This thread is in response to the many, many posts I've read on here from people who are finding the life of a PhD student difficult because they miss the life they left behind when they entered into the world of research. This post is to, hopefully, encourage those feeling that way to steal their lives back!

I'm in the process of writing up and have 5 months to get my thesis in. Am I stressed?... Probably. Do I work all hours?... Nope.

In my first year I was really aware of how little time I had to do this mega, mega piece of work, and I admit I worked on it constantly. I was working part time and felt that I had to make up for that time by working on the PhD every other moment I had. I got a lot done and I don't regret that time I spent working night and day, but as soon as I hit second year I decided enough was enough. So i robbed my evenings and weekends back from the PhD, and I've never been happier. I still worked part time during my second year, and have only in the last 2 months stopped that work allowing myself to work full time on the PhD, and I'm still only working 9 -5 on the PhD, and forgetting about it as soon as I leave the office.

I know this won't work for everyone because everyone works differently, but my philosophy is that there's enough time in everyday to fit in the things that make you happy, and so I go on holidays, I see my friends, I train hard in my sport, I have my relationship, and visit my family. I enjoy my life, because after all, what's the point if you're going to wake in the morning regretting having not lived last night.

I read so many posts on here from people who have let their PhD rob them of their lives. The PhD isn't the be-all and end-all of life. Yeah, it's going to get us all (hopefully) a fantastic job which inspires us, but that's not all life is about. So by all means enjoy your PhD, work hard, but let yourself enjoy life as well.

In the words of Oscar Wilde " we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars". I urge everyone feeling overwhelmed by the weight of their PhD to take a step back, look at the bigger picture, and start living again! We only live once after all.

Thanks Jinkim - it can be very stressful to read how much work other people are doing and how stressed they are cos it highlights how lazy I am :$ . I wish I did feel a bit overwhelmed, but always have the feeling 'I'll do it tomorrow' and then go and watch tv - not good! But feel a bit better having read your post!

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Wow, what a wonderful post. After reading all the recent posts about how peoples lives are literally taken over by a PhD and even after that as post-docs etc. i was beginning to feel rather depressed and wondering why the hell am I putting myself (and family, friends etc) through this? My life certainly hasn't been over-taken by my PhD, once I've left uni and head home of an evening, that's it, I try and switch off, making food, watching tv etc. And it's the same at wkend, once I've finished work on a Friday I generally don't do anything until I'm back in on Monday. I know that throughout the next few years there'll be times when I do need to spend all my time on it, and I don't mind that, but if that was going to be the norm for the rest of my life, I'd definitely get out. I agree with JinKim in that sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture. I definitely think doing a PhD and having a life as a researcher can be done without having to dedicate your entire life to it, I really do. The people I've met who are researchers certainly all do have lives, families etc and still are able to carry out their research well. I think there will always be people who dedicate their lives to a job or whatever, and then those that don't but still do well. And I'm hoping to be one of the latter!

Thanks JinKim for making me slightly less depressed about the god-forsaken world of PhDs!!!!!

What a nice counter-balance to my earlier doom and gloom post! A lot of it is state of mind, I'm beginning to think.

This post has thoroughly cheered me up. After a tough first month wondering what iv let myself in for this has made me think i can do this and keep my life at the same time.
Thanks JinKim
:-)

======= Date Modified 27 Oct 2009 15:30:19 =======

I often look to Oscar Wilde for inspiration or cheering up. He was a very wise man!

I'm glad my thread has helped! :-)

Couldn't agree more Jinkim65- well said! Whenever I get stressed or upset by things I always try to think realistically what the worst possible outcome could be, as I have a tendency to blow things out of all proportion. If the worst that can happen is really not that bad then I try to keep it in perspective....usually the worst possible outcome for something I am stressing about is completely laughable in the grand scheme of things (i.e. a piece of work won't quite be completed in time for supervision or I might be 30 seconds late for my teaching class because I've been stuck in a meeting, or if I don't get time to go to the shop I might run out of cookies today- heaven forbid-you get the picture!!). Thanks for that! KB

I was so glad to read this thread! I spent the last two years working full-time and doing my MSc part-time in evenings and weekends, and getting funding to do a PhD full-time just seemed like a dream - no more killing myself, going weeks without a day off, always exhausted, always running to catch up with myself. But I was starting to wonder if my 9-5 approach to the PhD was realistic when I heard how hard other people were working - it's a huge relief to know it is possible to do a PhD and also have a life!