Just a frankly demoralising chat with sup. It appears as though I have all the content ok in my writing, but not enough of 'me' in there.

I'm from a discipline where "I" is frowned upon and I'm struggling to get to how I can signpost and have that "I am a godly researcher and I see all of this research from upon my researher hilltop and these are the isses" kind of voice in my writing.

Any tips/advice? (given that i have 3 weeks to add this in!)

This made me smile :-)

I'm not sure really. Is that just your supervisor's opinion? (i.e. is everyone else fine with your voice?) Do you over-use the passive voice? I started out in lab science and that was the style, but since changing fields I have been trying to retrain myself out of that into something less dry. I notice that papers in my area are a heck of a lot more readable than in my old field!

But I'm not sure that solves the lofty authority problem. Would you present ideas in a different way if you were talking at a conference compared with writing a paper? If your conference 'voice' is more authoritative then maybe try saying what you want to say out loud as though giving a talk and seeing if the phrasing comes out any different?

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I'm not sure I mean 'authoratative' - just more overviewy, rather than reporting what other people say, I need to say it I guess.

I think at the moment my writing is

"xyz theory states that T is P, which is important to consider in this study"

Whereas she wants me to say

"I think there's a really important issue here, with this old xyz theory, cos its got this whole thing going on with T and P, which is really interesting"

But less like that arrrgh! I don't know! I need someone to write it for me - where are those websites who write for you when you need them!?

Oh and its just my sup - another prof read a chapter recently and said it was "very clear writing style" but what sup wants, sup gets, otherwise she gets angry (you wouldn't like her when she's angry) SUPERVISOR SMASH! (ok no one will get that if they're not a Hulk fan)

What are your conclusions like? By that I mean how much do you push your own opinions there? This applies to both individual chapters throughout your thesis, and the very final discussions/conclusions. I found that these sections were where I was most comfortable about asserting my opinion, grabbing the research and context, and explaining it most authoritatively to the reader. Changing ends of chapters and final conclusions chapters is also something that could be done in a very short time, which you have, so might be a way to satisfy your supervisor.

"An important issue to consider in this context is that T is P, as addressed by xyz theory"?

"Of particular interest in this case is that T is P, an issue highlighted by xyz theory"?

Hi Sneaks

I would understand your sup's comments to mean moving away from statements like 'it could be argued', 'as has been demonstrated...' or similar passive, generalising phrases to you giving your descriptions/critiques using more personal statements like 'I agree/disagree with XY et al. as regards...', 'In contrast, I would argue that...', 'I favour the latter approach on account of its ability to...' or 'In considering my options, I rejected X method on the basis of...'. I guess what your sup wants is 'YOU' and your own opinions much more easy to spot and understand, so they can see where your coming from in your work.

Think of it as a written viva conversation - you are essentially writing up your arguments and decisions as if you were having to explain them to the examiner opposite you. Or think of it as writing a diary entry where you explain your considerations and decisions on an issue to yourself. Or, if you've kept a field journal or research journal of some kind throughout your study... this is the tone of voice you'd want to adopt.

You may be short on time but it's probably just a matter of rewording some of your statements to come from a personal 'I' perspective rather than using a passive voice, and/or adding the odd statement or paragraph clarifying your personal opinion where appropriate.

Does any of this make sense??

well she hasn't read the conclusions so I wouldn't know

I think Misspiggy has it, but how do I do that without saying "I"?

Cool, glad all that garbled stuff made sense 8-) So when you said that 'I' is frowned upon in your discipline you really meant that? Nobody uses it? Wow. Makes things a bit awkward right enough. Could you replace the 'I's with things like 'the author' or 'the researcher' then? Makes it passive again of sorts, but places the perspective firmly with the one person and not some anonymous public out there. Have you looked at some other theses in your discipline to see how others have handled this?

She hasn't even read any concluding parts in earlier chapters? I didn't just mean conclusions at the very end of your thesis.

Ditto for me, if I have to write 'the reseacher...' once more :-s

no, she basically says "well this needs redrafting so I won't read any further until you've done that" - repeat 10 times and she stilll hasn't read any of them. :-s

I'm getting ever so slightly frustrated with it now.

No wonder! My supervisors read everything right through that I sent them.

ok I've been havign a think about this. I think I need to do things like rahter than "it is important that x is included in the analysis" to "it was *considered* important that x was included in the analysis"

hmm will have a go at redoing a chapter and see how it goes.

I have a feeling that I will be using the word considered and deemed a lot :p

A friend of mine finishing their PhD had a similiar problem from the opposite end of this spectrum--got pulled up for making too definitive of statements...! The wonderful world of academia! I agree that changing to active voice strengthens the confidence and clarity of the writing. Could you not even go a step further to say "X is an important variable because..." or "The research of Blogs is effective in demonstrating how X as a variable has contributed to the ..." something along those lines?

Really not sure about this suggestion. To me "it was considered" written like that implies a more passive form of writing than "it is important", and - crucially - implies that the opinion isn't yours, but some anonymous other person.

There is a middle ground: "It was decided to include ...". That's still a bit more passive than the other option, but more assertive than considered.

I really don't think you should be using "considered" :p