Hi everyone,
I'm currently at the end of my first year of a fully self-funded PhD study and I need to make a choice whether I should pay another year of tuition fee or to drop out. Maybe someone else is or was in the same situation...

I was quite successful throughout my BSc and MSc both academically and personally (i.e. social life). I enjoyed my previous studies and the quick results (papers, exams...). Then I started working and it really bored be like nothing before (two different jobs on two different continents). I wanted to get out of it and thought a PhD may be the right thing, since I've always enjoyed uni.

However, a PhD is absolutely different. I don't really have any contacts here and don't know how to change this. My PhD topic averagely interests me and I'm sure I could somehow do it if I had more motivation. Social life etc could contribute to this. However, is this the issue? Currently, I'm coming into uni 6-7 days a week and trying to force myself to do some work. However, I mostly procrastinate. I'm already considering to quit, but have no plan for afterwards. The alternative of doing some boring and meaningless stuff in an office simply kills me.

Was anyone in the same situation? If so, what did you do about it?

I very, very much appreciate any sort of report on your experience. Thanks in any case!

"Currently, I'm coming into uni 6-7 days a week"

First off, don't do that. Make sure you schedule in dedicated 2 'no work' days where you plan a movie, go hiking, window shopping, etc. I like to work the weekends, so my days off are usually Sunday & Monday or split during the week. Even just drinking at home and binging on a Netflix series for the day is really good for resting your brain and makes you motivated to work on the thesis the next day. I know it's tempting to just go in everyday, but it really kills the interest.

Even though the PhD is mostly self-directed, treat it like you have a boss expecting a piece of work at the end of the week. Write a daily target in your planner (like reading 3 articles and noting or writing 500 words). Hitting the target at the end of the week is self-motivation and stops you from procrastinating. You could also try exercising in the morning, I found out that quick-starts my energy for the day.

I also found out that it's not helpful to spend the year mostly reading and noting (even though this is expected for the massive literature review)...I can only do about two days of reading then I start working on the writing and go back and forth. You could try to find a conference or two for the upcoming year as well, writing a paper for it/presenting/arguing it out and networking really boosts the confidence.

For social life, you could try joining some clubs. although it's summer so people will most likely be gone till the autumn.

I also was out of academia for a decade, so what helps me is reminding myself that I don't have an actual boss and making me work unpaid overtime! :) I also like job-searching online, it helps to know how much I can make after the degree & figure out different places in the world that I'll move to.

Hi, nordsee,

Take two weeks off and have a think about if you want that PhD or not. If you don't need that PhD (aka you don't want to go into academia), I would suggest that you consider doing something else since you are paying for it.

Doing a PhD is different from a BSc or MSc. You work on a single project in depth whereas in BSc and even MSc (not MRes), they are coursework based and each course is for a short period of time. If you are a person who likes constant change and excitement, a PhD is definitely not for you.

Go have a look at jobs that have constantly changing work environment. Eg. sales rep, field scientist, application specialist, environmentalist, marine biologist/forest ranger, etc

Thank you Nad75 and tru for your replies and the advice. I really appreciate it.

@Nad75 I'm cutting it down now to 5 days and 9-5 and will see how this goes. However, I just spend a week back in Germany without doing anything and I expected my motivation to be higher again. Well, it was pretty good on Monday, but now it is simply getting worse again... I'm not entirely confident about the issue here, but reading what @ Tru wrote, I see at lot of matches to my personality and came up with similar thoughts already.

@Nad75, I think I will do the two week thing and then see whether @tru's reply is the situation here.

Thanks again!

Hi, I just quitted my PhD in my second yr maybe I can give you some thoughts. Some background: My research was interested to me that I don't mind to work all day and night.I have excellent research progress and received two scholarships, but I am just a hard working student have some interesting character and not too good academically. Excellent researcher. In another words, I am not too good at the subject I chose. My lesson was do what you are good at because if you are really good at something, you will thrive in your field. You will feel good about yourself and found meaning from your work. You mentioned "meaningless, boring, forces, kills me" sounds like a red flag which I think definitely not to ignore. Beside having a OK social life that keep you in the program...are you good at or even passionate about the subject?

Hey nordsee,

I think it's great if you have a good idea that you want to quit your PhD (that's what the original post sounded like). Most people who post on here about quitting are struggling and feel like they want to quit but do not really want to quit (eg they want a future career in academia, they know they're just going through a temporary rough time, they only have a short time left and think they may as well finish).

If you're not finding PhD life fulfilling and don't think it is necessarily for you, then one idea is to explore your career options. You could do this by looking at job profiles, taking those tests they have, talking to people, and importantly, thinking about what parts of your past and present experiences you have enjoyed vs. not enjoyed (or hated!) - and what it is that distinguishes those parts and what careers might offer things you know you enjoy. Once you have some options of what you think you would like to do you can then go about planning the steps that will take you to that role. If a PhD isn't necessary then leaving sounds a sensible plan!

If, on the other hand, you want to stay on and finish your PhD (eg maybe you really want to have a doctorate, or maybe you want to be an academic or something else that needs a PhD) then other people's advice here sounds a good plan.

All the best!
Tudor

Thanks for the further replies and suggestions!

@Becky1210

Why exactly did you drop out then? Didn't want an "average" PhD? Didn't expect a thriving academic idea? What are your doing now?

However, what you are describing pretty much sounds like me. I'm very hard working and really have to say my BSc and MSc were simply a lot of work, but that's it. The BSc was even harder...

My topic is used to be interesting, but this is decreasing now. Not entirely sure about the reason yet. Anyway, it is definitely not keeping me awake at night...

@Tudor_Queen:

yeah, I don't think it is a short term low, since it's going several months now and only getting worse even after my one week holiday. However, I want to rule out any other reasons which are influencing my attitude towards my PhD studies, as I always wanted to become an academic and to stay at uni. However, the environment at my current uni is not what I'm used to from both my BSc and MSc uni. A lot of people seem to be very isolated. Can't tell whether is this willingly or unwillingly.
Yes, I'd love to have a doctorate, but if I don't stay in academia it's just a fancy title and doesn't really have any further use for me.

So, I better come up with some alternative pathways before I leave the programme or have to pay another year tuition.

Thanks again!

Ooops, I edited my reply while you responding to it! It is slightly different now (I noted that you didn't have funding and added something else).

I have benefited also. Maybe also add more to the procrastination part. How to overcome it!