Hi all,
This autumn I'm starting a 'new' PhD. I quit my first PhD just over a year ago now, after about 7 months of study, because the subject area turned out to be very different to what I was wanting to do. I'm therefore really thankful that I've been offered this second opportunity and determined that this time it will work out - it's doing the subject I really want to be doing this time, so it should all be fine. However, I've started to get a bit of 'stage fright' - it's felt a while since I've been in academia, and I'm also going to be moving far away from my friends and family for the project. As someone who tends to worry, I'm already nervous that I'll feel lonely or stressed, which obviously isn't a good idea, as I need to be going in with a positive attitude to increase my chances of success! So do any of you have any 'coping mechanisms' for when times get tough or advice on how to stay positive when embarking on your PhD? I've recently started doing some mindfulness which I'm hoping will lower my anxiety.
Thanks!
My motto was that my thesis had to be good enough to pass. New PhD students tend to think they need to be brilliant, but the reality is that your first major piece of reasearch is not going to be your best. Its ok to be mediocre. A PhD thesis is a particular piece of writing, mostly composed of lenghty, boring, defensive writing. You dont need to be bold. Just make sure you cover all the obvious shortcomings in your research.
Your post already shows signs of this ‘delusion of grandeur’ so to speak. Nobody really cares about your research. People who are not in academia dont give a shit about research. People in academia rarely read PhD theses cause they are too long and boring.
So really you are not in a ‘stage’ and therefore you should not be frightened. Most likely, the only 3 people who will ever read your work are your super and your examiners, only because they are paid to do so. Nobody has really the time or the patience to read a PhD thesis unless they kind of have to.
I was so enlightened by mattfabb's reply (I'm in the writing up stages) that I wasn't very helpful in my own one!
I think I can understand your feelings of apprehension as you start a new PhD having quit the last one. I can see how that previous experience could easily feed into how you are feeling now. I guess it's a bit like anything - if something went wrong - a relationship - even a swimming lesson - it kind of can make you feel a bit apprehensive next time you are faced with doing it.
"I'm therefore really thankful that I've been offered this second opportunity and determined that this time it will work out - it's doing the subject I really want to be doing this time, so it should all be fine."
That is the truth of the matter here. The negative feelings / stage fright are just that - feelings. One thing you could do is challenge your own thoughts and fears when they come (maybe this is something in your mindfulness routine - but it's also useful to just get into the habit of challenging such thoughts until they eventually just stop coming). Also, you could start to get into the work so that they can't distract you. Re moving away from friends and family - could you plan so that you will visit once a month or whatever seems reasonable - just to put that nagging doubt to rest? Having a support plan like that in place is definitely a good idea if you already know you are someone who can get stressed or lonely when feeling isolated.
Just to say, well done - it takes amazing courage to quit a PhD when you realise it isn't for you. As a word of encouragement, a friend of mine quit hers one year in and then started another. It was a similar scenario to yours - it just wasn't in what she wanted to do. She is much happier now and nearing the end of her first year on the new PhD.
All the best!
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