So I'm in the final year of my PhD and although my supervisor and I have had minor clashes before we've gotten over them and continued with our work. However recently working with him is just becoming unbearable! A could of weeks ago I texted him on a Monday morning asked if I could work from home that week as I had no experiments to do in the lab and I would be more productive analysing my data on my laptop at home (and I was VERY productive). He told me that I could not work from home and that he wanted to see me at 10:30am that day. Long story short I didn't go in and I apologised fr not doing what he said but I knew that I would be more productive at home. I know I should have given him more notice but was unabvle to due to the nature of my experiments.
Anyway I asked a lab mate of mine to do a very small pice of lab work for me to prepare my cels for the following week but my supervisor forbade them to do it. So then I had another week of no experiments!
No he seems determined to be in pain in my ass and I'm sure he's trying to make my life difficult. He refuses to have meeting with me after another fall out we had which was a simple misunderstanding. Now when I ask him if he wants to have a meeting I get a smarmy response from him like 'it's not for my benefit' which makes me not want to meet with him at all.

He's is seriously making me want to pakc my PhD in altgether, I just cannot stand him. What can I do??? I know people are going to tell me to hang in there but I'm going to need help in my write up, what if he refuses to proof read my thesis or does a half arsed job?? I don't know what to do =(

Jo

======= Date Modified 04 Jul 2012 17:06:44 =======
It's difficult to get the balance between developing autonomy as a student while recognising your responsibilities as a member of a research group. However, it is always worth trying to keep those in authority happy within reasonable limits.

In general I would say:
- try to give as much notice as possible about working from home. I realise you say you couldn't on this occasion, but perhaps you should have asked just to work at home that day, rather than a whole week, if you weren't going to give much notice. Then negotiate for the rest of the week based on the initial reaction
- if your supervisor says 'no' and wants to you to see him, do not defy him.
- if you take the choice to work from home for the sake of your productivity, it isn't necessarily fair to ask colleagues to do prep for you in your absence. It doesn't sound like there was anything actually stopping you from coming to the lab to do this yourself, and having already upset your supervisor, it would have been a good idea to show up and do it yourself.

He may well be being unreasonable with regard to previous incidents, but he is right to point out that your meetings are not, primarily, for his benefit. If you want to improve your relationship with him, I suggest that you try to toe the line a little bit more.

Thanks for your reply.

I appreciate your point of view but my supervisor has made it increasingly difficult for everyone in the lab. He is now blaming me for other people's mistakes. One lab member gave up two days worth of experiments because the stimulator was not plugged in because I had unplugged it for one of my experiments. Accoring to Nick this is my fault and I should apologise. However if my supervisor had trained this student properly he would have known to check that the stimulator was simply plugged in. Or he could have phoned me (he has my number) or asked one of the three other people in the lab. This is a second year student, surely he should be able to use more initiative. But no, it's my fault.
This is how unreasonable my supervisor has become. I simply told him that it wasn't my fault and explained why, now I'm in for a massive telling off tomorrow morning. How can I deal with such an unreasonable man?!?

You described that your supervisor's manner has changed, which leads me to wonder if something is going on in his own life. After all, bosses and supervisors are human, and sometimes even the best of them allow stress from home to carry over into the workplace. For all you know, the stress could be coming from the workplace, because even tenured professors are under duress lately due to massive budget cuts at most universities. Maybe you need to cut him some slack, and just do what he asks.

Of course, there's a difference between swallowing your pride a bit, and allowing someone to treat you like a doormat...But choose your battles wisely. Maybe you could make a dartboard with his photo on it just to relieve some tension when you get home.

Regarding your concern about help with proofreading, it's always a good idea to have an unofficial supervisor with whom you can talk about your work, and who is willing to give feedback. (Don't depend on one person for help if you don't have to.)

Oh. I have been there. And I'm afraid to say there's not a lot you can do about that kind of thing. If I were you I would just keep my head down and try not to give any reasons for your boss to react badly to you. All you can really do is try to stay out of the firing line.