Hi all - my partner is 9 days out from the first draft of his thesis being due. He is working long hours and is getting stressed and frustrated. I want to be able to do something/anything to help him but I don't want to interfere and be annoying....any suggestions?

I am planning a super relaxing day for the day after the draft is due - hotel room/massage/wine etc but other than that, I can't think of anything I can do to help him through the next week or so.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Thanks,
Kate :)

Do anything around the house that needs to be done so he doens't feel like he is "betraying his thesis" if he has to cook or clean whatever. That's what my partner does. Also understand that he may be ranting on about somehting or other most likely because he wants validation and although it might seem stupid just saying stuff like "wow you've made so much progress today" would mean THE WORLD to him if he is super stressed.

Also if he's snappy and crabby don't take it personaly. I snarled at my partner the other day because he didn't get me a knife at breakfast, after he had made me breakfast and coffee and lunch for the day :/. I don't envy your position either and i'm glad my partner earned his PhD BEFORE he met me LOL

I second the cooking and cleaning - I wish I had someone to do that for me! I find that I just need someone to agree with me haha! The last thing I want to hear is "well you just have to get on with it" or when moaning about my supervisor "you could have raised that with her earlier" - i.e. anything that may be my fault - I DO NOT want to hear! I want to be agreed with that my supervisor is a complete pain and everything i have done is wonderful.

At this stage, I'd also like someone to proofread for me and do my referencing! But as my hubby is a) dyslexic and b) lazy then that is not going to happen :p

My partner was great while I was writing up. He did all the cleaning and washing that needed doing and although he doesn't really cook, did organise the shopping and buy the odd takeaway. There were little touches like stocking the fridge with diet coke and energy drinks, and changing the bed so it was nice and cosy when I finally got to bed. He also drew me a nice bubble bath on a regular basis, did some proofreading and other admin tasks (shredding old drafts etc) all of which helped enormously. Little things make a big difference.
(He also got up at 5:30 am with me on a weekday to let me do a few hours work before I started my day job (I worked FT throughout) and went out to the gym so I would not be disturbed)

Yep Sneaks I was very lucky! It sounds as though Kate's partner is going to be just as lucky (Go Kate!).
I did watch crap on TV, but only when I wanted to!

One other thing that might be helpful Kate - I kept running out of supplies such as paper and post-its. Keeping those stocked might help. Basic, I know, but really useful.

Thanks for your suggestions - unfortunately we don't live together, as he still lives at home, so his Mum has all the chores sorted (lucky him!), so sounds like just being supportive and giving him space is the best way to go. I have provided late night snacks so maybe that will help too?!

Thanks for taking the time to respond!!!

Kate :)

If he's at home and has someone to feed him and stick fluid in front of him to drink ( I needed BOTH, I was in a world of my own at this stage), then lots and lots and lots of support ESPECIALLY when he tells you he can't do it and it won't be ready.

That and PROOF READING. Proof read as much as you can. Check the headings, page numbers, image titles etc all match up with the contents page. Look for typos, spelling mistakes, formatting errors etc etc etc.

AND finally, be his common sense when he can't load the printer, save the right version to a USB stick, remember that he's got no shoes on when he goes to hand it in, etc etc etc. BE his brain. :-)

Forget about any snapping he does. It isn't deliberate and he possibly won't even remember he did it.

Good Luck.