Really sorry for that moaning post......

I'm in my third year of a PT PhD, living abroad and working FT...
I am in my writing up phase, which is stressful in its own. Adding to this some problems that I have with the language (English is not my first language), adding to that the extra time that I need in order to read (someone else whose first language is English could read much faster than me).
My supervisor has asked me to come to UK for a couple of months in order to get into the academic community. For me this means taking all of my annual leave from work, taking some extra days off (without being paid), spending so much money (in the current financial situation in my country this is extra difficult) and, at the end, losing time (I can't move all of my books and notes with me, and I can't work with other people around me sharing an office).
On top of all that, I just came back from my endocrinologist, who said that I should take an operation as soon as possible... Up to now, he was telling me that it was something that was going to happen but not immediately!


Its is the first time in these three years that I feel so stressed.... I can't do anything, I can't think anymore or what to do and what to tell my supervisor. I just sit on the couch and look at the wall in front of me

Hi Emmaki, sorry to hear about your situation. You have a lot on, but try to look at things separately. Of course your health comes first so have this operation and let your supervisor know what is going on there if you haven't already - that should take a weight off your shoulders and hopefully if your health is better you'll feel better and be more confident about your work; I know that sounds really simplistic but hopefully you know what I mean - take care of yourself first.

Maybe make a compromise with your supervisor - say go for a month instead then three weeks later in the year?

Big hugs and take care, Nxx

======= Date Modified 02 Dec 2010 20:49:14 =======
Hey Emmaki! Well first off, I never realised you weren't first language English- you write really well (and I don't mean that in a patronising way!). sounds like you need a bit of a break, and try to deal with one thing at a time. First of all, sort your health out. I suffer from a really severe thyroid problem and have to see an endocrinologist, so I know just how bad these kinds of problems can make you feel- it makes everything 10 times harder. I actually think it's unfiar of your supervisor to ask you to give up so much time and spend so much money- when he says 'get into the academic community', what exactly does he mean? What are you expected to do whilst you're there? I would try to compromise- agree to go over there for a visit, but not a whole 2 months in one go, and ask if there is any way they can help with your expenses. The department I'm in have been quite helpful with expense when I've asked for support for travel etc. Don't let this get you down- sounds like you're doing really well, being in the writing up phase in your 3rd year of a part-time PhD! The most important thing is your health, so get that sorted first and you will be in a much stronger position to deal with the rest of life. Best, KB

Thank you both, for taking the time first to read my post and then to reply....
Yes, KB, my first language is not english, I am Greek (and I guess you all know the current economic climate here, hence my financial difficulties), I feel flatered with ypur comment about my english skills! :-)
Of course my health comes first, but I feel so overwhelmed by everything....
I guess I should just take a few days off and think about my going to UK (they want me there in order to be in the university, meet other people, attend lectures and seminars, work there). I know I can't do it (not only financially) because I know myself and my work patterns (like to work alone), I have so many notebooks and books that I would have to carry with me that is almost imposible to carry all of them, and I don't want to pressure myself so much (working 9-5 on the PhD will be very tiring for me and I don't think I can do it, and I don't have to do it as I don't have any deadline!)