I seem to be in the enviable position of being offered my dream phd project. It is what I have been working towards for nearly 8 years now and will allow me to take my work to antarctica which has long been an ambition. It is with a supervisor who has also been something of a mentor to me for a few years (despite having any institutional obligation) and will collaborate with the British Antarctic Survey, who I've always wanted to work with. The supervisor could not be more supportive of me and I really want to work with him and his team. Plus I think the project has the potential to churn out a fair few papers and related academic kudos...

BUT, I moved to Norway last year, having all but given up on UK funding, to be closer to my partner who has a great job here (GIS consultant). As a result it is likely I will now be offered a position here. The project isn't as exciting and will take me away from my zoology roots, but all field work is in the fjordlands, the outdoor lifestyle is better here and the pay difference between me doing a phd here and in the UK is a lot. Even more if I consider the pay cut my partner would take by moving to the UK (looking at around £15k a year between us once I factor in the extra cost of living in Norway).
Further more, I am 32 and having children is increasingly high on my agenda. It's something I keep "putting off" whilst Ive been chasing PhD's and frankly I dont want to leave it many more years. Norway is much better set up for mat leave as a young academic as you are not treated as a student but an employee. Plus, it would be less of a financial stress in Norway than in the UK.

So, Im torn! Dream job. Or dream lifestyle.

Really could do with some advice!

Hi jesamine!

That does sound quite a difficult decision but one I can most definitely sympathise with. I don't have the answer for you but I think the most important thing I would say is that you have to be happy with whatever you're doing. I know a work life balance is necessary but we generally spend most of our time at work (a bit depressing) and if you're doing something you don't like, it makes life very difficult.

A couple of years ago I thought I had everything sorted. I had a job I thought I would love and decent pay but I quickly started to hate it and ended up completely stressed out and left. That's cutting a very long story short but I think the biggest thing I took away from it is that if you're not happy, the money really isn't a consolation.

Having said that, I have currently applied for a job which I think I would enjoy for a lot more money than I am currently on. Since then I've found an opportunity to do a funded PhD in the subject I love. Me and my husband were thinking about trying for a family in the next year so I'm currently in a very similar position. I've thought about it A LOT (understatement) and I'm applying for my PhD and hoping that is the one I'll get despite the low wage. I have time to have kids as I'm only mid 20s but it was still a huge decision as my husband would love kids now! When I was making the decision, I looked at so many forum posts and they said they didn't want to put their life on hold because of a PhD and decided they would have children anyway...but they all said it was incredibly difficult.

Not sure if I've helped but you're definitely not alone on this one!

Jen