I'm currently in the 3rd year of a fully funded for 6 more months UK PhD in Humanities and I've come to the end of the road with it.

I began the PhD because I loved my subject and had done well in my BA & MA, and thought a PhD would good opportunity as a way of getting into academia.
But my PhD has never got of the ground and I'm thinking of calling it a day. I've got excellent supervisors so I can't blame them, but I've been told I don't write in an academic way and I'm not engaging with theory and methodology, which is a major problem for a literary thesis. As it stands the work that I've done isn't up to standard for a PhD and probably not for an MPhil.

I'm not that upset but I feel I'm letting myself and my supervisors down, and people are going to think I'm a failure. But the PhD has made me ill, I've been diagnosed with depression and suffer from phases of insomnia. To top it all the subject that I loved 10 years ago as an undergrad feels little more than a hobby now. I still have an interest in it but not the passion or dedication which I've noticed that many lecturers and other PhDs have, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that's it's pointless, it would never have an impact outside my field and it's unlikely to make a waves in my subject area either. I know I don't want it to be my life or have a job in academia now, and while this may be because people change over 10 years, I also think the PhD has ruined my enjoyment of my subject.

Have other people managed to turn their PhDs around at this late stage? Or if I quit is that bad? How have things worked out for those who did walk away from their PhD?

Hiya Louise, I could have written your post myself ! I am also doing a Phd in Humanities, and currently have 6 months of funding left. I have a really helpful supervisor, bless him, but I don't think I will ever be his favourite student. I did very well in my BA, but slipped a bit in my MA, and now I am just chugging along in my PhD. As a fellow student, I can only advise you to plough through your work. It is a bit too late to back off now, I think. In my case, I am doing a little bit everyday, trying my best to complete the thesis. I know I will never be someone famous in this field, perhaps as famous as my sup, but I am still determined to finish my work. I ask you sincerely, can you seek help with your depression? Also, can you ask for an extension period so you can have a little time for some rest ? Please feel free to pm me if you have anything to talk about.

Thanks for replying. It's good to know I'm not alone out there. I've my depression under control, which is why I'm pretty calm about the situation and not a complete wreck, which I was before I went to the doctor about it.
With the PhD I don't even know if it can go anywhere, I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall, and my supervisors don't feel I'm capable of doing it, they say I have lots of knowledge when I talk about and give presentations, but I just can't seem to make it work on paper. So I feel like I'm wasting their time and mine, plus I feel really stupid because I don't seem to have the ability to do it,even though I know people who have got PhDs who had average grades for their BAs & MAs when I didn't. I don't know whether to try and get an MPhil from it, but I think that would still take a lot of work. I feel like I need an interruption, I would like to get away from it for while, but I don't know if that would be acceptable at this late stage of the PhD.

Hi Louise123,

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. *hugs*
Could you make the quoted part more specific? What do they actually mean that you don't write in an academic way and not engaging with theory and methodology?

Also, the part that states it's not up to the standard of a PhD; is it because you didn't cite the relevant texts, etc?

Hi tt_dan,

I'm not exactly sure myself when they say I don't write in an academic way. I've been told to look at how academics write and to compare my writings to their's, they write in a more sophisticated manner that I can't emulate, so I try to write simply as if I'm teaching a class. Maybe to write a PhD you have to write pretentiously! Not up to standard centres around engaging with methodology, I need to use literary theory works like Genette and Eco and apply those arguments to the text I'm working on. The problem is I find literary theory works hard to understand and what I do understand I think is a load of bollocks, especially applying modern theory to ancient texts, but I'm not supposed to think that because my supervisors are big on literary theory. Now I have a complete mental block when it comes to writing the work, and have lost all interest in it because it's caused me nothing but stress.

I think you already know some of the answers to this problem, in that you do need to adopt a certain register for academic writing. I am having this problem too; I've been told by my sup that my writing doesn't sound academic enough. So what I'm doing in this short time that I have ( 6 months) is to read a few thesis in my subject area and try to write sentences which sound like those in the thesis. Yeah it's kind of short notice, and it's also a copycat method as well. I know what you mean by 'pretentious' because I'm doing that now, trying to sound 'academic' in my writing when I myself am not sure of my subject matter !

Owh, God...

Now I'm getting worried : (

Any example of a nonacademic writing?

hi Louise123
Concering writing academically, there is always help out there! Have you looked in your university Student Services? in my university there is a "writing lady" who helps students with their theses/writing. I have not used this service yet but I was so happy when I saw the poster about it. I think it's a great service because there are so many capable people out there but not everyone is a superb writer!

Interests in our phd/research etc. do fluctuate. At times I also felt that mine was pointless--and especially a waste of time. Strange because when I started it, I thought it was brilliant--then I kind of lost the plot. Today when I think of it, it still hasn't made a huge impact in my area--but I did learn a lot from doing the phd--and because of my (apparently useless) phd, I am able to do lots of things (in future) because I learnt so much from it!

Ask yourself, if you have done 2-and-a-half years already, what's another 6 months? :-)
Go for it Louise123 :-)

love satchi

Thanks for the replies.

I did take some work to an essay writing person and they said there wasn't anything wrong with it as far as they could see, apart from a couple of typos I'd missed. I don't know if that's because they are used to dealing with undergrads and aren't as familiar with PhD writing requirements. As it is I'm none the wiser as to what writing academically is really about because there is such a wide diversity of writing and writing styles among the academics that I read.

I think the biggest problem at the moment is that I hate the PhD, it's making me miserable and that's what's being reflected in my writing, because I'm not enjoying the process I feel like I'm going through the motions, and it's difficult to keep writing when you are only getting a few hours sleep a night and have a constant tension headache. Plus because I've constantly being told my work is not good enough, I lost all confidence in what I write and that's also showing because my writing is becoming more and more tentative, and I can't seem to break that cycle.

I dont know if it't too late for an interruption at this stage, but I think that's what I really need,either that or pack it in. I need to get away from it for more than a week or two, several months would be good and see if the interest and confidence returns.

Louise - it's almost definitely not too late for an interruption of studies, so if you think that would help, then I'd suggest pursuing that option with your supervisors asap. Have you told them how you're feeling? Honestly, I think if you've decided you don't want an academic career, you've really nothing to lose in telling them you don't understand the theory and don't know how to apply it. It's in their interests too that you complete successfully, even if it's for an MPhil, particularly because you've had research council funding, so maybe a blunt discussion along the lines of 'we all know this isn't going to be an excellent thesis, what would need to be done to make it good enough?', so that you all know exactly where you are, would help. I'd also second the suggestion from charliebrown to have a look at a couple of other theses in your area - sometimes seeing actual examples makes things click better.

A lot of unis have training sessions or workshops on academic writing - perhaps yours does too. It's a shame the essay writing person wasn't more helpful, but as you say perhaps they were more used to dealing with undergrads. What about your peers in your department? Are there any you trust to give you constructive feedback?

There are a lot of resources that might help give you pointers in the right direction. Try Academic Phrasebank (URL at the end of this message) for some suggested sentence snippets. Also check out the Thesis Whisperer blog for general posts about PhD issues. And if you use Twitter, the #AcWri hashtag is used by people to discuss academic writing issues.

An interruption in studies sounds like a good idea. It's not in anyone's interests for you to quit the PhD at this stage, so taking a break from it and returning refreshed sounds like a good way to go.

One other thing to consider - this might just be down to the personal preferences of your supervisors. It may be that your writing is fine, but just not to their tastes. I think you need to seek a variety of sources of constructive feedback.