For any reason like work, dinner, birthday party etc. I wonder how common this is.

I got invited for a coffee and a chat about my work once, but my main supervisor makes really crap brews (too weak, too much milk) so I turned her down.

I had dinner with my supervisor and his family this weekend and lots of other PhD students think that it is strange.

I think this is quite common in a long term project such as PhD.

I've wondered about inviting them to my house (I'm a married mature (44) postgrad with children so am settled in a family house) but have decided against it for now (I only started part-time in Dec) - might throw a party when I finish and might invite them to that.

my sup invites me every summer to spend a week or two in her summer house with her and her family. So far I have resisted, but this year I think I will have to go. Its not that I don't want to see her, its just that a week, in anyones house is stressful for me, but my sup as well! And you're expectd to do PhD work while there.

I've been to mine, I met my sup there to go on to a meeting and had a coffee and things - it does feel strange the first time but I think may of us build quite a close relationship with our sups and although you always have to maintain that distance to a certain extent - you can't always expect your sup to be your best mate, you work with them for a very long time and I think its quite normal for friendships to develop which is a good thing. In my dept its quite common and the dept itself tends to have parties and things at one of the houses which we get invited to and I think its an opportunity to get to know them better.

The supervisor lives in London which is a three hour train journey from university, so no. I think they have a professional work - personal life separation. I have been to drinks and dinner with the supervisor with other people after conferences etc, but never round their home. I like that degree of separation. I would be a bit embarassed and nervous to be invited. Wouldn't know what to say about the house, the children, and food etc...

My supervisor invited lots of staff/students round to his house for a garden party some years ago. He's inviting those of us graduating round next week again too :)

Oh dear Sneaks, that sounds like hell. Can't she do the decent thing and invite you when they're not there?

I know my supervisor has a wife and kids, and a father who died, just because he acknowledged them in his books, but our relationship is very professionally based, we discuss work or small talk like weather and the wldlife around campus.

I imagine him only in his work capacity, like he floats down to he departent every moring on a cloud of super sorted achievement in order to bestow wisdom and tell people off when they're being crap. And that's the way I like it. My old sup, who was awful, invited me round for dinner, introduced me to her partner down the pub and got really, really pally. But this personal aspect made the relationship difficult, especially when I tried to discuss my concerns with her, she took it as a personal, emotional thing, rather than a professional one.

My first supervisor's quite socially awkward and very work-focused, so going round to his house would feel really weird I think. My second supervisor's more relaxed and friendly, if we'd met down the pub or something rather than in this formal situation I could imagine us being quite matey, but there's definitely a division between home/social life and work life, and I'm very happy to keep that there! I can only imagine it being hideously embarrassing and awkward to go round for dinner or something.

And Sneaks - eek! I think I'd run a mile rather than spend a week in the company of my supervisor and family in that kind of environment. It sounds excruciating!

======= Date Modified 14 Jun 2010 12:41:32 =======
where have your stars gone eska??

ooh, now they're back, maybe the mods are messin!

I can still see them, can't you?

problem is, the summer house is in the middle of nowhere, so there's no "I'll just pop to town this afternoon" - its stuck there for a week/2! And when someone tells me to work, its the last thing I can do!

Yeah maybe they don't like my revolutionary talk on the other thread: 'let them eat stars' and all that

Do you really have to go? Can't you say you have severe hay fever or something.