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Anyways,
The point of this message is just to share that I am in a pretty bad place right now. I know this is a bit late but I am trying to think strategically on what to do next. If I decide to stay in academia, it means that I need to dedicate the next year or more of my life begging for some tutoring work, which is pretty scarce these days, and working, probably all by myself, on publications, with no guidance or supervision, and who knows how that will turn out.
My other option is to look for a job outside academia, which means that I could have looked for the same jobs even without a PhD, and so it means that I just wasted the last 5 years of my life. I am a qualitative researcher, so I cannot apply for jobs as an analyst...
This sucks, I feel lost, I feel like my supervisors have partially failed me and are more interested in representing the system than helping me. At the moment there is a hiring freeze in all the universities in my countries, but even if there wasn't- my CV is not good enough to apply for any academic jobs.
To be honest, I don't even know what it means to be an academic. I do have plenty of work experience in the real world to know that you are mostly being exploited and used and that was at least my experience in all the jobs I had so far.
So if there are maybe academic with a few years of experience that can offer their wisdom on how it's like to be an academic in the humanities/social sciences, and if I should even take this gamble and spend the next year of my life sitting in my room working on publications (without even knowing even that will pay off)- or alternatively looking for a job that will probably no be so great and maybe feel like I missed out on an academic career because I didnt even try.
Sorry this is a bit negative, but this is how I feel right now.
Hope someone can share some of their wisdom on this.
Thank you!
Ericca