Yes, indeed, the same hackneyed topic. But I reckon that as it's a common complaint, you guys will be all the more ready with helpful anecdotes/words of wisdom!

Started PhD this week. Too early to talk about the academics of it all, I barely know my way from the library to the bookshop yet. However, this is my worry:

I'm doing it far away from home, and my boyfriend still lives back there. We're attempting 'LDR' (sigh) and I think the ONLY way I can be happy doing a PhD, is knowing that I will get to spend quite a bit of time back home.

So, do you think it is reasonable/usual/ to ask to spend say, up to 6 months of a 3 year PhD at home, whether it is the experimental stage, or the write up? I think having that to look forward to (rather than a week here or there or stolen moments) will really motivate me to work my ass off.

Thanks in advance! Keep workin...

Andy

do you mean 6 months in a row?

I think it all depends on the department/subject - it may be that your supervisor is happy for you to work at home (where your bf is) and come in for meetings. I do that, I just travel in (about a 3 hour journey), when needed.

I probably wouldn't bank on 6 months in a row at home though, even in the write up, as people will want meetings etc.

Thanks for prompt reply sneaks,.

Yes, you're quite right - I guess 6 months is too much to do 'email' supervision. At the same time, a month seems too short, especially when at the other side of the world for 3 years. Do you think it's best to explain the situation wholly and honestly at the beginning, and get a realistic idea of what's possible, or do the oft-advised 'wait and see what happens'?

A

ah ok, otherside of the world is a bit worse than a 3 hour train journey!

I would wait and see, in one way it could be a blessing in that you will be 100% concentrated on your work.

I think there are others who have/are doing LDRs during their PhDs, so I think its definitely doable, especially in this age of Skype.

Of course, keep an eye out on all the conferences going on where your bf lives :p you might get funding to visit!

You could in a few weeks discuss arrangements around christmas etc. I know people who just take 2 months off around xmas! So maybe you could ask to go home during that time - and possible the summer hols.

It all depends on subject though and how you collect your data.

Hello GinandJazz

Do not know if I can be of much help. I just started my PhD 2 weeks ago. I am also attempting an LDR. I do not know how far it is for you to travel back and forth. My bf and I have planned to meet around every month, where one of us travels to the others' place. We are around 4hours away by direct plane ride, and we only get those around twice a week or so. Next weekend is the first visit (it is for 2.5days only but I'll take whatever comes). I think you should ask if this is possible. In my case I do not think it will be possible, except in the write up stages (but that is so far away).

Till now we have been coping with Skype. However I do not know how it will go in the future. Please tell us how you get on. I feel better to know that other people are in the same situation. I hope you are settling in in your new place. I have been trying to get to know people and make friends. This has made be a bit more forward than usual. But things seem to be getting on OK.

Best wishes

Hi Ailicec

Thanks for the input. Yes it's definitely good to hear others are trying the same 'setup' with their phds, and partners. Unfortunately a 4 hour plane ride is the stuff of dreams for me. We're about ...28 hours away by plane. Literally opposite sides of the world (UK and South Pacific). With the cost involved, it's unlikely we'll be able to do much more than once a year, although we're trying to convince ourselves that 2 or 3 times might be possible. I think that leaves me only option being : when I do fly home once a year, to stay for a few months. I think it's the only way I won't get depressed.

Hope you're enjoying your studies so far

:-)