I am a PhD student in the best-ranked university in my country (not America or the UK) and pursuing my research in a field that I am (was?) passionate about. All was fine for a couple of years - I loved my work, did fruitful experiments and presented a paper at the best conference in my field. I also successfully defended my PhD candidacy and got good comments from my panel which boosted up my morale significantly.

Things started going downhill from this point.

I had enough data to publish in a journal just three months after I had presented my conference paper. So, I prepared the manuscript and sent it to my advisors (I have two). Without even bothering to read the manuscript, they wanted me to aim for a journal with a higher impact factor rather than the one I was targeting and so, they asked me to pursue a few more experiments. After four more unsuccessful months, I get the news that a similar work to mine (same experimental design, same goals) was just published by a group from another university.

Now, my advisors turn into PANIC mode. They accused me of being too slow and not making enough effort. In fact, they didn't even remember that I had sent them the draft manuscript four months ago.

My relationship with my advisors turned sour after this. They did not respond to my emails calling for meetings, failed to go through important presentations and never responded positively to my ideas. In the midst of all this, I lost my grandmother and they didn't even offer a word of condolence (perhaps I'm expecting too much?).

Furthermore, I was working on another side project which also gave promising results and was accepted to a prestigious conference. My advisors did not have a look at the draft manuscript for this conference paper, hardly offered any comments or suggestions and did not respond to my email asking them to have a look at my presentation. I travelled alone to the conference (to another country) and presented my paper without any feedback from my advisors. After returning back, they did not even ask how my presentation went.

As a result of this and more, I have gone into a depressive state, lost my motivation for the field I once loved, become a social recluse and lost out on my mental health. It has led me to ask myself "Why did I join this place?" every single day. I have even sought professional help from a therapist but that seems to be of no help.

Apologies for the long post but any advice will be helpful. Criticism is welcome. Thanks for reading.

I have very bad experience with my supervisor as well. In truth, I still don't think my main supervisor know what have I done.

Talking to your supervisors may be the best bet. Try to establish good communication with them (my main supervisor never answer my call, sms, whatsapp as well). Engage them passively and apologize if you need to. In my case, sometimes I just meet him in his room and let him know what have you done and show him some result.

Next, you may talk to course facilitator (postgrad facilitator). Let them know the whole situation and see can they do (in my case, nothing). See if a meeting can be arranged to discuss the communication issue between you and your supervisors.

Last resort may be change of supervisor(s). Go talk to other profs and see what they think about your work.

Anyway, I fully understand your situation and was in your situation throughout the course of my phd study. I cannot offer much help except saying good luck and believe in yourself. Threat all difficulties in life as challenges.

dont worry, just relax, think those who are in lower position of you, always think positively
good luck and best of wishes

So sorry to hear Karmah. I don't think you're expecting too much at all. What role is the supervisor supposed to have - if not to support and nurture your development as a researcher (e.g., giving feedback on presentations, ideas, papers etc)? I agree with ru40342. But please DON'T apologise if you've nothing to apologise for (which by the sounds of it you haven't).

Maybe try to have a plan of action... a) talking to supervisors directly (if it feels like there is any hope in a positive outcome from that - if not, skip that step), b) talking to someone external from the supervisory team or another trusted academic (not to criticise - even if your criticisms are valid - but just to ask for advice), c) enquiring about changing supervisors and then changing supervisors. You may know yourself and the situation well enough to know which of these is likely to work...

Not sure if this helps...

Hi, Karmah,

Sorry for what you have been through... So your star project has been scooped by someone else and you have been blamed for it. How unfair... My condolences over the passing of your grandmother. It is very difficult to face all these at the same time.

My suggestion is to change supervisors. They are probably only interested in the star project and now that it is gone. they are not interested in supervising you anymore. And they are horrible people, why stay with them?

Can you make your side project your primary one? Can you take it with you to another supervisor? Can you talk to your postgrad coordinator or Grad school under confidentiality to ask for help to change supervisor? How are you funded? Can you take your scholarship with you?

You are still very early in your PhD candidature. Make changes necessary to ensure that you have a high chance of completing your PhD successfully. Many times students ignore multiple warning signs of bad supervisors which exist since the start of the PhD, and then only want to take action when it is far too late. Supervisors also normalise bullying which doesn't make things any better for students to voice out their problems.

Have a think. Do what is right for you. However, I just don't think this place is good for you any longer. Take care