======= Date Modified 05 Apr 2012 09:23:50 =======
============= Edited by a Moderator =============
This is something it appears we are taught very little about in university. Its almost like the text books tell us a fantasy, about the aspie type heroes of science fighting against adversity, and if we do everything the way they did, i.e. persist with ultra science and rationality repeatedly and strategically everything will be alright.

Back to reality as nerds we are not so socially astute and just get run over in the real world by people with lesser academic brains, but instinctively fast social perceptions.

i.e. In social situations the nerd brain may have a 100-300ms latency in making replies or displaying attentional responses to facial stimulus, and that is enough in the competitive world for others to perceive you as “not there” and “easy meat”. From there on you have are on a slippery slope and I found the only thing you can do from there is ramp up your adrenaline levels and assert dominance in a very confrontational manner, that’s akin to being in state where you are basically holding back from whacking somebody physically. This makes it be very clear you too have perceived that person/crowd perception of your disability (albeit it took 300ms longer..gads what a crime !) but you are as a result now going to make damn sure you keep an extra eye on them from that time on

i.e. Basically if you are a nerd and want to cut it, in a world of normals really the only way to do it is be a complete *******. The fact is for the most part its dog eat dog out there, unless you just happen to be one in a thousand who can be a john nash, carl sagan etc etc. where all of a sudden everybody overlooks your eccentricities and you are a beautiful and unique flower.

Yeh right !

======= Date Modified 05 Apr 2012 09:24:23 =======
============= Edited by a Moderator =============
======= Date Modified 05 Apr 2012 08:45:53 =======

a more everyday example is me the nerd taking my car to the local garage. Now being a nerd, i bought the workshop manuals, and know every part of it inside out, but i dont have ramps, tools, time and garage facilities to do the job. Often requires two people anyway.

Before i even take it to the garage ive looked up all the various replacement part types, their quality level, common fitting and misdiagnosis errors. Ive done half their job for them, precisely so i dont have to keep going back.

The mechanics disparage me as "the boffin". I can tell the information is going in one ear and out the other with them. So i get shirty and threaten various consumer actions if they dont do the job to the correct standard, and save me multiple visits.

Then they listen, then they do the job right.

Perhaps they don't listen because you march in telling them what to do in their place of work? Perhaps not being so gung ho and having a conversation with them would work better? Perhaps not expecting everyone to bow down to your incredible superior knowledge just because you tell them to would be better? Of course people are going to be defensive if you go into a place and tell them how to do their job.

Being an @rse is not the best way to deal with it. How about trusting a guy to do his job well? If he doesn't then you can tell them exactly what was wrong with the car and pay them accordingly then take your business elsewhere in the future. If you find a competent mechanic they will sort it out without your help.

going of track somewhat getting into garages, but its to illustrate a point. The fact is the nerd brain is good at cutting through a lot of data very quickly.

We also tend to overload our lives with interests so its vital that what should be simple problems are dealt with quickly. I dont want to have to go to my garage 4 times (amounts to about 8 hours AND stress) for a simple problem when im in the middle of complex research. So i take an hour or two out and do their job for them in advance.

"Basically if you are a nerd and want to cut it, in a world of normals really the only way to do it is be a complete *******. The fact is for the most part its dog eat dog out there, unless you just happen to be one in a thousand who can be a john nash, carl sagan etc etc. where all of a sudden everybody overlooks your eccentricities and you are a beautiful and unique flower."


The thing is, if you behave aggressively then you're not going to end up with many friends. Life is not a competition, no one is scoring you on being the highest paid or most highly ranked person. Human beings require social interaction, starving yourself of that (which you will do if you are constantly aggressive to get what you want) will make you deeply unhappy. I just think that this is poor advice unless your goal is very narrow and doesn't involve people liking you.

I'll use one of my own examples. I worked with a guy that fits your description of a nerd who then is a complete ****** to get what he wanted. He became director of the company. Huge wage and bonus. Everyone in the company dislikes him, he is not a happy man. Lots of money but not a lot else. In the same company there is another guy just as geeky and smart. He just gets on with his job and is nice to people. He's on a good wage (not 1 000 000 ish like the director but pretty good) he has a wife and new child and friends. He is a happy guy.