Hey

This is the first time for me to post here. Sorry to sound like I'm whining, but I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about how I'm feeling.

I'm 9 weeks into my PhD and feeling totally depressed and underconfident about it. I'm trying to put together a research proposal (due soon), and feel the scribbles I've been trying to put down are total rubbish and that I'll never get it together in time. Am constantly stressed about it, I even have nightmares about work every night. I feel so stupid all the time and hate feeling like this.

While my supervisor is a nice guy, he has high expectations of everyone who works for him, and I'm his first PhD student. I never feel like he's at all impressed with any of my ideas. Part of the problem is that I feel i know so little about the subject that I'm scared stiff during all our meetings because he inevitably asks me questions I don't know the answers to.

Is this the way a PhD feels? Will I feel like this throughout? I hate that I can't seem to cope!

Any advice would be much appreciated!

Read this:

http://www.cs.mdx.ac.uk/staffpages/richardb/PhDtalk.html

Very wise words!

Everybody feels like you do, some or even most of the time. Don't let it get you down. All part of the learning curve.

"the scribbles I've been trying to put down are total rubbish and that I'll never get it together in time"

Everything I write starts like that. Somehow it always comes together though. You'll soon learn that you can do more than you think.

Short answer Yes with an if, long answer No with a but!
Please please please don't be put off this is all perfectly normal! I'm in year 2 and still feel exactly the way you describe it. I think it is my Sups that make me hate what I do if I were just left to my own devices I'd be loving it. Don't get too hung up on your sups expectations. Just work in your own framework. Feelings of being lost and inadequate come with the territory so don't panic if things are messy and confused...some days things will come into focus and then go again but eventually you will see with a higher level of clarity.
xx

SciFi - the only thing I can offer you is to tell you that you are not alone... i just started this year, and feel like it's all out of control already. I hate not having concrete things to do/write and finding it really hard to get into the mindset of literally going with the flow. Also, I dread my supervisory meetings because I can't even understand what my sup is talking about half the time, let alone the questions they ask!! It seems like they are on a completely higher level to me (I guess they are, they have had years and years of experience) I keep thinking that maybe they think I am really stupid, but from what I've read on this board it all seems a normal part of the (very weird) process! I also think that I will never be able to reach that stage.. who knows.
I think it's going to be a very tough few years! Sorry if my rant didn't really help, but in a strange way it's nice to see I'm not the only one going mad!;)

Thanks for the responses, folks, it really helps to know that other people feel this way too sometimes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that I can make it through the planning stage! I'm sure it'll get better once I'm busy with labwork, coz I love being at the bench, I think I'm just finding the planning bit really stressful, coz I'm scared that I don't have enough plans in place yet.

Thanks again everyone :)

Hi Scifi,

I agree with all remarks above. Also you are only 9 weeks into your research project and at that stage it is normal that you do not know everything about your subject. Even stronger you probably get more and more confused! Keep on reading and summarise what you have learned, gradually you will notice that areas come back again and again and you will realise who the key authors are etc.

So persevere, you will get more confident with time ...