This is my first time posting on a forum and I could really do with some advice. I'm in my second year of doing an ESRC-funded PhD and am really struggling with it. I'm not behind with work and I'm steadily plodding along, but I'm feeling more and more miserable about it. I'm struggling with the lack of direction, routine and the constant need to try and motivate myself to work. I'm in the social sciences and don't really have much supervision (once a month meetings where I'm usually told to just carry on with what I'm doing). There is zero research culture at my university which makes it hard/pretty impossible to meet other postgrads in my department. I feel really lonely and have lost so much self-confidence/self-esteem.

I've been searching forums for months about quitting, I wake up and go to sleep looking for a job that would employ me either with/without a PhD to research options, I cry most days. I've struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my Masters and PhD. I'm on medication and having counselling. I took an interruption for 6 months of my first year and worked for a research charity. I found a lot of self-confidence doing a job but realised during this time I didn't want to work in research. I missed doing my PhD though, so came back to it.

I know there is a lot of discussion on here about people who have felt the same during their PhDs and it's been comforting reading and knowing I'm not the only one. I'm just wondering how people either: (1) managed to get through their PhDs whilst struggling with mental health difficulties? (2) find the courage to leave?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hi, have you been in contact with student services at your uni? Do they offer a free coaching service? Some uni's do. Also you could enquire about DSA funding and seeing a specialist mentor once a week.

Thank you both very much for your comments. I was referred for a DSA assessment when I first had an interruption and was allocated a weekly mentor but had some teaching commitments/conferences at the time and couldn't make the sessions so had to stop. I'm not teaching anymore so it's probably something to look into again if I decide to stay.
Deep down I really feel I should leave because I'm so much less anxious when I'm not working on the PhD/thinking about the PhD. I'm just worried that I'll go into industry and realise that it was me rather than the PhD that was the problem! Academia was always my dream, so I feel a bit lost at what else to do...
I went to see a careers advisor this week to discuss what other options I have, so fingers crossed this will make the decision a bit easier.
Thanks again.