Hello!

Sorry for the-yet another rant-I'm having serious thoughts about quitting!

I'm in my second year, and really dont feel like I've got what it takes! My supervisors are very critical at all my work and I'm just feeling deflated, stressed and wondering whether this is going to be worth it. My project is unique and could have important influence on how things are regulated for BEM groups. I think my sups are regretting taking me on!

I've written nearly 50k of my literature review, developed my own toolkit etc, and started fieldwork on my focus groups etc. I've also just come back from doing fieldwork for a non phd project. but I'm seriously wondering whether I will pass my upgrade :(

I just feel like bursting into tears! Does anyone out there have any tips on surviving a slump?

Have you tried talking to your sups? How far away is your upgrade? Could they give you an idea of how they think you are doing and how likely you are to pass? If it were unlikely surely they would have said something by now - usually people are weeded out before their second year.

Many (very many) academics are critical by nature and it is their natural communication style. Look at conference sessions - it's just an opportunity to make the speaker look small and the questioner to look big (rather than genuinely asking for information). It's an aggressive sport. I wouldn't take it personally unless they really think you aren't up to it - and if that's the case they should have said so by now!

He tries occaisionally, bless, but it clearly pains my sup to give anything resembling praise.

I think I am definitely in the minority of having a great supervisor--but I too have days when I think I could just walk away from it all. My struggles are about being away from "home"--its nothing to do with England, per se, I think I would be feeling like this no matter where I had gone--its just hard to be away, and it feels like I have given up so much to be here to do this.

I am not going to walk away from it, I am clear on that, but I do entertain escape fantasies from time to time as a means to remind myself I do not HAVE to do this, it is a CHOICE.

Can you just go away and have that good cry? Eat some chocolate, or some other comfort food ( or drink!?), meet up with a friend who has a shoulder to cry on, just get away from it all for a day or two, and then see how it looks and feels?

Can you be very direct with your supervisors and say that you are worried, and wonder how they perceive your progress, and discuss with you the fact that you are having feelings like you might want to quit?

If you are 50k in you could probably walk away with an MPhil.

However, unless you have a clear idea of where you want to go next, I would suggest you talk over your options with someone you trust. Quitting may be the way forward, but from the way you describe it sounds like you are on a "down" at the moment.

(Unless your supervisor(s) are being right out abusive then I would leave asap).

I have read many of your previous posts but felt the need to respond to this post. I can completely understand what you are going through given that I have a similar background to yours and the current stage of my PhD studies. My advice to you is that like everyone else on this forum, you have worked extremely hard to reach the current stage that you are at. Your supervisors would not have chosen you if they had doubts about your ability to undertake a PhD. I think that criticism, particularly constructive criticism is a fundamental aspect of the PhD, so do not take the criticism that you receive personally. You have worked hard and achieved so much, speak openly with your supervisors and raise your concerns. Think about what motivated you to do the PhD in the first place and the perseverance and determination that got you there. I hope that you will be able to use both of these factors to see you through the rest of your PhD. All the best.

Hi Pineapple,
Take it easy, there are other PhD students who are much worse and yet got their doctorate. Thus, do your best and hang on till you complete what you have started. As the tide changes, even this time you are going thru will change. After a year, you will be laughing at yourself and wondering how did you managed to pull out.

Cheers.

Hi Pineapple--just want to give you a great big hug. Like olivia, I think you need to take a little time out. I would actually suggest (based on how you're feeling at the moment) a week's break, if it's possible. It sounds like you need time to pamper yourself and do non PhD stuff. Don't be impulsive about jacking it in--you've worked really hard to get here. Then again, if you're really feeling strongly about it, then only you can decide the best move. You've got support here, anyway. Come and have a rant whenever you need to.

Tell your supervisors - supportive or not they should be pooping themselves at the thought of loosing a student after 2 years with no conclusion- it goes against them in the end if you don't submit.

There are other places to go to - if you are in a university - try speaking to the PhD co-ordinator - they are usually very understanding and have probably helped hundreds with the same problem

PhDs are hard work - there are more troughs than peaks - but it is worth it

Take a deep breath - and maybe a few weeks off on holiday - you are entitled to them! and come back refreshed - it may seem like a whole different world when you are not so stressed

No.1 take care of your health - nothing is more important - not even this!

Well, I've submitted my upgrade. I'm really not happy with it, and I'm almost certain that it will be rejected and I'll have to make amendements etc.

As this happended to anyone? ie failed an upgrade? I'm just really struggling to stay motivated. Constantly dealing with pushy rude staff (non supervisor) and demanding and very critical supervisors are who probably think I'm a complete moron. I can see it in their faces that their not happy with me! :( I'm not thick at all! (I've got 2 MScs from top unis, publications and experience) but it wears me down after a while! My confidence in myself academically and personally is low anyway, after doing this course, its virtually nill.

I'm ok when I'm working from home, but its only when im in the office do I feel like this.

Just hope it gets better soon!

I've spoken to my supervisor yesterday and I explained the basic structure and what I've included in my report...She said that it sounds fine...worse comes to the worse, she said that I will have a chance to resubmit..

Feeling crap :(

I just think that if I was just focusing on my phd only, maybe things would be different. I'm not though! All of January I was away doing fieldwork for another non-phd related project; which meant I've had real limited time to focus on MY phd! Also teaching as well which takes its toll. They've made changes now so that I'm just focusing on my PhD now with occasional assistance on fieldwork, but still, maybe this is the point, I should be getting used to juggling things around.

pineapple, it sounds like you've come a long way. You're doing fieldwork on another project, teaching, and have just submitted your thesis. I think you should be feeling well proud of yourself. Why don't you pamper yourself today for submitting the thesis. I'm sure you're feeling crap because of the pressures of submission, so I think this is normal. You've reached a point that alot of people never get to. I was reading 'Getting Your PhD' yesterday, and apparently only 40% of PhD students submit by deadline, with 60% either missing the deadline or dropping out altogether. So give yourself a big hug pineapple! You've done it!

Thanks for the response guys!

Well today, I spoke with both my supervisors. They seemed very shocked at my feelings of dropping out. They were nice about it however and said that they would obviously like me to continue as a PhD student, but if I feel that its too much, or they feel that I'm not up to scratch, they will tell me (which I don't doubt for a second!). They also don't want me to go through the stress of the PhD if I don't feel I'm able to cope with it. I explained to them that I'm going through a rough time personally and its bad timing. I also went onto say that the field is a little different from my comfort zone, so its taken some time getting used to it! I went onto say that my confidence is at an all time low, and that might have something to do with it! In sum, they've asked me to keep them informed and to talk about my feelings with them.

I feel a little relived about telling them, but I'm wondering now whether I've been too honest with them!

They seemed to be very glad that I am looking to get a PhD and not an MPhil. Thinking about it, dropping out is just not my style! I think the last thing I'll do is drop out-I know I will kick myself if I did!

I just think the only thing I can do is focus on being the best I can be-that's all I can do, and try to focus on my PhD and try to bracket off the emotional crap I'm going through right now :)