Hi all,

I started working on my PhD in October last year and I'm finding it really hard to get through this summer... my supervisor has been really busy for various reasons so I feel like I can't bother him at the moment. I'm working in a literature dept. I've written a (very rough) intro chapter and I'm now working on my first proper chapter. It's going really badly and I've spent a few weeks now staring at it and increasingly feel like I just don't know how to write any more. I've taken days off to do other things to try and get refreshed but it doesn't seem to help. I'm now feeling like nearly a year of my life has gone by and I haven't made any real progress, it makes it worse that I'm borrowing money to do the PhD which I feel like I'm wasting. I've given one conference paper this year and I'm involved in organising a conference next year, which has taken up quite a lot of time this summer. I'm also due to start teaching in my department next year, and I feel sure the students will see right away that I've never taught before and that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel increasing depressed and panicky about everything, and the days just keep passing whilst I make no more progress.

Any words of wisdom appreciated!

You're working in a literature dept. and feel like you don't know how to write any more. Vacation time methinks!

Applecar, don't panic. It sounds to me like you are doing just fine for your first year, but you musn't feel that you cannot contact your surpervisor- that's what he/she is there for. Don't be like me and get into a pattern of non-contact, it's the worst thing you could do at this stage. Keep up regular meetings with your supervisor so that it will feel normal and expected that you are in contact and submitting (even unfinished) work regularly. You can write! You wouldn't be here in the first place if you couldn't. Are you being too perfectionist about your writing? Try to get a viable rough draft of your introductory chapter done without worrying about the detail. Nobody has to see it except you at that stage. From there it will be much easier to shape it into a first draft to show your supervisor. Take it one day at a time. Organizing the conference is time-consuming I'm sure, but this will be a wonderful experience and will look great on your CV and help towards future employment so it is time well spent. Teachers are learners as well. You will learn from your teaching experience as you go along. You can prepare well for classes to reduce nerves- students will listen to you- they are not entering the classroom with the attitude that they want to catch somebody out, believe me. It sounds like too many things are going on in your head. Set aside allocated times and days to deal with these separate issues. When it is chapter-writing time don't allow your mind to wander onto teaching worries etc. Easier said than done, I know, but compartmentalization is a must I've found. You can do it!! (up)

I know your supervisor is busy, but they're supposed to help you in situations like this. Better to get help sooner rather than let it carry on much longer. I'd email him/her and explain what your problem is. Maybe they can offer advice by email, or have a quick meeting with you to discuss things. I always feel geed up after a supervisor meeting, especially if I was totally in the doldrums before. Also it would be better to sort out your writing problems before they get too far. I'm speaking from experience here, having had a tortuous time with the thesis writing.

======= Date Modified 07 Aug 2009 13:53:45 =======
Hi Applecar,



I'm also literature based and started last October. I want to say firstly that it sounds as if you're doing really well. I have almost the opposite problem to you- I've written quite a lot but haven't got any 'outside' activities planned, like teaching or conference organization. That's starting to panic me! So at least you are being pro-active and have plenty going on.

Writing those first few tentative chapters can be so hard. You're probably still trying to get your head around exactly what your opinions are- or what your 'thesis' is. If you're anything like me you'll also be tackling a lot of theory at this point as you try to formulate these ideas. That can make everything feel woolly and vague.

The thing is, you have to go through the crappy first drafts to end up with anything of substance. Chapters don't leap from anyone's mind fully formed. It's a process of craft more than anything. I am on version 5 of a chapter I started last year! I can't remember what version 1 was like but I imagine it was pretty awful!

What is your agreement with your supervisor? Is he planning to read and comment on these successive drafts? That's how I have gone about things anyway and it's worked. How about giving yourself a deadline of a couple of weeks, but I'd say no more than 3 as you say you've already spent quite a while working on it, and just getting everything down on paper. Explain to him that it will be very rough and probably full of errors, but at least you'll have something to start working with. Take any comments he makes on board and then start the whole process again...eventually you'll end up with something you're semi-happy with!

Have to reccomend a book often talked about on here- 'Writing your dissertation in 15 minutes a day' by Joan (or Jean?!) Bolker. It talks about the need to produce these 'messy' first drafts. It's an absolute lifesaver.

ETA: Just realized you said your supervisor is busy and you feel like you can't 'bother' him. I would say you need to sort this out firstly. Ask him what he is willing to look at and when. It might be he only wants to see decent drafts, in which case you would have to work towards that. But you must establish these boundaries.

Good luck (up)