i'm nearly 3 years into my phd. my progress has been very slow. i've felt overwhelmed and have been struggling for the last 2 years. i can't see the end in sight. i might finish if i did nothing but work for the next 1.5 years but i've lost interest and find it hard to get motivated. i don't think i'm cut out to be a researcher. i'm not enjoying the work. i hate writing papers. i don't like struggling to understand what most papers/talks are about. even if i finish, i can't see myself being employable as a researcher as my lack of progress seems to show i'm not good at being one as i can't meet deadlines, plan research or understand literature. i used to feel good about the job area i worked in before as i was good at it, it felt rewarding and received lots of praise. i feel demoralized and incompetent working as a phd student. it's obviously hard to give up after spending almost 3 years on this but i can't see the point.

i might spend 2 more years on this and then have to give up when i can't produce a good enough thesis. even if i get a phd, I can't imagine industry employers caring much that i have one. it will raise eyebrows in interviews if i don't finish but i can't think of it being that big an issue. can anyone relate to this and give any advice? i think if i knew i would enjoy industry work and that there's little chance of me finishing within 4 years I would leave.

While everyone becomes demoralised at some point, the fact you say that you "hate research" suggests that you are probably better off calling it a day. You arent the only one, and the huge attrition in PhD students reflects this.

A PhD is basically a training to do research full time, and is pretty pointless otherwise. Sure people may talk of "transferable skills", but these are achievable by so many other ways you are going to enjoy more.

What you could do is negotiate a break from your studies and work for a while and see what you think. If you love industry you dont need to come back.

I don't know, Badhaircut - at some points I said, and honestly felt, that I hated research too. I can relate almost all of what the OP says to my experience over the past two years. But I did come through it, and am now storming away & loving it again. But I have felt so black at times in the past.

lemoncheesecake - did you ever consider that you might be depressed / suffering from work-related depression? It is more common (especially in PhD students) than you might think. I am not a doctor, so please don't take this as a diagnosis; this purely my own experience talking. I felt terrible but started taking St. John's Wort, and realised that I had actualy been depressed all along, though not able to "see" it.

Sending out lots of positive energy to you, anyway!

Sorry - I just mean that you sound very negative about yourself in your post, and that is a classic symptom of depression ... feelings of worthlessness & guilt, I mean. I really somehow very much doubt you are THAT bad at what you do, or you wouldn't have been accepted on a PhD in the first place, and certainly would have been kicked-off by now.

thanks for the replies. i actually enjoyed it at the start as i was working on a small project that got me lots of good feedback so i felt like i was doing something worthwhile. i might be able to feel that way about what im doing at the moment again which is why im cautious. my work is beginning to pick up but i find myself avoiding reading literature, im easily discouraged when i cant do things or when i dont understand what im trying to read about, im fed up of the isolation where you feel youre the only person who cares about your work, writing up anything takes me forever etc.

im generally lacking confidence and motivation and im starting to think that even if i do get a phd, i wont be able to use it because im just not good at working by myself and its not that fun sometimes. im starting to consider the worst case scenario where i stay for 2 more years and have my thesis rejected and waste even more time. im not sure what to do but hearing about similar experiences and what you did is useful. thanks.

Hi lemoncheesecake. I'm just going to quite some snippets back from your post, as seeing them together really got me thinking about why you feel so low:

"i actually enjoyed it at the start as i was working on a small project that got me lots of good feedback so i felt like i was doing something worthwhile."

"im easily discouraged when i cant do things or when i dont understand"

"im fed up of the isolation where you feel youre the only person who cares about your work"

These things say to me that you're finding the isolation of the PhD really tough, especially as you seem to thrive on positive feedback (who doesn't?!) I don't think that there's one person who has done a PhD and HASN'T felt like this or suffered from the endless isolation. I reckon you could do two things that might help this:

1) Approach your supervisor and explain how you're feeling. Say you feel low, and need a bit of encouragement to get going again. Come up with a short, easily managed task with him/her (something simple done over a week), then meet again to discuss what you've done and get some feedback.

2) Work on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Prasie *yourself*. Write a list of all the things you're proud of in your life (NOT just in terms of the PhD) & decorate the page with smiley faces (well, perhaps that would be going too far ... ) Think about who makes you feel good about yourself (parents? siblings? friends?) and spend some time with them, letting them know you feel a bit unconfident at the moment & asking for support.

You sound like a really nice, sensitive person, so try not to let all this usual (and it REALLY is usual) PhD crap get you down! Plus you have a cool user name, which made me smile.

This is a good read on the loneliness of research:

http://www.cs.mdx.ac.uk/staffpages/richardb/PhDtalk.html

Very sensible it is, too!