 drafts until it was ready for publication!). And now I really enjoy bouncing ideas off her and talking about things I would love to research- even though I really look up to her, I don't feel quite as inferior as I used to. It does take a bit of time though!
It's definitely good to get to know other PhD students. There are over 70 in our department, and it's really helpful to learn from each other as well as to socialise! As I said, there's a team of us working on dementia-related stuff where I am, but my project is very different to what any of the others are doing. So in one sense I am on my own with it, but there are still shared issues like how to fill in NHS ethics forms, how best to recruit participants and that sort of thing. So even though your project might be very different from what everyone else is doing, you can still share knowledge and ideas on some things.
I wouldn't worry about applying to a place that turned you down for your MA.....this will be different people and a different context. I dropped out my first BSc (going back about 10 years now!) because I hated the course, but if they had had the ideal people to supervise my PhD, or if they were to advertise aan interesting post-doc, I would apply there again like a shot. If you like it, and you like the supervisors, then go for it!
Best of luck with the applications, keep us up to date! KB
That makes so much sense - my tutor now said I should speak to them and he knows that university rejected me; I don't think he would have suggested them if he thought I didn't stand a chance. The professor that I'm planning to contact is very well known and I would really like to work with him, its just up to me to show that I am good enough and that my ideas are interesting enough for him to want to supervise me. Its all very early days though, but every PhD student goes through this stage so its nothing new!
My tutor said that I'd be fine doing a PhD if I got a distinction for my Masters so thats what I'm aiming for. I'm really feeling the pressure but I need to get used to that if I'm going to do a PhD - its all part of growing up and realising that only I can control my future; in some ways thats quite difficult to accept but I think I'm ready for it.
Sounds like your PhD is going brilliantly KB - I hope mine is as enjoyable, good luck!!
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