My word - I actually don't think I know of any girls I went to school with you aren't bloody married and pregnant!

I feel slightly ridiculous still being a student. Sigh.

Why am I doing this?

PhD/academic life = deferred gratification (often ad infinitum).

Still, at this rate, the afterlife is going to be one AMAZING place folks.

I'm not preganant.

Mind you, I didn't go to school with you.

And I'm male.

Oh well.... ;-)

Why does it matter what people you went to school are doing, if you like what you chose to do with your own life?

I'm pregnant, with a gestation period of three-four years. I've put on loads of weight, have cravings for junk food, and feel tired all the time.
I can't wait till I give birth to my little baby PhD!

No offence meant but I'm guessing this comparison with other people who've made different decisions from yours (and remember your choices may be different but are equally valid) probably represents broader insecurities about your PhD, rather than a sudden desire to marry and produce sprogs. Perhaps you need to look back at the reasons you made the choices you did and also consider what you'd be doing/want to do if you didn't do the PhD. Plus of course being a PhD student doesn't necessarily preclude being married and pregnant - again just the choices you make (plus finding someone to marry and produce children with obviously...).

Just think of the school reunion - "actually it's Dr Bobby" haha that is my entire motivation! sad I know. Also I have found that a lot of my 'friends' - lets call them acquaintances, from school have got kids but they are all called 'jordan' or 'Mercedes' and live entirely off the dole - I'm such a snob HAHAHA :p

There was a long spell in my 20s where everyone seemed to be getting married/buying houses/having kids. My mother gave me a hard time about this. Until they got divorced.

Then they ALL remarried. Some had more kids.

Then most of them got divorced again.

Then some of them remarried. One or two had more kids.

I would need an excel spreadsheet to keep track of it all.

======= Date Modified 25 Feb 2009 11:08:47 =======
Sorry, I don't mean it as if to say I wish that I was off doing what people at school were doing and wishing my own life away - I am happy with my choice (well, depends on what day you ask me :-)), but I guess it just seems at times that I'm a little "stuck behind". It just seems odd that there are so many people who all of a sudden have jobs, houses and foetuses!



B.xx

i know exactly how you feel - although i am perfectly happy doing my phd i do feel that my life is on hold a bit, as there is no way i could consider getting married or pregnant during it! most of my friends seem to be getting married in the next year or two and i do sometimes wonder how i am going to fit it all in! i will have been at university for a total of 9 years (wth the odd gap) which has kind of made me a running joke among my friends who did their 3 years then got on with 'real' life as they love reminding me!

I was very briefly married while I was still an undergraduate to a man who turned out to be a total bastard and started an affair with a mutual friend 4 months after the wedding. Although I'm happily settled with someone new now whom I may well marry (perhaps during the PhD, perhaps not) I'm still pretty messed up and reckon it'll never really go away entirely - however awful I guess they may seem at times at least PhDs can't treat you like that! Thus the PhD is clearly an admirable lifestyle choice and not to be knocked! :p

definitely a good way of looking at it - my phd is very loyal, ALWAYS calls when it says it will (whether i want it to or not!) and will never leave me (again, i have no choice in this...). although it occasionally fantasises about being with another student, i know it will never do anything about it! ;-)

I haven't read the full thread yet, but I thought the subject line was really funny :-)

I am actually getting married this year - GULP! no sprogs on the horizon tho - definately after my PhD!